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Playing Catch-up with some older movies


John Prezioso
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Okay - the wife and kids went up north to visit the grandparents for 4 weeks. My workplace shut down for a week, putting me out of work for that time. I have very little leisure money. So what shall I do?

Well, one thing I've come up with is to go through the movie reviews here @ 3000AD and find some movie gems I missed the first time around, rent them, and watch them over and over.

So far, on my short list are 'Serenity' and 'Equilibrium'. These two have garnered overwhelmingly positive reviews from all here, and being the out-of-touch loser that I am, I haven't seen either. (I have NO geek cred, I know...)

In addition, I was thinking of renting some real stinkers just for one and having my own little impromptu MST3K session. On the list of mind-suckingly bad films to watch are... everything released By Uwe "Toilet" Bowle. It's a short list, but I'm taking recommendations.

Anyway, if anyone has some other cheap, entertaining, or just plain stupid ideas (don't think I won't try them), let me know. Now off to the Hollywood Video I go!!!!!!!!!

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Get some crime scene tape and place it in strategic locations like the front door area, kids room/s door, etc etc. Make a chalk outline of a body on the front walk or in a room or wherever the family would ingress first.

If you really want to get in dutch, dig a bomb crater in the middle of the front yard, then feign ignorance as to it's prescence and how it got there.

Get the homecoming on tape. It might be good enough for AFV.

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Just about anything Steven Seagal has done since 2003 would qualify. The awful rendering of Ray Bradbury's "A Sound of Distant Thunder" is easily the worst rendtion of great source material. Also I just reread "The Sound and the Fury" BY Wm Faulkner , a great novel ..and then saw the movie. It is a super stinker with Yul Brenner playing the lead role of a Southern Patriarch even though he has a thick German accent and bad toupe`. One of the worst movies ever.

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My vote for a good, 'bad' movie would be River's Edge.

I don't know why, but I always keep coming back to this one, I have to watch it every couple of years.

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quote:


Originally posted by Wolferz:

Get some crime scene tape and place it in strategic locations like the front door area, kids room/s door, etc etc. Make a chalk outline of a body on the front walk or in a room or wherever the family would ingress first.

If you really want to get in dutch, dig a bomb crater in the middle of the front yard, then feign ignorance as to it's prescence and how it got there.

Get the homecoming on tape. It might be good enough for AFV.


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So many ideas, so little time...

Well actually, as I stated before, I have nothing but time. So now where did I put that shovel? Need too get digging - thanks for the ideas Wolferz!

As far as the treasure hunter story, as I was reading it for a second there I thought I was reading a snippet from the future biography about me. And I thought I was the only one who got himself into stuff like that!

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Anyway, as far as my movie adventures go, I can't wait to find a copy of "The Sound and the Fury"; had no idea that was so bad! And agreed on "Tank Girl" - that was so deliciously awful that it actually flipped over to being good at some point. "River's Edge", huh? Gonna have to check that one out, too. I'm trusting you that it's as bad as you say, Case - don't let me down.

Others - Well the 3D suggestion is pretty ironic, because I actually was looking for copy of "Jaws 3" while I was there at the Hollywood Video the other day. Didn't find it though. Now there was a stupidity-inducing flick... they REALLY needed to stop after Jaws 2. I ended up getting 'Elektra'( ACK!!!! My eyes! Its badness knows no bounds. I loved it!) and "Alone in the Dark." (Words just fail me. And most of you know that rarely happens. Holy Suckitude!TM)

As far as what else I've seen so far, I caught two movies that I had in my "catch-up" category. One was "Wolf Creek", and the other was "Hostel". The former was slow starting but later intensely disturbing. I think I liked it though. Mick was one crazy but strangely likeable psychopath. And "Hostel"... well, let's just say that I think our boy Quentin wasn't paid enough attention as a kid. Who the hell thinks this stuff up? I DID watch the whole thing - so I guess it couldn't have been that bad... It did make me feel dirty after I watched it, though...Kinda like playing "Manhunt".

Next on the list - 'Equilibrium'. That'll be tonight. And, if I have time, 'Ishtar'. I hope I am prepared.

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Prez,

I am interested to see how long you last on your marathon of 'b' movies.

Never heard of River's Edge? You are in for a treat, Keanu, Crispin Glover, Dennis Hopper... The scary thing is, I know it's bad, but I find myself just LOVING IT, I'm not quite sure what it is about it.

Came across this for you if you run out of suggestions from your fellow Commanders.

http://www.thestinkers.com/100stinkers.html

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quote:

Worlds shortest movie review..done by that Bushy haired guy on the Today show when Ishtar first opened. " Simply put Ishtar ish-Terrible"


Really - it was horrendous. I'm starting to wonder if I'm man enough to endure this non-stop badness for much longer.

Equilibrium was pretty spectacular, btw.

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Wow... let me tell you. I just got back from the optometrist - my eyes were starting to bleed from the movies I had been watching.

Starship Troopers 2 - Egads, what crap! Then, I actually watched "Barb Wire" thinking that somehow some of the badness would be offset by the cleavage and the bondage gear. Boy was I wrong.

Luckily, I watched "Serenity" and basked in its brilliance, so I have a little more tolerance for crap. I also caught "Munich", and I have to say it was a smart, thought-provoking film.

Back to the video store tomorrow. I plan on getting 'The Hills Have Eyes', '16 Blocks', and another randomly selected craptacular film. I'm thinking about 'Wild Things 2' - I heard it sucked succulently. But thinking of Bruce Willis in '16 Blocks'' reminded me I never saw 'Hudson Hawk', so that's a possibility.

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Meh, wasn't too inpressed with '16 Blocks'. Does Mos Def really talk like that? I wanted to stick pointy things in my ears after about an hour of hearing him.

'The Hills Have Eyes' was deliciously repulsive. It was a little TOO over the top for me, but all in all I enjoyed it. Which makes me start to wonder about myself.

Anyway, my craptacular flick for the day is "Anaconda- Hunt For some orchard thingie". I'm sure it will be as bad as I'm expecting.

While I was perusing the racks, I saw a film called "Good Night and Good Luck", and remembered I hadn't seen it yet. I'll probably get that on my next trip.

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I have to admit, I never saw that one. I'll put it on the list. The last movies I watched were "Saw 2" (not bad; certainly better than I was expecting), Ring 2 (awful) and Resident Evil Apocalypse (ridiculous, but fun).

Next up tonight, if I have time, is 'Syriana'. Not sure if I'm going to like this one or not, seeing as how George Clooney is in it and I despise him, but we'll see.

Oh, and my IQ officially and permanently dropped 100 points for watching the travesty titled "Anacondas - Hunt for the Worst B Movie Ever". Atrocious!!!! Next up in the never-ending crap quest are 'Hudson Hawk' and "The Last Action Hero", starring the Governator. This is really starting to wear me down. Must... carry...on... cannot...stop...

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