Guest Posted December 23, 2004 Report Share Posted December 23, 2004 Dear Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa ____________________________________________________________________ Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa _________________________________________________________________ Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do? Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Santa >__________________________________________________________________ Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay; I'll set you up with a Barbie. Santa _________________________________________________________________ Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan > Dear Susan, Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch. Santa ________________________________________________________________ Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas > Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa >________________________________________________________________ Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa >________________________________________________________________ Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy Timmy, That whiney begging crap may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa >________________________________________________________________ Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky > Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house; you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Remo Williams Posted December 23, 2004 Report Share Posted December 23, 2004 LMAO! Oh man those were classic! Thanks I needed that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freyar Posted December 23, 2004 Report Share Posted December 23, 2004 Awesome stuff... Thanks! I always love things like this. Sounded like the SC and Strongbad wrote those replies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DennyMala Posted December 23, 2004 Report Share Posted December 23, 2004 ROTFLMAO!!! I like that style... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Remo Williams Posted December 24, 2004 Report Share Posted December 24, 2004 Sort of reminds me of lowjack LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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