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USA Vs PRC Part Deux: The Aftermath


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Since I dont give a dang about serious stuff, here's a collection of spoofs/reactions and stuff that I've seen on other forums about all this:


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To: Chinese Premier Dung (a.k.a. - Heep)

From: American President George W. Bush

The United States is truly sorry that your nation is not capable of training your pilots to fly without striking other aircraft. Especially large, slow, propeller-driven aircraft incapable of maneuvering quickly in order to avoid reckless pilots. We are also sorry that you people lack the honor to respect the international laws governing collision avoidance between aircraft when flying in international airspace. We further regret that you cannot be trusted to respect the integrity of sovereign aircraft forced at gun point to land on your soil after your inept pilot forced a collision.

Indeed, we are extremely sorry we cannot confirm that this pilot (using that term loosely) and his aircraft actually did plummet into the Pacific. Unfortunately, we have only your word, which based upon your actions, isn't worth Won.

The bottom line Mr. Premier, we truly regret the state of incompetence currently being demonstrated and ignorantly adhered to by the People's Dictatorship of China. That being said, you are holding our servicemen hostage, illegally. You are holding our aircraft, illegally. I am sorry to inform you that all your Ambassadors, aides, businessmen, and students currently residing in the United States will have their visas revoked at midnight tonight. I am also sorry to inform you that all Chinese assets in the United States are now frozen and will remain so until further notice. I am sorry to inform Beanie Baby collectors that all imports from the PDC will be halted. All foreign aid monies to the PDC and all IMF etc., funds are cancelled.

On the other hand, I am certainly not sorry to announce that sales of advanced technology military equipment to the Republic of Taiwan will be increased and accelerated. Nor am I sorry to announce that two additional carrier battle groups are being assigned to patrol the waters off the coasts of the PDC. For your information, U.S. Navy pilots from these carrier groups will be happy to demonstrate the proper procedure for not ramming into aircraft in international airspace. Please do not be surprised, however, when you notice some of these aircraft may not have propellers. And do not be surprised if one or two of your aircraft get shot out of the sky if they approach our carrier group aircraft in the same manner that your errant pilot approached our unarmed EP-3.

I'm sure I can think of more things to do if I don't have my airmen and airplane returned by midnight, tonight. Personally, this is the kind of apology I've been wanting to give you since learning of your unholy, underhanded, and deceitful alliance with my predecessor. You remember, your #1 friend, Biw Crinton. Thank you for affording me this opportunity so soon in my term. Just think, we have nearly four full years (and maybe even eight years) to continue nurturing our relationship.

Your new #1 friend,

GW.

P.S. If you want your pandas back just send one of your military transports to retrieve them.


http://downloads.redjupiter.com/users/imag...pysatellite.gif


They said Easter might be cancelled due to tensions in the international community... here's the real reason! http://www.btinternet.com/~snaffers/bits/pic06334.jpg


US Apology #1 http://content.communities.msn.com/isapi/fetch.dll?action =view_photo&ID_Community=MMPAviation&ID_Topic=2&ID_Message=4


As CNN said, its all about the way you word your apology.. here's a 1st draft of the apology.. in Chinese. http://www.screaminbluemessiahs.org/image/chinese21.jpg



The TRUTH as to why the Crew have been returned:

"The US Gov't knew it was a matter of time before Jesse Jackson would step in and try to negotiate an end to the situation. The US Gov't told the Chi-Coms that the US would be giving Jesse a one-way ticket, and his admittance back into the US would be refused, thus making China a Hostage of J.J."


Got any? post em here

[ 04-12-2001: Message edited by: Tac ]

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Good ones Tac, LOL! Here's one, with all due credit to "Carnom" from the VoodooExtreme comment forums.. and further credit to the person who made this in the first place:

quote:

In an heroic dogfight fought over International waters off the mainland-China coast, a 60's-era American-built Lockheed Electra propeller-airliner, with 24 US Navy passenger/observers aboard, chewed up one of China's finest state-of-the-art supersonic fighter aircraft.

