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found this little jewel in another forum, the guy claims he cant say if it did happen or not, but anyway, its darn hilarious!


This is the actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with

Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October

1995. Radio conversation released by the chief of naval

operations, 10-10-95.

CANADIANS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to

avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the

north to avoid a collision.

CANADIANS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15

degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again,

divert YOUR course.

CANADIANS: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

AMERICANS: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second

largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are

accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous

support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees

north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or

counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this

ship.

CANADIANS: This is a lighthouse. Your call.


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Huh? I thought it was only a popular joke. So americans are THAT stupid?!?

I do think Canada is better. We do know more (science. A poll showed that not half americans know in how much time the Earth make a rotation around the Sun, and if there were humans when there were dinausaurs), we don't have the death penalty, we had only 27 assassinations in Montreal (the 2nd biggest city in Canada, ~3 million people) since the start of the year, I'm weak but don't feel treatened at school for that (I heard that there are a lot of fights in the US school), PEOPLE CAN'T WEAR GUNS! And americans think they are safe with them.

"Yeah, but if i don't have a gun, how will I defend myself from killers?!?"

Silly. If you can have guns anywhere, it mean all the amateur criminals can be armed. here, only "professional" killers are armed, and whatever you have a gun or not, you are less likely to kill him before he kills you. And I can't remember the last time a child got hurt by a gun he found in his house, here in Canada

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Epsilon 5, we have been over this and over this, it is OLD. You have a right to your opinions about Canada, you're canadian, I wouldn't live there if they paid me, and I have been asked to move there, I said "I don't think so, you think I'm stupid?" or something to that effect.

The fact is, it is quite a funny story, I think that it is in fact a joke, an aircraft carrier group would know where every lighthouse in it's path was and would compensate for any other "hazards".

I think it's a funny joke, and then Epsilon 5 turns political, wow, that's a bizarre concept.

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Urban legend. Been on the net for a couple years and the joke is probably older than that. I believe it was originally about an ordinary freighter vs a lighthouse.

Then there is the one where the couple wonders why their boat is going so slowly. A guy dives underneath and comes up laughing. They left the trailer attatched to the boat.

Then there is the one where (and this one is really a groaner if you personalize it) you and your friend kill a cat while driving. You search high and low and enlist the Sherriff's help. When you finally find the owner you offer him/her money for killing the cat. The sherriff promptly arrests the owner for selling uhhhhhhm the other word for cat.

[ 06-01-2001: Message edited by: Charles Lindsey ]

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quote:

I think it's a funny joke, and then Epsilon 5 turns political, wow, that's a bizarre concept.

Oh Jag, Ep 5 is just being a proud Canadian. Fact is, we tell much worse jokes up here about Americans, and I'm sure there are a few jokes about (aboot?) us Canucks floating around down there.

"C'est un joke tab#$%c! Reste tranquille."

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Guest Commander Hamblin

USS Abraham Lincoln is in the Pacific fleet, and I've heard that one told about numerous ships, Nimitz for one. Which is how I knew that it wasn't real.

Oh, and there are only two Cruisers in a Carrier Battle Group, there are only 27, and 12 Carrier Battle Groups. As you Americans say "You do the Math."

Still funny though.

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If the truth be told, Americans have been dumbing down for several generations. I think it is horridly fascinating to watch the decline of a civilization like what is happening here.

If today's freshman college class needs remedial reading and math classes; if the schools are eliminating SATs and inflating grades to cover up that fact; then who will be tomorrow's scholars to pass on the accumulated knowledge of our civilization to the next generation and the generation after that?

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lol. I so agree. But from what I've heard, it’s much more expensive to live in Canada than America. Although with gas and electrical prices skyrocketing like they are right now, that could be the other way around before you know it. Truth be told, Canada is one of the three countries in which I'd most consider living (Australia, Canada, New Zealand).

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quote:

I think carrying and owning a gun is a fundamental right. Unfortunately that right has been taken from you.

I never had a gun... and can't remember when Canada removed this right... maybe because we never really had that right.

quote:

Although with gas and electrical prices skyrocketing like they are right now, that could be the other way around before you know it.

I don't about everywhere in Canada, but gas prices are climbing, but electrical prices have not moved for 4 years now, not even from inflation. We use hydro-electricity, and lot's of it. We even sell hundreds of million dollars worth of it to the neighbouring US states. And since we mostly heat our houses with electricity, heating cost only rises for those who still use gas and natural gas.

Hydro-electricity is THE way of the future!

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You should have a talk with Gray Davis. He has consistently made the problem worse.

