Jump to content

Night at the movies - AvP


Supreme Cmdr
 Share

Recommended Posts

Might as well continue this here.

quote:


Originally posted by Scrivener:

quote:

Just imagine if next week I went to see AvP and it turns out to be a love orgy between the predators and the aliens. I'd be pissed.

Well, based on the early previews I've talked about and the recently-announced PG-13 rating, you might not be too far off there...


Oh, yeah, thats what I want to do; listen to your friends from the Art Institute.

And a movie doesn't need an R rating to be good. A PG-13 suits me just fine; as long as it is entertaining, the rating doesn't mean anything. Anyone who pre-judges a movie based on a rating, is a FOOL.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Those are guys who liked The Village about as much as you, SC

Anyhoo, Aint It Cool News posted some very similar reviews a while back from another preview screening. While not as scathing as the reviews I got secondhand, most people still felt pretty indifferent towards the film.

In any case I still say that Riddick could have benefitted greatly from the R content cut at the last minute. I've seen too many 'ok' movies that could have been GRRRRRRREAT if only they hadn't been dumbed down to meet a PG13 audience.

It's funny how Hollywood works - they make an R movie(s) that become(s) a pop culture phenomenon, then all of a sudden, the franchise goes PG13. Can you imagine a PG13 'Friday the 13th'? It's not as unlikely as you might think.

The Alien and Predator franchises have, what, 6 R-rated movies behind them - and this one is suddenly PG13? That means no chest bursters - no swearing - no BLOOD (human blood, anyway) - and no SCARY. We're gonna get a straight-out WWE-style smackdown between Aliens and Predators with some really bad actors thrown in to salt the wound. I see this as a way to water down/ruin/massmarketize the two most beloved american scifi/horror concepts in one fell swoop.

Maybe you don't mind this - I do. I've seen enough mindless action flicks to last me ten lifetimes... and they just all look the same to me now.

I don't bash a movie just because it's PG13, but because in instances like this - the PG13 is a very bad omen... like Robocop 3 or Conan the Destroyer (Which was actually a PG sequel to an R rated movie). Coupled with all the other news surrounding the film, the PG13 rating means that AvP is definitively aiming for the teeny bopper/family crowd instead of fans of either franchise.

If you're any kind of Alien or Predator fan, prepare yourself to be dissapointed. If you set your expectations low enough, maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised. I'm just trying to warn you, this isn't going to be an Alien OR Predator film - just so much wonton massmarket popculture action garbage.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

quote:


Originally posted by Scrivener:

Those are guys who liked The Village about as much as you, SC


Ah OK, they're my new best friends then

quote:


The Alien and Predator franchises have, what, 6 R-rated movies behind them - and this one is suddenly PG13? That means no chest bursters - no swearing - no BLOOD (human blood, anyway) - and no SCARY. We're gonna get a straight-out WWE-style smackdown between Aliens and Predators with some really bad actors thrown in to salt the wound.


I see what you mean about the R rating; but again, why is a PG-13 such a bad thing? They're just trying to make sure that everyone and their dog, sees this one.

As for the bad actors, I dunno. Lance Henriksen is not a bad actor. The others are no-name actors, but thats a good thing if they're trying to breathe new life into the franchise.

Remember also that this is not an Aliens or a Predator film. Its just the much and long awaited throw down between two intergalactic bad asses and they just want everyone to be able to watch it. Blood, guts and gore do NOT make a movie good. If done properly, a PG-13 lets the viewer make up the rest with their own imagination; assuming the viewer actually has one.

I, for one, welcome a PG-13 rating because it means I'm not going to be pissed (and leave) as I was over Blade 2. As you can see, Blade 2 was gory beyond belief; while Hellboy was just great. Same directors.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

By giving the movie a PG-13 rating, not only will they open up their audience, but they may also be able to tantalize people who normally wouldn't watch the Alien or Predator movies because of their ratings enough that they'll decide to watch them.

Same reason you get samples at a grocery store, or demos for a video game.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

there wasnt' a pg13 rating when some of the movies were made.(definitly not the first Alien, not sure for Predator)

I mean except for the F--- bomb in predator it's not much worse than some TV (gore wise).

also I think PG-13 stuff is more 'R' like than it used to be..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey, saw a couple clips today.