The Americans, utilizing the infrequently recorded combat tactic of straight and level flight, often accomplished by relying solely on autopilot, engaged the outmanned single-seat combat jet and knocked it out of the air using only one of its four formidable rotating air-mass propellers.

After the action, the crew and passenger/observers diverted to nearby China's Hainan Island Resort for some much-deserved R&R as guests of the Chinese government.

Reprinted from the Taiwan Daily Gazette, by staff-writer Won Weng Lo.

[ 04-12-2001: Message edited by: Parias ]

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I loved the one written in chinese characters. Its very well done, the characters there seem to be real ones (I recognize a few at least).

BTW, heard the name of the F8 pilot was Wong Wei? Wong Wei.. Wrong Way.. get it? get it?

*cymbals ding*

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Yeah, the US pilots were saying on the radios "WRONG WAY, WRONG WAYYYYY" (he was flying closer and closer to the right) and he thought that they were calling him "WONG WEIY, WONG WEIIIII"

[ 04-13-2001: Message edited by: Soback ]

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I was listening to the radio today, and this is what our defense guy (Rumfeld?) said. He wanted to get the US's stand about the incident on record.

He said, "the collison between the Chinese jet and our Ep-3 was an accident, there was no way that the chinese pilot would, on Purpose, stick his horizontal stabilizer into the propeller of our EP-3."

I was laughing so hard, I actually had to pull over and stop!!

It was hilarious, I am SO glad that our adminiatration is not afraid to show a sense of humor!!!

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How can American be critical of countries for their BAD human right abuses when the racist police in this country kill/beat/target the minority every single day?

I take back my comment the other day about American teaching China a lesson. That was totally wrong, America have any right to do that, who's going to teach the U.S about human right abuses?

I'm pissed not just at the crap in Cincinnati. People need to wake up and realize the country they're living in is not as perfect as they think.

"I believe that everything you do bad comes back to you. So everything that I do that's bad, I'm going to suffer for it. But in my heart, I believe what I'm doin gi sirght. So I feel like I'm going to heaven"

TGupac Shakur, June 1996

[ 04-14-2001: Message edited by: SpacePhish ]

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First Off, Spacephish, Yeah, in Cincinatti they are pissed, but I think the dumbest thing they could have done was destroy their own neighborhood. Are these people really this stupid? Anger is one thing, but a mob mentality like that, it's just stupid!!

They have my sympathy for the shooting, but they do not have my sympathy for the rioting,

Stuff happens, and people REALLY should NOT run from the police!!

This country is not perfect, but with freedom comes responsibility, to follow the laws, and NOT run from the police!!

OK, on to other things, here's a new letter making it's way across the internet.

quote:

The United States of America apologizes to the People's Republic of

China for allowing our slow, lumbering reconnaissance plane to be hit by your poorly trained, hot-dogging fighter pilot, while flying in international airspace.

We're sorry we have to fly surveillance missions to monitor a country that has nuclear missiles pointed at us.

We're sorry your pilot didn't follow international standards of

fighter intercept protocol.

We're sorry his aircraft recognition skills were so poor he didn't

realize the EP-3 aircraft was propeller driven and flew his aircraft

through its propeller arc, destroying his aircraft and nearly killing

24 American crewmen.

We're sorry your fighter pilot's survival training and equipment was so inadequate that he couldn't survive until your poorly trained and equipped navy could find him (they turned down our offer for search and rescue assistance).

We're sorry you violated international law and arrested the crewmen of an aircraft that legally diverted into your airfield under

emergency conditions caused by your pilot's actions, after being led there by one of your other pilots.

We're sorry you violated international law and boarded a state aircraft.

We're sorry the world is now seeing you for the enemy of freedom, truth, and democracy that you really are.

We're sorry you see yourself as a superpower when in reality you are a third world nation (the average Chinese worker earns less than $.10 a day).

We're sorry you are losing so much face over this.

We're sorry that you were able to steal some missile and nuclear secrets from us.

We're sorry you haven't learned from the Soviet Union's collapse and failed to embrace democracy and capitalism (compare tiny Taiwan and mainland China; same people, same culture, but Taiwan's capitalistic

economy is a powerhouse and China's economy is still mired in communism).

