Guest $iLk Posted April 14, 2004 Report Share Posted April 14, 2004 Borrowed from Ben Shapiro on TownHall.com quote: FADE IN EXT. CAPITOL BUILDING -- DAY It's Jan. 20, 2001, Inauguration Day for George W. Bush. Outgoing President Bill Clinton stands outside the Capitol Building speaking with Clarke. CLARKE Well, Mr. President, it's been a long haul, and a good one. Thanks for your courage and bravery fighting Osama Bin Laden and his evil band. CLINTON No, all the praise should go to you, ol' buddy. If we hadn't gotten sidetracked by that silly sex scandal, I would have taken out Al Qaeda. I was just buildin' up to it. They didn't give me enough time. CLARKE I know, Mr. President. It was just about sex. And those close-minded prudes ... FLASH to grainy photo of Kenneth Starr and then back to Clarke. CLARKE (tears rolling down his face) ... just didn't let you do the job for which you were elected. Well, so long, Mr. President. (They embrace.) I'll never forget what you've done for our country. FADE TO: WHITE HOUSE CORRIDOR -- DAY Richard Clarke and Condoleezza Rice are walking to a meeting with President Bush. CLARKE (vehemently) Condi, this is stuff you need to pay attention to. Look, Osama Bin Laden and Al Qaeda are setting up sleeper cells in this country. RICE (with a puzzled expression) Who? CLARKE (exasperated, disbelievingly) You know, Al Qaeda? They attacked us in 1993? They bombed the USS Cole? RICE (still looking puzzled) Oh, you mean Saddam? Iraq? CLARKE No! Osama Bin Laden. Clinton knew who he was! You should, too! Time is running out! Who knows, they might even hijack airplanes and hit the World Trade Centers and Pentagon, say around the second week in September! RICE (laughing) Sure, and Enron will collapse, too. CUT TO: CLARKE'S OFFICE -- DAY Clarke is at his desk. He's leafing through a stack of papers, when one catches his eye. The title of the memo is "Bin Laden Determined to Strike U.S." Clarke leaps to his feet, then runs out of his office. CUT TO: OVAL OFFICE -- DAY Clarke runs into the Oval Office, breathless. President Bush sits at his desk, playing Mario Bros. on his Game Boy. CLARKE (breathlessly) Mr. President, my suspicions have been confirmed. I've warned you -- WARNED YOU! -- that Osama was planning something big. BUSH (puzzled) Who? CLARKE (exasperated) Bin Laden! How many times do I have to tell you people?! BUSH (laughs) Osama is a funny word. Osama, Kerbama, Romama, Yurmama, Cherbama, Blamgama, Pajama ... Clarke storms out as Bush continues to babble mindlessly. FADE TO: Video of Sept. 11 World Trade Center attacks. V.O. of news anchors reporting the attacks. CUT TO: INT. CABINET ROOM BUSH (to Clarke) This was Saddam. CLARKE Mr. President, there's no evidence of that. This looks like the work of Al Qaeda and Osama Bin Laden. BUSH Don't lie to me, Richie. You're either with us, or against us. This was done by Saddam. He tried to kill my daddy, and I'm gonna make that sucker pay. CLARKE Mr. President, there's no evidence that Saddam had anything to do with this! I've been warning you about Osama for months! BUSH (begins to suck his thumb, petulantly) Well, fine, if you say so. But try to find out how Saddam's involved. Do I at least get to bomb somebody? Somebody Muslim? I hate those ragheads. They don't believe in my favorite philosopher, Jesus. (proudly) That's what Pat and Jerry told me. Vice President Cheney enters the room. CHENEY (soothingly) I'll take it from here, George. You go back to playing with your blocks. And, yes, we get to bomb somebody. Cheney puts his arm around Bush and smiles evilly. FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supreme Cmdr Posted April 14, 2004 Report Share Posted April 14, 2004 LMAO!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Trotter Posted April 14, 2004 Report Share Posted April 14, 2004 It's too close to the truth to be funny, at least the Gameboy part... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fox__Trot Posted April 19, 2004 Report Share Posted April 19, 2004 Wait a second that reminds me of resnig... Bush as Resnig Clarke as (You're commanders name here) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now