I'm of mixed opinion. Too WWF? Too slow? I'm not going to critique before I've seen the final result, but I'm thinking that the hallmark of both of these films was the stealthy aspect that built tension until it was released in the action scenes of the movie. If this ends up basically being a slugfest, I think I'll feel that one of the primary components of what made both of these characters cool has been underused.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah Zane, that's what I'm sensing too. I'm pretty open about not being an action film buff. I like movies with action, I hate action movies - and this is undoubtably going to be an 'action movie.' I'm also a huge fan of the Alien films, but not so much for Predator (merely 'pretty good' in my book). I just don't think there's any way to do justice to the source material with a PG13 action movie.

Then there's the issue of the cast, I've heard the acting is very poor - the numerous interviews and behind the scenes footage floating around only helps to support that conclusion.

Sure, some people are going to like it - there are plenty of people that make a passtime of killing brain cells - I'm not one of those people. Just look up my reviews of Van Helsing and The Mummy. IMO, those films were utter crap. It seems more and more likely that AvP is going to be - just - like - those.

BTW - since you can't show a chest-burster and get a PG13, they show them only through a green XRay vision thing. You can also get ONE f-bomb in a PG13 so long as it's not overly apparent/stressed.

T-minus 2 days till I pass my final terrible judgement. Who will say "I told you so." Will it be SC... or me? Or will we Ebert/Roper it like The Village? Tune in Friday night (or Saturday morning) for the shocking conclusion of "AvP: Kickass, or just plain ass?"

EDIT: "Oh God. They did it. They really did it. They blew it all up. You bastards!"

Ugh, I feel sick.

Click here for a grand attroupement of AvP reviews.

[ 08-12-2004, 01:24 PM: Message edited by: Scrivener ]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Hellbinder[CE]

It has a 10% rating at Rottentomatoes..

I cant believe how mean these guys are being. I just watched an interview with Lance Henrickson and he just saw the completed piture yesterday. He really liked it. He called it "Masterful"..

I am heading to see it shortly.. well see..

I bet its great.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I dont care what anyone says... AvP was glorious! Ive never heard so much clapping in one movie. It really didnt end the way I thought it would and I really think the first two predators died too quickly... however all in all 10/10

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Hellbinder[CE]

Are you kidding me? I just got back from seeing it. Trust me NO ONE was clapping. People were groaning, a few people walked out... There was "talking" going on through the whole movie.

That was by far the WORST movie they could have possibly made for this series. The acting was bad, the characters were lame, the Plot was completely ridiculous. The action pieces were Mediocre at best. No tension, no suspense and more cheese than you could put on a 10 Ton order of Nachos.

The story screws up just about every single premise of both Alien races. Since ween does the impregnation phase, and birth phase of aliens last less than 30 minutes? actually it was more like 10 minutes.. Completely lame. With Growth to full adulthood in an hour? get serious..

The Predators suddenly Run the same speed as a Human FEMALE? They barely jump further than a human FEMALE? Dont even get me started at how totally Ridiculous the relationship between the Chick and the predator is.. TOTLALLY STUPID.

Personally I know what the atmosphere in my theater was and i have a really hard time believing that people were clapping and cheering in yours..

The one saving face of this movie was the nice Job they did on the Alien Queen. That was nice.. But .. then again.. the Plot and action sequences surrounding her here as contrived and lame as can be. Now i understand why it has a 10% rating at Rottentomatoes.. That is what it deserves.

What would have been wrong with following the MUCH better storyline from the Graphic novel or heck even the AVP2 game by Monolith. Both totally smoke this crap.

[ 08-14-2004, 01:01 AM: Message edited by: Hellbinder ]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

YouÔÇÖve heard my prophesies and predictions concerning this movie. Let me just say that I was wrong. I canÔÇÖt ever remember being as entertained as I was during the last 60mins of AvP. Let me explain.

This movie is awful. Terrible. Inexplicably incomparably incomprehensively indescribably bad like having a fire-whitened piece of steel forcibly inserted into to your rectum.

First ÔÇô the script was as bad as if it were written by a 10-year-old special needs student during movie hour at the special Olympics. Every line of dialogue, every plot element, every character and death and location was amateur, unbelievable, and ridiculous. This is most apparent during the first 45 minutes, where all of the piss-poor actors stand around on Jurassic Park 3 sets tossing around clich├®s like they were going out of fashion.

ThereÔÇÖs the obligatory strong female lead, Alexa - ÔÇ£You want my advice: stay on the ship.ÔÇØ

Millionaire Charles Bishop ÔÇ£McGuyverÔÇØ Wayland - ÔÇ£Nobody turns their back on me.ÔÇØ

Sebastian ÔÇô ÔÇ£The enemy of our enemy is our friend.ÔÇØ

Et al. The scientific characters pulling-backstory-out-of-thin-air was in abundance here as well. Characters would wander around the temple and spontaneously start spouting off backstory completely out of the blue (ItÔÇÖs all those carefully placed ÔÇÿhieroglyphics.ÔÇÖ)

Like I said, the first 45 minutes were so bad that people were starting to get really pissed off. A few just up and left, usually making much rukus on the way out.