We're sorry for the future Chinese military deaths that will occur when we retaliate for your roughish behavior.

And most of all, we're sorry for the Chinese people who suffer its leaders' incompetence.

Sincerely,

Citizen of the United States of America

P.S. If a speed boat goes out to inspect a cruise ship and they collide, who do you think is at fault?

That says it pretty good if you ask me!! lol

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  • 2 weeks later...

The American spindoctors worked overtime on the spyplane issue when they said that it was over international waters. That may have been true, but consider this.

The Chinese were not demanding an apology for the invasion of Chinese waters, they demanded an apology for the invasion of Chinese AIRSPACE. Water and airspace boundaries are different because planes travel faster than ships.

The Chinese pilot that was killed in the accident was trying to force the spyplane to leave the area without firing on it. Considering that the Chinese military had every right to use lethal force against an intruding military aircraft, that pilot showed commendable restraint.

Before you start making jokes about the pilot's fatal error (again), think back to the recent incident in the Middle East where an American F/A-18 Hornet dropped live bombs that completely missed the test site and killed thirty observers.

I have no doubt that if a Chinese spyplane was in American airspace, it would have been shot down without hesitation.

The fact that President Bush was arrogant enough to downgrade the loss of a Chinese soldier in the line of duty with an insincere 'regret' speech is appalling. I can't wait for him to lose the next election (and he will after his 'patriotic simpleton' persona grows old).

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Menchise,

What has made you so anti-America?

Your post seems to be over the top. Your points are without merit.

You are pouring gasoline on a smouldering fire.

Jaguar and Aramike: He's all yours..

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quote:


The Chinese were not demanding an apology for the invasion of Chinese waters, they demanded an apology for the invasion of Chinese AIRSPACE. Water and airspace boundaries are different because planes travel faster than ships.

Not entirely true. The US plane was indeed in INTERNATIONAL airspace - although China has been attempting to claim that airspace as their own for some time. Yet, you can't just say something belongs to China because they SAY it belongs to them, can you? The international community does NOT recognize the airspace that the plane was in as part of Chinese sovereignty.

IMO, it's about time that the Chinese learn to play by the rules of the world - they'd better stop trying to change them to suit THEIR needs, or they'll eventually push someone too far.

quote:


Jaguar and Aramike: He's all yours..

Hehe...

[ 04-23-2001: Message edited by: aramike ]

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quote:

The American spindoctors worked overtime on the spyplane issue when they said that it was over international waters. That may have been true, but consider this.

The American plane was not spying, it was on reconnaissance. It was not over sovereign territory, it was over international waters.

quote:

The Chinese were not demanding an apology for the invasion of Chinese waters, they demanded an apology for the invasion of Chinese AIRSPACE.

The Chinese were finally demanding an apology for the unauthorized landing on their island. However, international mayday treaties allow for emergency landings without permission.

quote:

The Chinese pilot that was killed in the accident was trying to force the spyplane to leave the area without firing on it. Considering that the Chinese military had every right to use lethal force against an intruding military aircraft, that pilot showed commendable restraint.

The Chinese pilot was trying to down the plane by stealing its airflow. The pilot tried to get close to the left wing in order to disrupt the airflow over it, thereby causing a stall (the Bernouli effect). The left wing of the American plane stalled, causing it to dip which caused the plane to veer into the Chinese plane which was too close. The Chinese pilot, in effect, committed suicide.

quote:

think back to the recent incident in the Middle East where an American F/A-18 Hornet dropped live bombs that completely missed the test site and killed thirty observers.

That accident was caused by the controllers themselves. They gave the pilot the wrong coordinates. By the time they realized their mistake and called for an abort, it was too late. The American pilot had already released his bombs.

quote:

I have no doubt that if a Chinese spyplane was in American airspace, it would have been shot down without hesitation.

I have no doubt that if a Chinese spyplane was in American airspace, it would have been immediately escorted out.

