Guest Grayfox Posted April 2, 2003 Report Share Posted April 2, 2003 this was sent to me by a friend. -------------------------------------------------- "Axis of Evil" by John Cleese Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya, China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address. Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as evil . . . in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils . . . best at being evil . . . we're the best." Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An axis can't have more than three countries", explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it' s tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool." International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable". With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics". Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Ac tually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America", while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do", said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell. While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in 'Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges. Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately world leaders said that's only because no one asked them. -------------------------------------------------- does remind me a bit of those old monte python movies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrn Posted April 2, 2003 Report Share Posted April 2, 2003 quote:Originally posted by Grayfox: does remind me a bit of those old monte python movies That would be the infamous Aixs Not Appearing In This Film. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 2, 2003 Report Share Posted April 2, 2003 This has been going around the net quite a bit, I have gotten it in my e-mail 3 times now. It really is quite funny, fun post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Trotter Posted April 2, 2003 Report Share Posted April 2, 2003 LMAO! I'm rolling on the floor faster than the wind speed velocity of sparrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Lindsey Posted April 3, 2003 Report Share Posted April 3, 2003 I normally don't like British humor but this was good. Sounds like something The Onion would do. One of my local stations plays The Onion Radio News. Hilarious stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lotharr Posted April 3, 2003 Report Share Posted April 3, 2003 Nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Schacher Posted April 3, 2003 Report Share Posted April 3, 2003 quote:faster than the wind speed velocity of sparrow.African or European? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Trotter Posted April 3, 2003 Report Share Posted April 3, 2003 Ah.... I don't know. For those of you not as sharp as steve see Monty Python's The Holy Grail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kartoffel Posted April 3, 2003 Report Share Posted April 3, 2003 Funny. However, the bird mentioned in the monty python joke is actually a swallow, not a sparrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Trotter Posted April 3, 2003 Report Share Posted April 3, 2003 Yessir you are correct! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Schacher Posted April 3, 2003 Report Share Posted April 3, 2003 quote:For those of you not as sharp as steve..."You have to know these things to be the King." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elenkis Posted April 3, 2003 Report Share Posted April 3, 2003 This was not written by John Cleese, it was written by Andrew Marlatt of SatireWire back in Jan 2002. How it came to be attributed to John Cleese is a mystery, I guess someone just found the writing style similar and made an assumption. You can find the article at its rightful home here: http://www.satirewire.com/news/jan02/axis.shtml Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrn Posted April 3, 2003 Report Share Posted April 3, 2003 quote:Originally posted by Race Bannon IV: Ah.... I don't know. For those of you not as sharp as steve see Monty Python's The Holy Grail The best part of the movie, IMO, is the opening credits. My favorite cast member is Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Film. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Grayfox Posted April 4, 2003 Report Share Posted April 4, 2003 quote:This was not written by John Cleese, it was written by Andrew Marlatt of SatireWire back in Jan 2002. i really couldnt care who did write the article. i recieved it exactly the way i posted it. i thought it was funny, and it did strike me as "flying circus" esque so i would figure id share it with everyone. as for the movie, my favorite part was "the tale of sir lancelot"... just slaughtering the whole wedding party was classic... "message for you...sir..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean Mudge Posted April 6, 2003 Report Share Posted April 6, 2003 Could not help myself here, my favourite part was the "burning of the witch" and the impeccable logic surrounding the decision. I miss those guys, Benny Hill too. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Lindsey Posted April 6, 2003 Report Share Posted April 6, 2003 Oh please, just spare me. Start a Monty Python trivia thread that I won't read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest $iLk Posted April 7, 2003 Report Share Posted April 7, 2003 What is your favorite color! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epsilon 5 Posted April 7, 2003 Report Share Posted April 7, 2003 Who's that Monty Python guy anyway? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 7, 2003 Report Share Posted April 7, 2003 Speaking of John Cleese, I just watched for the nth time "A Fish Called Wanda". It was written by John Cleese, and after seeing it again, I can see how this might be attributed to him. His humor is quite dry, but absolutely hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Grayfox Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 whos monty python? why am i not surprised for us to answer... you must bring us a shrubbery!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest $iLk Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 Beware the terrible dangers of Castle Anthrax... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Põdi Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 ... and the knights who say "Ni!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrn Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 quote:Originally posted by Grayfox: whos monty python? why am i not surprised for us to answer... you must bring us a shrubbery!!! One that looks nice. And not too expensive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starfighter08 Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 quote:Originally posted by $iLk: What is your favorite color! Blue. Aaaaaaaaaah. I'm color blind. I just like British humo(u)r. Btw Blackadder rules too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Schacher Posted April 9, 2003 Report Share Posted April 9, 2003 One... Two... FIVE!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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