Deregulation - The democratic crusade to fix something that was never broken. The spoiled-rotten, self-centered, morally-devoid majority of Californians are responsible for voting deregulation into existence.

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Personally I don't want to exercise any rights to carry or own a gun for personal safety. In my (extremely naive and dreamy) opinion, I shouldn't need to exercise such a right - it basically means society is screwed up.

I live in Ottawa.

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Actually the whole gun control, Can vs US debate is a lot of hype.

It's pretty easy to buy a gun here in Canada, you just have to be a little patient, have a clean criminal record, clean mental health check and that's pretty well it.

You can fight for the rights of criminals and the insane to bear arms all you want, just don't expect my vote.

And if you don't want to wait, the illegal gun trade is alive and well. You can get a gun here if you really need one fast. The chances are, however, if you need one fast, you're either a criminal or insane.

The thing I like about living here is that carrying a gun around just isn't tolerated. It's just not acceptable. It's not something you can legislate, it's just an attitude. You can go into a bar and know that you don't have to worry. And the bars that you do have to worry about you can stay away from.

There's less dire poverty, so there's less desperate people. I think the total number of shooting deaths here in Toronto was less than the number of people kill in car accidents. I like it this way, and I want to keep it this way.

There is no place in Toronto I feel afraid of walking around, late at night. Well, that's not quite true, there are some dangerous spots, like in any city, but it's not like New York, or LA. Monreal feels even safer, you really can go anywhere, talk to anyone, you don't have to worry. I like that. I want Canada to stay like that. I'm a little worried that it won't, but I hope it does.

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If you are to be attacked in Canada, you are most likely to be beaten up or stabbed, at most. But not shooted.

I think the general violence level in Canada is MUCH lower than in the US. In some cities in the US, you just have to look a bit too much at someone to be killed. No wonder you are trained like the military when you go in the US police academy. Here, you have to go to school 3 years and do some training, and a policeman is not likely to use his gun often.

The Montreal police just got themselves better guns, special edition lightweight Glocks, but not because of some climbing violence problem, because the other guns were really too old (ruger 6 shooter magnums). SWAT team can be somewhat bored by these times.

[ 05-22-2001: Message edited by: Epsilon 5 ]

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Tac, just be thankful it didn't turn into a discussion of maritime law.

Sheesh Tac, what did you put out? A trot line? And what the heck did you use for bait? We gonna need more marshmallows. Ok guys, Mart run, who wants what?

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quote:

The Canucks have hijacked the forum!!! Quick, run for your maple syrup!

LOL! 4cnd the can! Last of the season! Only 15% taxes on it (here, qc, anyway) !

Hey, living in Canada has its advantages, like the fact that you always seem to have a better salary than an american who does the same thing... hehehe... but everything seems to cost more

And the internet cost about nothing here compared to us...

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To be fair to our American cousins, here are a few things that suck about Canada.

I love winter, the cold is great till about March. By April, you're ready to sacrafice a goat to get spring weather.

We're responsible for all that David Foster music in the Eighties.

We really do make some of the worst POS movies ever created by Mankind. Except for the French. A Quebecois film maker can make a great poignant movie. The English make films like... well, pretty well any film made by Atom Egoyan. (The Sweet Hereafter, The Adjuster, etc....) They pretty much all suck.

Only our television programs are worse than our movies. We make a couple of okay shows. (Davinci's Inquest, Due South) The rest are ABYSMAL!!!! Blue Murder, The Associates, the City, The Red Green Show (it was funny for about five episodes) The Tom Green Show (Funny for about six episodes) The Air Farce (Funny if you're over forty), Sci Factor, Wind At My Back... the list goes on, and on and on.

You'd think that the French would make better shows, and they do have a couple... Lance et Compte is a classic that's coming back next year. And of course La P'tit Vie is pee your pants funny, but they also make a show called Watatatow... very very VERY cheesy show.

If you are American, you can be thankful that you have never, and will never EVER have to watch any of these television programs. EVER. Be thankful for every episode of Sienfeld. Give praise for Cheers re-runs. The worst episode of Baywatch is still waaaay better than our best television up here.

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quote:

You'd think that the French would make better shows, and they do have a couple... Lance et Compte is a classic that's coming back next year. And of course La P'tit Vie is pee your pants funny, but they also make a show called Watatatow... very very VERY cheesy show.

These are ALL old shows that don't play anymore. What we have or had RECENTLY:

Fortier

Un gars, une fille (gone international)

Omerta I & II

Bouscotte

Top model (gone international)

hee hee...

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