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quote:

The fact that President Bush was arrogant enough to downgrade the loss of a Chinese soldier in the line of duty with an insincere 'regret' speech is appalling. I can't wait for him to lose the next election (and he will after his 'patriotic simpleton' persona grows old).


I have no idea where that little rant came from, but the facts are facts, and your little I HATE AMERICA rant, won't change them.

The spin was made after the facts were already out, by Chinese apologists who are scared to death of China, or have so much money invested in China that they will kiss any Chinese butt that says boo.

Bush didn't say oops sorry, he said exactly what needed to be said to get the job done, you are right, IT WAS NOT an apology, but, there should have never been a request for one in the first place. It was stupid, and ridiculous. If the US had done what the Chinese did, we would have been laughed out of the meeting.

So, get off your high horse, watch your back, because in Australia you are a SUBJECT, not a citizen, and chill out and watch a real Republic at work. Notice that I did NOT say Democracy, because we are not one.

Bush did good, and if it continues, HE WILL BE REELECTED. No Matter what you, as an Australian, would like to think. I as an American, am very proud of how he handled the situation, and am looking forward to how he works with Taiwan on their defensive weapons systems, Along with the budget, tax cuts, energy policy ETC., ETC., ETC.

I would go into the actual facts, but Aramike and Steve layed them out for you very, very well. So try and argue with the facts and you will lose, argue with your emotional I HATE America garbage and you will lose too. SO, if you have FACTS to back up your opinions, then please share them, otherwise, you have more important things to do in YOUR country(like getting your freedoms back) then wasting your time and energy criticizing our country and our president with inflammatory BS!!!

[ 04-23-2001: Message edited by: Jaguar ]

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It's about time to tone this down.

The least that could have been done was put antagonizing posts in the appropriate thread. It was that way already and you could debate freely.

I believe this was a thread to throw some humor on the (fading) situation.

Tac. I'll have a marshmallow. Lightly golden if you please.

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one coming up sir!

Lighten up fellows, watch THATS MY BUSH after South Park. Its actually a candid camera set in the white house. President Zaphrod Beeblebox is on the chair! Long live the K.. er... chief!

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Jaguar, I'll concede that you have the facts about the spyplane incident, so I'll stop ranting about that, but you need to learn a few facts about Australia.

I am an Australian citizen, not a subject of the crown. Australia gained independence from the British Empire in 1901.

Technically, Australia is a Constitutional Monarchy, but that is just a formality. The extent of Australian freedom is basically the same as it is in the USA, despite our lack of a Bill of Rights. The only big difference is that Australia has very strict gun laws (that is why we don't have high school massacres).

Technically, the Queen of England is the Head of State, but she is just a figurehead. The same applies to the Queen's Australian representative (the Governor-General) who performs ceremonial duties, with his only real power being that he can dismiss the Prime Minister. However, the dismissal of a Prime Minister has only occurred once in our political history, and the one who did it became a proverbial whipping boy for the rest of his life.

Australia has its own Prime Minister as the head of the Executive sector of government (just like the American president), the only difference being that the Executive and Legislative powers are not completely separate in practice.

Therefore, apart from a few small issues, Australian and American politics work essentially the same way.

On another note, I have no problem with Americans as a people, I just don't like America as a nation-state. If you want to read some facts about how bad the USA really is, I'll post a few in the "Summit of the Americas" thread.

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quote:


If you want to read some facts about how bad the USA really is, I'll post a few in the "Summit of the Americas" thread.

This is the most ridiculous thing I have EVER read. You are NOT an American. How then, could you TELL AMERICANS how bad THEIR country is? We LIVE here.

Further, considering the fact that you just attacked America with FALSE "facts", it would seem to suggest that you really don't know very much about the ACTUAL facts and are only interested in spreading some bizarre hatred of America.

Heh.

[ 04-24-2001: Message edited by: aramike ]

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*hands over marshmellows to aramike*

Here, keep that mouth of yours busy

Sorry Remo, we're all out. You'll have to beat up aramike to get one *evil grin*

*adopts South Park voice*

"You know, I learned something today... Australia has a Queen, PRC dont like prop aircraft and that guy in the white house envies Clinton's escapades in the oval office..."

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