But then something extraordinary happened.

Following a 20-foot Matrix-jump across a giant chasm, the last human character bit the dust in a scene stolen straight out of Fellowship of the Ring. IÔÇÖm not sure if the words were actually said, but I swear to god I heard the character say ÔÇ£Run, you fools.ÔÇØ

Moments later Alexa was staring the Mongoloid Predator in the face as he handed her a makeshift spear and alien-head shield. I didnÔÇÖt mean to say it aloud, but in my best Don KnottÔÇÖs voice I said ÔÇ£IÔÇÖm gonna make you my deputy.ÔÇØ

The tension broke, the people behind us started laughing, the people next to them, the people next to those people. In seconds, the whole theatre erupted in laughter at the sheer incredible stupidity of what we were seeing and hearing. Even without further commentary, the rest of the film was one good laugh after another. ThatÔÇÖs right. THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE WAS LAUGHING.

There were no surprises ÔÇô you saw everything coming. Even the ridiculously loathsome end ÔÇÿtwist.ÔÇÖ The movies logic is so off that itÔÇÖs not just full of holes ÔÇô it simply doesnÔÇÖt exist. Alien juice is apparently only acidic when it suits the storyÔÇÖs purposes ÔÇô meaning that about half the time itÔÇÖs only so much harmless snot.

Oh yeah ÔÇô and the aliens know kung fu. Again, IÔÇÖm not kidding.

Most of the action between predators and aliens consists of shaking the camera around in front of a big grey cloth. At least thatÔÇÖs what it looked like. Then every so often an alien would get in a flying jump kick or some such nonsense.

Anyhoo, the movie ended just like it began  with scenes stolen straight out of Jurassic Park and every other lameass action movie you have ever seen. Theres a big explosion, running away from a tunnel of fire and an Queen alien gets loose in downtown San Francisco

Ok, not really on the last part. But it gives about the same effect.

It was so bad that at one point, I actually believed that Alexa and Mr. Mongoloid Predator were about to make out. IÔÇÖm NOT kidding. And I wasnÔÇÖt the only one either. The friend I was with and many other patrons discussed it openly following the film.

Leaving the theatre I was laughing so hard I puked in the parking lot. Again, I am not kidding. I was laughing THAT hard.

Anyway, I said at the beginning that I was wrong about this movie. It's true. AvP is much worse than I could have ever imagined. So much so that it is my new candidate for ÔÇ£WORST-MOVIE-EVER.ÔÇØ And I have to stress, every word of this review is the complete and honest-to-God truth. No exaggerations. No joshing. This really is the worst film ever made in the entire long history of cinema.

-3/10

Link to comment
Share on other sites

quote:

The story screws up just about every single premise of both Alien races. Since ween does the impregnation phase, and birth phase of aliens last less than 30 minutes? actually it was more like 10 minutes.. Completely lame. With Growth to full adulthood in an hour? get serious..

Considering the first movie could be construed as being nearly real time, and she didn't have the luxury of medical care like John Hurt's character, it's definately possible. The AVP2 game has an even shorter gestation time in the marine portion of the game. The time period between birth and full growth in the first movie wasn't long at all.

quote:

The Predators suddenly Run the same speed as a Human FEMALE? They barely jump further than a human FEMALE? Dont even get me started at how totally Ridiculous the relationship between the Chick and the predator is.. TOTLALLY STUPID.

A predator that has been impregnated with an Alien. No telling what it was doing to his physiology.

I thought it was a decent movie. Not the best in the whole world and an R rating would have given us a lot more blood that could have been strategically used in more than a few places. Cursing was more of a non-issue other than cutting short the famous line Arnold delivers in the 1st pred movie concerning his opinon of how the predator looks. The acting wasn't particuarly stunning, but it wasn't horrible either. The plot was pretty Cheesy at some points. i.e. "Yeah, I'm the guy that dies, but let me show you pictures of my kids first."

Having it take place in the present is completely innane as how is the creator of the Bishop series of androids supposed to show up at the end of Alien 3? Would have been much better if even if it was just a few scant 100 years in the future or something.

Seeing the Alien Queen get all bad ass was really cool as well as the limited character development by all the other non-humans. NOt much in the char dev department for the humans as well... guess what happens to them.

