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BCM Infomercial


aramike
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*Cue cheesy music*

Have you ever wanted to travel the stars? Fight aliens in space, air, and on the ground? Well we've got the answer for you!

Battlecruiser Millennium ™, the latest incarnation of the acclaimed Battlecruiser ™series is now available to YOU! That's right; fuel up, fly away, and fight an assortment of dangerous and insidious creatures in the privacy of your home! Conquer the galaxy or engage in trade and become filthy rich!

How much would you expect to pay for such an exciting adventure? Not $300. Not $200. Not even $100. If you order within the next 10 minutes, you'll receive the entire BCM ™ adventure package for the incredibly low, LOW price of $49.95!

That's right, get all the action, exploration, and adventure you could ever partake in for the AMAZING price of $49.95!

But wait -- that's not all!

If you are one of the first 5,000 callers you'll also receive this AMAZING full-color map of the Battlecruiser ™ galaxy as our gift to you! A $15 value!

You get the Battlecruiser Millennium ™ game, the full manual, and the galaxy map ALL for the low, LOW price of $49.95!

You satisfaction is guaranteed. If you don't like the game, simply return it for a full refund! But the galaxy map is yours to keep as our gift to you! You have nothing to lose!

To order, call 1-888-BCM-GAME. Have your major credit card ready. Call NOW!

Or send check or money order to:

BCM Game

PO Box 10000

Richmond, VA 23280

Sorry, no CODs

California residents include sales tax

Void where prohibited

Battlecruiser Millennium ™ -- BE THERE!!!

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There are a few keys to any successful info-mercial, for example...

#1 Cameos! Have some celebrities, like the SC, make a guest appearance and try out your product!(and swear that you've never met them, never seen them before, and/or not related to them)

#2 Have people that have tried out the product appear! Same rule as above, you do NOT know *cough, cough*, the person saying,"Yes,BCM changed my life! Thank you SC!"

#3 If you can take the tape of the infomercial, chop it up, rearange in a random order, and it's STILL the same infomercial, it works!

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You could have the SC do an interview. Then the SC could take questions from the audience and then questions from phone calls!

If things go well, a spot on Larry King Live!

Nah, probably not, SC is too busy programming, writing his memoirs, fending off rifraft like(shirley), besides SC is waiting for another countdown to start!

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quote:

Wanna do something really cheezy? Let's start a countdown to the next countdown! Yeah!

LOL yeah,

and aramike I know what you mean, there is hardly anyone on the boards around 1AM my time. Epsilon 5 always seems to share my visits and time frame between here and when I am on AW.

Sometimes you just have to talk to yourself. Might start a thread:

I'm talking to myself, please leave me alone. Then through the whole thread, ME:"Hi buddy" Me "hey pal" Me:"so whatcha doin?" ME: "talking to you" Me:"I know smartass"

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ROFLMAO, you guys are really out of this world!!!

$iLK, do that even more and we might have to send you to the funny farm, way before BCM ships!!!

Aramike, you must be way too bored!!!! Maybe you do something constructive like what I do every night bonk my woman and then countdown the number of days when BCM ships It always puts me to sleep before I can reach 10

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On the subject of informercials:

10 times only?!!!! I recommend this ancient chinese herb called "tongkat ali " I swear drink it twice a day and you too can be an energizer bunny just like me.

Dr Fendi

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Try that $hit like that dude in American Pie 2... "I can go for days..."

Actually me and my wife decided to read the kama sutra thing or whatever, but being me I decided to go the old fashioned way and put in a movie :"Planet Lesbo" or something and we used that...

Actually I probably shouldn't have tried watching all those movies cause they decieve you into thinking you can do it however many times and she never gets pregnant and my house is starting to look like a daycare... maybe I can sue the pr0n industry for deceptive advertising?

Well as for the infomercial thing I think that's pretty funny... but I can see that you were bored.

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BETTER YET ARAMIKE!

Put that dude that's always on TV screaming with the weird hair and suit with dollar signs all over it yelling about how he can make you money (strangely I don't trust him). Anyway put him in the infomercial... guaranteed sales!

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quote:

maybe I can sue the pr0n industry for deceptive advertising?

Yeah like how come the pizza delivery girl never come on to me when she delivers the pizza like they always do in the movies?

Anyway how did this thread ended up into a sexual discussion?

[ 10-05-2001: Message edited by: Fendi ]

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I don't know, most conversations with us guys do end up that way anyhow...

Maybe I can sue for gross negligence on the part of "SKANKY FILMS INC." or something.

Anyway, I think that having that moron do the infomercial would be cool... people would be sitting on the couch, watching tv. relatively comfortable in their lives, then out of no where pops this insult to humanity screaming about how he is a "money making genius" and telling everyone to send him money and he will sell you a book he wrote "guaranteed to make you rich" Maybe it's a coloring book or scrap book he put together after watching lifestyles of the rich and famous?

"HEY EVERYBODY! Buy BCM and I promise YOU YOUR TESTICLES WON't SHRIVEL OFF!!! PLEASE sEND ME MONEY AND START THE PATH TO SUCCESS WITH MY WACKY BOOK AND THIS KILLER GAME!"

moron then jumps around and makes Jim Carrey faces for about 2 minutes and then holds out his hand for money...

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  • 2 weeks later...

You know, some people think when you get famous TV or movie actors to push a product you actually have to pay them. For instance, think Maxis payed Drew Carey? No! He was, of course, brainwashed.

I can see it all now...

MTV: BUY BCM... TO NOT BUY BCM CAUSES YOU TERRIBLE PAIN!!!

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