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Bud Abbott and Lou Costello Today


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ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store... Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking

about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend office with windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, let's just say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do

I need?

ABBOTT: word.

COSTELLO: what word?

ABBOTT: word in office.

COSTELLO: the only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: the word in office for windows.

COSTELLO: which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: the word you get when you click the blue "W"

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue w if you don't start with some straight answers.. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOTT: yes, you want Real One.

COSTELLO: maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: if it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?

ABBOTT: of course.

COSTELLO: great, with what?

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

ABBOTT: you click the blue "1"

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOTT: the blue "1".

COSTELLO: is that different from the blue w?

ABBOTT: the blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is word.

COSTELLO: what word?

ABBOTT: the word in office for windows.

COSTELLO: but there's three words in office for windows!

ABBOTT: no, just one. but it's the most popular Word in the world

COSTELLO: it is?

ABBOTT: yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other words out there.

COSTELLO: and that word is real one?

ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.

COSTELLO: stop! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping, you have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: that's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: it comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: what's bundled to my computer?

ABBOTT: Money

COSTELLO: money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: one copy

COSTELLO: isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: they can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: why not, they own it.

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Yeah one of my friends in the IT department does these routines all the time... the end of that one is pretty chilling though

Micro$oft

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quote:

Originally posted by Race Bannon IV:

My God Jag you have a sense of humor. That was pretty good though you may have to explain the cultural reference of "who's on first" to the under 30 crowd. Where did you get that?

Yes, I do have a sense of humor...LOL

And I actually got that in an e-mail from a friend of mine who is on too many joke lists to list, and he goes through them and sends the best ones on to me.

It's good to have an editor...LOL

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