I'd give it a 7.5-8 out of 10

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Hellbinder[CE]

CedricB.

No the gestation peiod in the game is *NOT* shorter. It is longer. Much longer.. The difference is That Games are paced differently and there is no clear ammount of time between "levels"

Look at Aliens, Alien 3 etc.. The Gestation period is at a MINIMUM more than 24 hours. With another 24 Hours + to get to adult form.

Neither do I buy that idea regarding the predators speed etc.. Look how Good he was fighting.

This on the other hand

quote:

Most of the action between predators and aliens consists of shaking the camera around in front of a big grey cloth. At least thatÔÇÖs what it looked like. Then every so often an alien would get in a flying jump kick or some such nonsense.


Is sooo freaking funny (and true) that I about spit coffee all over my Monitor.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ignoring everything Scriv said, then go see the movie for what it is. A LOT of fun.

I just saw it. Its a LOT of fun and making it PG13 doesn't ruin anything. Sure, its not the best movie you will see this Summer, but its certainly not the worst movie of all time.

The scenes were believable and the hapless humans are portrayed as just that, hapless. Why? Because the damn movie is not about them.

While I don't buy part of the story about the relationship between the early humans and the predators, it doesn't detract from the movie.

Its a lot of fun; and yeah, most everyone in the theatre were cheering.

I did'nt see any alien Kung-Fu. What Scriv said is total bollocks. The aliens are just very, very agile; as they've always been.

I didn't see any human jumping across a 20' chasm. It was more like 6-8'. An average human; especially for Alexa who is a fit climber, can easily jump 3x their height laterally.

** SPOILER alert - Highlight the text to read it **

The last predator jumping across the chasm with Alexa, did in fact land ahead of her. And while she did drop; he didn't. Besides, he had an alien inside of him, he was injured and a bit banged up. Makes sense to me that he won't have leaped much farther than she did.

The part where he makes her a spear and shield (from an alien's head), was well done. This smart predator figured that he was on his own; and if you buy the human/alien relationship in the story, you can see why it was an easy decision for him to help Alexa. Especially when in fact she made the first gesture of friendship, by giving him the only Plasmacaster available.

9/10

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah I have to agree with SC. I went into this thinking it was going to be garbage but when you have a 13 year old daughter and an 11 year old son and the movie is PG-13 you get a lot of, "When can we see it?" begging and whining *snickers*.

This movie was fun. When the Aliens and the Predators fight you find yourself picking sides early. After years of humanity getting their butts kicked byt the Aliens my family was firmly behind the Predators. The humans are actually comic relief, I didn't care that they were getting wiped out but I did think, "Yeah!" when Weyland's right hand man opened his case and the machine guns dropped out. If there is one guy I was sorry to see go it was him, even if he did bring the pain on the humans to begin with. He went out in style though so you have to appreciate that.

You also have to appreciate the way in which they did the movie. They pushed the boundaries of the PG-13 rating but did not leave me feeling like I was some degenerate dad for taking my eleven year old to see this. We laughed and munched on popcorn and cheered when the one Pred, swung that Alien into the pillars of the temple. That was CLASSIC.

This was not highbrow, this was not the graphic novels or even the video game. This was different and I didn't feel as if I had been cheated. Let's face it Alexa was not tough on the eyes and Alien movies are known for their female leads. The male lead in this film was an assembly of Predators that were engaged in the hunt as a rite of passage.

The only thing that blew in my opinion was the ending and I just thought it was weak from a perspective of feasibility and plot. If they can detect aliens within bodies by looking and scanning they obviously KNEW that their fallen comrade was infected. ALSO what was ith that STRETCHER? They should have simply dragged the body of the fallen Predator onto the ship... I *snickered* when I saw them hussle him off on that stretcher.

Don't look for great insight into the lore of Aliens or Predator... all this movie is about is KICKING BUTT and fulfilling our wish of seeing our "What if?" scenario on the big screen.

Enjoy.

8/10

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You really can't expect a videogame like AvP to accurately portray the universe. I mean, I'm *always* for realism - but most game companies don't give a rats hairless tail for making a game realistic. Whatever they can do to sell it to the most people they can.

Anyhoo, AvP the movie really can't be considered canonical alien or predator material. Hopefully it does well enough that James Cameron is given the funding for his Alien 5 dream. There's a writer/director I have faith in.

If this were any other franchise I would just ignore it. The fact that this is an Alien movie (Not a big fan of Predator) is what irks me. This has nothing to do with the other films. As far as the movies, comics, and games are concerned - this is a disaster.

