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Movies - Bloodrayne


Kevin Trotter
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My gosh but the trailer for this one is bad even by Uwe standards, It is so bad I refuse to link it..it would be like buying liquor for minors. I saw it on tv last night and it was like a baaaad SciFi Channel original. Good Lord this man has to be stopped!

[ 01-07-2006, 04:29 PM: Message edited by: Supreme Cmdr ]

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Sir Scrivener is going to have a field day with this one.

quote:

the CGI blood looks too campy and fake.

on the bright side

quote:

Another highlight to the film is the amount of blood that gets drained. Every single time there's a vampire bite we see chunks of flesh fly off and blood spilling everywhere. There are tons of throats slit and stomachs slashed open,

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Guest Grayfox

quote:

Sir Scrivener is going to have a field day with this one.


actually i wouldnt be surprised if he decides not to sully his hands with it...

but if he does, i want a front row seat to the beatdown

what really gets me is how this guy can get ben kingsly into this movie... im talking ben fricken kingsley!!! was he that hard up for a gig???

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IMDb: BloodRayne

quote:

Although there's lots of gore and decent swordplay, this was mostly entertainment by accidental comedy, but not enough to make it worth checking out. Here's some examples: Billy Zane's first scene has him doing what seems to be a bad William Shatner impression. I couldn't stop chuckling, even in front of the filmmakers themselves. I didn't care, really. I haven't seen Zane do an impressive performance since the underrated "Demon Knight".

Madsen belongs in this movie as much as Carrot Top belongs in "Amadeus". He makes it obvious that he's really bored and is just waiting for his paycheck.

Sir Ben Kingsley must have done something horrible to deserve this. An Oscar winner from "Gandhi" and "Schindler's List" should not be doing movies like "Bloodrayne", "A Sound of Thunder", or "Thunderbirds". What's next? Sir Anthony Hopkins in "Baby Geniuses 3"? Here's something you'll find hilarious without having to see it... Michelle Rodriguez puts on a British accent. I know I know, it's hard to believe. That's like Patrick Stewart playing a redneck.

Meat Loaf is just silly in this one. He looks like Ben Franklin, covered in naked women who seem like non-actors, while acting like a pretentious goth boy who thinks he's a vampire. I liked him better when he had his '#$%#-#$%$#' in "Fight Club".

Oddly enough, the most convincing actor in the movie is Kristanna Loken. She looks the part and under-acts in a sea of hammy over-actors. Udo Keir also did well, considering the film he's in. Man, it's rare to find Udo in a non-comedy where he doesn't get murdered. Poor guy.


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I just saw it and it wasn't half bad. Then again, I went in with no expectations. Its no more worst than any other big budget rubbish that we've subjected to in one long Summer or another.

I thought the gore was over the top and foolish. He couldn've toned it down (ala LOTR) and still been a decent movie.

Kristanna Loken did fit the part and she was actually quite good. All the other performances are easily forgettable.

Maybe Uwe is getting better. Who knows. Now I can't wait to see how Dungeon Siege turns out.

6/10

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Yeah, but not at the theatre though. I saw it online at Apple.com I think. It looks OK I guess.

OMG!! Looks like Uwe has his worst bomb ever. Bloodrayne only made $1m at the box office over the opening weekend.

[ 01-09-2006, 07:42 AM: Message edited by: Supreme Cmdr ]

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I wasn't going to touch this one... but if you all want my review that much I might just have to go endure it.

I'll make a masochistic weekend of it and double feature this with the gay cowboy movie. It's too bad The New World isn't opening till the 20th, since I might be inclined to commit seppuku afterward.

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Guest Hellbinder[CE]

Why do these companys keep giving him game based movie products when all he does is destroy one after the next?

What has he done that was successfull?

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While beating an already catatonic horse and shamefully ganking from Game Cloud

"Variety reports that the movie was supposed to be in 1,912 theaters but was only shown in 985. Also, Shacknews reports through an unnamed source at a film theater that 5,500 prints of the movie were made and sent to theaters by mistake which of course adds to the cost of the film."

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  • 4 months later...
  • 3 weeks later...

Hey, remember me? It's like I fell off the face of the earth or something. In reality, I've just been busy as hell.

So anyway, I Netflixed this thinking "Even if it is Uwe Boll, the blood and boobies have got to make this worth it."

Oh God, was I wrong. I never knew movies could be so terrible. It's like my TV was streaming an invisible pain beam right into my eye sockets. The actors all give the worst peformances of their careers. Ben Kingsley... how could you? The editing is rubbish and the plot makes no sense whatsoever. It was plain to see, written on every frame of this film is Uwe Bolls complete and utter lack of talent, imagination, and skill. To be honest, I never even finished watching it. I saw some completely random sex scene, then the mail lady showed up and I stuffed it back in it's sleeve and sent it off so I wouldn't have to keep the DVD for another day.

0/10

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LOL

Nothing like reducing yourself to a bubbling puddle of fecal material

If you want to continue... try H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. No, not the one with Tom Cruise and Tim Robbins. This one had some no name actor in the lead role and a bit part by a very young Gary Bussey. I bet he cringes just thinking about it.

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