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Ten Things I Hate About BC3K (a joke, relax)


Guest aramike01
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Guest aramike01

Things are so slow around here lately so I'd thought I'd try and break the silence with some misc. BC3K stuff. Of course the following is simply a joke and if anyone takes it any other way (I don't see how) they should seek help in the "Lighten Up" School of Common Sense.

  • Acronyms- "Don't think about shooting me with your IOD 'cause I'll FATAL and PTA your ass until your DOA. I'll watch you go boom in my CVD and LMAO until my ICV has to RTB after our stint at CAP is finished.

  • Takes my free time away-just ask my wife and you'll get the following response: "Don't you get me started!" And trust me, you'd better heed those words of wisdom- if you don't, well, just don't break eye contact and pray for some lighting to strike you down or something.

  • Enemies.

  • Lot's of 'em.

  • All aiming (successfully) at me.

  • "I'm picking up an IFF signal from that target, Kara." This usually only comes after I maim and enemy intent upon the destruction of my ship and crew. So I response I shout (in my head, of course. I'd be crazy to do so aloud...), "Shut the **** up! That ******-****** was trying to blow my ******* ship up and you want me to ******* stop shooting at the rat-*******!? I'm about ten ******* seconds from throwing your silly *** out of the ******* airlock!"

  • Intruders- These guys I really hate. I'm usually in the middle of a rather hectic battle when they come aboard. And all my officers are off duty so no one directly informs me as to their presence. Before I know it I have no shuttles, no medics, and no hair. Oh, and my marines are watching some cheap B-movie near the transporter room when these guys beam on. Not to be disturbed, the marines tell Mr. Intruder to quiet down and ask the nearest computer terminal for directions to the nearest shuttle. Also, these guys amaze me: they come aboard and immediately try to get off the BC (shuttle 2, fueled, waiting for Mr. Bond). I try to tell them that it would be so much easier to not come aboard but they don't listen to me. Just my marines when they give the baddies directions.

  • The ground- No matter what I'm trying to accomplish during surface ops, the ground always seems to find my IC, SH, and my ass. Luckily, my ATV is seemingly immune to this problem but I'm skeptical as to whether or not that will remain true. (can you say earthquake?).

  • Those darned "Space Pot-holes". You know what I'm talking about, don't you? No? Fine, whatever...

  • The final object of my hatred- That damn journalist that, for some reason, couldn't see that huge BC looming closer and closer and he made his way to the nearest jump point. Oh, and btw, that BC was on it's way back to Spectre HQ for repairs to it's heavily damaged...ummm...everything.

------------------

Cmdr. Michael Kristophers

Spectre Fleet

Commanding Officer, Spectre StarStation

ICV-Intrepid

Recruitment Officer

"You won't get the Purple Heart hiding in a foxhole!"

[This message has been edited by aramike01 (edited 06-06-2000).]

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ROTFLMSAO!

*Falls of his chair hitting his head off the fire extinguisher behind him*

Ouch! smile.gif

------------------

Commander Robert Martin

GCV-Dark Knight

Prime Fleet

S26 Commander, Beta Wing

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LOL mike good one. wink.gif

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Cmdr. Antilles

Spectre Fleet

Spectre Starstation

ICV- Eclipse

Chief Security Officer

Learning is not compulsory... Neither is survival.

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LOL Aramike! That was one GREAT peace of comical relief smile.gif! Now I am going to have to come up with somting too biggrin.gif!

Anyway, great story again!!!

See ya!

------------------

Cmdr. Chris Alan Blair

Spectre Fleet

Spectre Starstation

ICV-Ticonderoga

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Gee, thanks Aramike, I woke my entire family up this morning reading that.. smile.gif

------------------

Cmdr. Parias

Spectre Fleet

Chief Engineer, Starstation Destiny

ICV-Galatae

ICQ:1293359

Staff member at HardNews

"Next time you're passing by and feel like dropping in, keep passing by untill you get to a river, and THEN drop in." -Jake Logan

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Beautiful! I love it! **Rotflmaopimp** And I thought...(long pause, muffled giggle then turns back to everyone with a sincere smile on her face) You gentlemen are quite the riot! I Wish I had your talent! biggrin.gif

All my friends keep telling me I have no sense of humor whatsoever. Ces la guerre I suppose. rolleyes.gif

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AKUMA MINAKO

ORION FLEET

GCV- TENCHI

DETERRENCE BATTLE GROUP

www.orion-hq.fsnet.co.uk

"War is the plague of Mankind, created by Mankind."

[This message has been edited by Akuma Minako (edited 06-06-2000).]

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Whoah! Who the heck is this guy Pandora that's posting here? Surely not the Lead Tester of the Battlecruiser Series! wink.gif

Welcome back Pan, Long time no post!

------------------

Rattler, Insurgent One

Commander-In-Chief,

Insurgency

Official Tester

Battlecruiser Series

[email protected]

ICQ 12894104

"Arise, Old Insurgents,

Long dead but eternal in time and space.

Forgive us NOT for what we do,

We merely take your place!" - Rattler

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well hello Pan. I've not seen you post but have sure heard alot about you : Don't worry it's all good smile.gif

------------------

Cmdr. Antilles

Spectre Fleet

Spectre Starstation

ICV- Eclipse

Chief Security Officer

Learning is not compulsory... Neither is survival.

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Good to hear from you again Pan!

------------------

Cmdr. Parias

Spectre Fleet

Chief Engineer, Starstation Destiny

ICV-Galatae

ICQ:1293359

Staff member at HardNews

"Next time you're passing by and feel like dropping in, keep passing by untill you get to a river, and THEN drop in." -Jake Logan

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