A year ago November, my older sister (addict) was neglecting her children. At the time one was 17 (my mother practically raised her) and one was 6. It was killing me, not only to see the kids neglected but having to constantly stop my plans or family responsibilities to help my niece and nephew. I would have rather had them here or knew before hand what they needed (I know selfish) My niece was 6 weeks away from her 18th birthday. I learned from my councilor that if I called DSS before my niece was 18 they would help her make a life for herself.
After much anguish. I called DSS, they found nothing. I was shocked. Even when she left her kid with a stranger and took the guys car for 3 days the police could do nothing. Finally the guy reported the car stolen,and they were able to go get her kids and bring them to my house where they stayed with my mom in her apt downstairs. My niece didn't like my moms rules and came up here with me. I had siilar rules but didn't repeat them all day long. The state gave my niece a choice: On her 18th birthday she could stay here and the state would give her health ins. and a free ride to a state school or she could go home and live at her moms (her om was in rehab).
She always talked of how she hated her mom, she was tired of raising her brother etc. I told her this was an oppurtunity of a life time, this could change her whole future. She listened....she thought...she left.
My sister got clean got her son back, her daughter still lives with them and they all live in disfunctional bliss. My sister got unclean and and my nieces life is harder than ever.
I cannot express the feeling I got watching my niece walk away from a better life to go bad to the exsistance she loathed. I had to detach from the situation.
At anyrate my niece passed up opportunity becasue she didn't know what it was. Her love and loalty to her mom won. Her negative upbringing scarred her to a point of non repair.
My nepehw is here today at my moms, as he is most days, we don't know where my sister or my niece are.... I hate to see it happen and yet there is not much I can do but try and show this kid a normal family....and I am hardly normal
I share this because there is some truth in what Silk says. It is not your problem to fix, no matter how much you want to. Also I don't know about other states, but here there are loops holes that protect parents even when they are awful parents. He is also 16, in this state that is the age you can sign yourself out of school.
However, all hope cannot be lost. I almost dropped out of school when I was 17, someone (can't remember exactally who) took the time to sit me down and help me to see the importance of my education, I pressed on.
I don't know if all this helps but I guess from all of it I can say is plan for success in whatever road you choose but prepare for disappointment becasue from what you describe this kid is a lot like my niece. He knows what he knows so he lives it and loves it.
In closing I can only pray that my children are more influenced by my successes than my failures and I hope I am never put into the catagory of a questionable parent... as my grandpa used to say...don't spit in the air, it will land in your face....(you know I had to try it)
hope that helps a little, since I spilled guts all over this post! Good Luck