You might enjoy AvP if you fit any of the following criteria:

1) You really, really, really like explosions.

2) You've never seen the Alien or Predator movies.

3) You've not only seen the other movies, you're a blind overzealous fanboi of either franchise who gobbles up any Alien or Predator bone that the Fox marketing dept throws your way.

4) You're not old enough to get into Collateral without a parent.

5) You don't speak english and therefore can't understand any of the dialogue.

6) You don't like to think about the movies you watch.

Let me put it this way - if I turned in the AvP script for my scriptwritng class, I would fail. It was amateur on the level of a grade school student who watches too much Dragonball Z. I don't think Paul Anderson is a bad director. He's just a very very very very very bad writer. I have never seen a movie as unintentionally funny as this was.

Visually, there were some interesting bits that seemed polished and had relatively good design sense. The real problem was the content.

AvP was a veritable smorgasboard of scenes from other, better movies. It could have been a great Spaceballs-esque comedy if it didn't take itself so deadly serious. IMO, it was really, honestly, truly that bad.

What the critics are saying:

"Whoever wins, we lose. Thank you, Fox, for the truth in your advertising."

"Alien vs. Predator is a cool-looking lunchbox that's full of rocks."

"Alien Vs. Predator isnÔÇÖt the worst movie of 2004, but it is the most blatant exploit of a franchise, and maybe that is worse."

"Quite possibly the worst film of the year...a real stinker."

"Unintentional laughs outnumber legitimate scares."

"Going from the noisily routine to the ludicrous, AVP's final reel or so are likely to produce howls."

And the list just keeps on going...

Need more nfo? Check out the collected reviews at RottenTomatoes.com -> Has there even been so much hate directed at one film? I'd bet not.

IMO, you've really got to able to overlook a lot to enjoy the movie as anything but the best MST3000 episode ever.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Hellbinder[CE]

oook.. I am honestly shocked that you guys liked the movie..

its down to 9% on Rottentomatoes for cryiong out loud.. now that is really bad...

But.. I guess everyone has different tastes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

quote:


Originally posted by Takvah:

and cheered when the one Pred, swung that Alien into the pillars of the temple. That was CLASSIC.


Yeah, that was totally kick-ass.

quote:


This was not highbrow, this was not the graphic novels or even the video game. This was different and I didn't feel as if I had been cheated.

Exactly. This movie apparently pre-dates the earlier movies and the games; so they had to make it different; and I like how they did it.

quote:


The male lead in this film was an assembly of Predators that were engaged in the hunt as a rite of passage.

Yeah. And I liked how they were totally bad-ass. I did'nt like how the predators started killing the humans though. It didn't make sense, given the back story.

quote:


The only thing that blew in my opinion was the ending and I just thought it was weak from a perspective of feasibility and plot. If they can detect aliens within bodies by looking and scanning they obviously KNEW that their fallen comrade was infected.

I too thought it was odd at first. Then it occured to me that with the site on Earth now wiped out, they now had an alien they could seed elsewhere. So they actually knew that he had an alien in him. Which means that if there is a sequel, it could start on the ship or at their destination.

quote:


ALSO what was ith that STRETCHER? They should have simply dragged the body of the fallen Predator onto the ship... I *snickered* when I saw them hussle him off on that stretcher.

They did the same thing in Predator 2 I think. And again, that too ended with the predators leaving Danny Glover alone (not harming him, I mean).

quote:


Don't look for great insight into the lore of Aliens or Predator... all this movie is about is KICKING BUTT and fulfilling our wish of seeing our "What if?" scenario on the big screen.


YEAH!!!! I'm going to go see it again before it ends its runs.

ps: Who else thinks the predator's ship looks curiously like a Stormcarrier?

EDIT: I think Rebecca Murray said it best

IÔÇÖve seen the ÔÇ£AlienÔÇØ movies (liked the first and second, hated the third and fourth) and I liked the first ÔÇ£PredatorÔÇØ film. But I just didnÔÇÖt understand what got the geek boys all shivery when it came to any mention of ÔÇ£Alien vs. Predator.ÔÇØ I wasnÔÇÖt anxiously awaiting its release. IÔÇÖve never in my life launched into a lengthy discussion of why the ÔÇ£AvPÔÇØ action takes place in a pyramid hundreds of feet below Antarctica. And I really didnÔÇÖt care about any potential plot holes or storyline incongruities that may emerge in ÔÇ£AvP.ÔÇØ To me, itÔÇÖs just a movie.

Stupid fanboys.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...