admiraltigerclaw

When you pull into work in the morning, and think to yourself 'better deploy the mining drones...'

ROTFLMAO! Dude! Where'd you get these?

Yeah, the halt order first... Otherwise who knows what crazy stunt Resnig will convince the others to do in your absense. *Hrm... Older post... by a month anyway... But hey, the thought came to mind... Can't let a good Resnig comment go to waste...*

...And then you turn around and finish installing the latest updates, and realize that since the Station was moved out to 35000 km (Earth Standard Geosync Orbit interestingly enough...), you now CAN hyperjump out to it.

"It's my forum, and I can post if I want to, pooost if I want to, POOOOOST if I want to... you would post too if it-" *Gets nuked VIA R.A.N.D.O.M. Weapon system...* "ARRRGH!!! IT BURRRRRRNS!!!"

...You're reading the section of the manual on the cloaking device when you come across 'telltale static ping' and go 'HUH?' Then see your systems screens flicker with static for a second, followed by a carrier decloaking and reducing your PUNY armed freighter to something akin to SLAG. And all you can do is blink... ----- ...When you exit a planet to go to the local station and wonder why the heck you can't hyperjump the 900 KM range to it.

Somewhere near Earth, an event was transpiring... It might have been a scientific accident, an intended test, or even a madd scheme by a lunatic, but in the end we all know the truth. The Author was playing a joke on his avatar once more... It happened four-hundred kilometers from GALCOM HQ, a type 0 Station in Earth Orbit. Subspace began to warp with normal spacetime like a massive Hyperion Subspace Device. Then with a recoil snap-back that could be heard, despite the fact that space cannot carry sound, by EVERYONE within the EARTH AREA, something appeared in that spot. Alarms went off on every ship in the system. COMBAT ALERT STATUS. The unknown threat had suddenly appeared, and got in without coming NEAR a jumpgate. Strangly enough, subspace radio was instantly jammed by the ship playing the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Higher Ground... on all frequencies. GALAXIUS had arrived. Admiral Tigerclaw(ATC): Blast it all, WHERE ARE WE? NAV: Appears to be Earth Sir. ATC: Earth? WELL OF COURSE EARTH! What I mean is, what Universe are we in THIS TIME? NAV: Not a clue sir... Arteficial Logic Library Intelligence Core Emotional(ALLICE): I have no clue sir... but perhaps if you ask the locals... Oh dear. ATC: *Sigh* What now? ALLICE: I'm picking up several medium sized ships appraoching on what appears to be intercept courses. Many from the orbiting station. ATC: Set the shields to defensive configuration and put ten phoenix Bombers on standby alert. ALLICE: Yessir. Would you like me to get you a combat assessment? ATC: Please do... *Sits down in command chair.* ALLICE: Six Carrier type vessels, each containing what appear to be eight fightercraft each- ATC: Only eight? ALLICE: -appear to be using a primitive form of hyperjump system that phases them partially into subspace to allow near lightspeed travel, but still unable to attain full Lightspeed capabilities... They're armaments seem to be composed of mostly low end charged particle cannons and laser cannons. ATC: They expect to deal damage with that? Okay, what else? What's their power source? ALLICE: All vessels appear to be running on the equivilant to class four nuclear reactors... ATC: Fission or Fusion? ALLICE: Unable to determine sir... It appears to be fission though, I'm detecting tanks filled with Irridium directly linked to them. ATC: O_o; My goodness... Fission reactors on spacecaft? No fusion, antimatter... gravitron, or even quantum reactors? ALLICE: No sir... as it stands, our Zeropoint reactor places us several exponential levels superior to their power systems. ATC: Threat factor? ALLICE: All six carrier level ships could impact us and blow their reactors, and they wouldn't even distort our shields. ATC: ~_~; That low eh? ALLICE: Sir, it's compairing the threat of a misquito to the well being of Mt. Everest. ATC: Damage assessment if we engage? ALLICE: One shot from a DHP turret would vaporize their ship, shields, armor, all. ATC: Well, if our Double Heavy Plasma cannon turrets would vaporize them, I'd not like to think what our subspace shockwave cannons will do to them. ALLICE: Sir, the term OVERKILL comes to mind. ATC: How bad? ALLICE: Using a hydrogen bomb to get rid of a fireant colony, like Pyro did that one time... ATC: Pyro was in the right that time, you know how hard it is to get rid of fireants. ALLICE: Anyway sir, the ships are emerging from their hyperjumps. ATC: I'd rather not cause an InterUniversal incident at this point... Plot a course out of Earth Space... Take us out to the Asteroid Belt, make for Eros if you can. ALLICE: Subspace sensors show Eros uninhabitted at this point, no energy signatures near it. ATC: *Bringing up a holographic screen.* Yeah, good. Do it. NAV: Rodger that sir, coordinets in. Accellerating and manuevering to jump vector Tsunami drive online... jump in five... four... three... As the terran carriers closed to engagement range, the three thousand foot long, dagger shaped, ship in front of them lurched forwards, cruising towards and past them in a matter of seconds. TA Carrier ONE: Unknown ship accellerating... Five hundred MPS, one thousand, two thousand, eight thousand, ten kilometers a sec, twenty, forty, eighty... And then there was a flash from the engines, and GALAXIUS was gone so fast that the sensors only detected a strange jump anomoly crossing the system at high speed... The anomaly was out of the area in four seconds. TAC1: I've never seen anything like THAT. One second it's accellerating to WELL above our speed, then it's doing some kind of HYPERJUMP clear out of range in seconds... while STILL picking up speed. Command Officer: Can you give me numbers? TAC1: Based on accelleration, in five more seconds it would be doing roughly thirty times lightspeed. Command Officer: Inform Supreme Commander... we have an unknown. ----- ATC: The Author is putting us up to this, I just know it... ALLICE: He IS the supreme force behind us sir. ATC: True, but what could he be concieving in his twisted mind this time? Why send us to a universe where the ships are still using natural jump anomalies to do interstellar jumps? ALLICE: Perhaps back in the Author's world, this universe is simply some game, and we're being sent here as conveyers of good will? ATC: You don't send a GALAXIUS CLASS Command Cruiser, with a Zeropoint, who happens to be me, who happens to be FLEET COMMANDER for the GCFA, to a universe that only exists within' a game. That would tip the balance so much its rediculous. ALLICE: He did that with you and JSW in Total Recoil. Remember? He sent you to the Sailor Moon universe where you proceded to stomp over the main villain cast. Your Zeropoint abilities were more than a match for the entire cast of all the seasons combined if I remember correctly. ATC: Oh well, so I can tap the very energies of spacetime, big deal. I learned how to control it, and even created a reactor based off it, so sue me. ALLICE: I couldn't sue the one I love... ATC: Let's not fly off on a tangent... this isn't Zeropoint... you're supposed to behave like the AI core you are. As the Author hasn't written that part of the story where you've created a BIOengineered body for yourself. ALLICE: I'm sorry sir.. So what should we do now? ATC: *Closes a holoscreen.* We wait... Whoever's in charge will come hunting for us eventually. And then we can ask some questions, and maybe ask some of the Author... ALLICE: Such as? ATC: >_> ATC: <_< ATC: Why are we HERE? And why are we stuck in Rapid Diolog Mode? As if to answer the question, the Author himself returned to narration. Tigerclaw simply shook his head and looked at the holographic image of Allice as they questioned their situation... 'Why were they here?' 'What will they do now?' and... ATC suddenly sat up straight in his chair... "Where's BOB?" he asked? "AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! RETREAT!!!!" The head marine shouted in terror. The man had just appeared inside the well secured compound and set about ripping things appart supposedly looking for, the kitchen. The Marine's entire contingent had been scrambled to contain him. Unfortunately, this man dressed in traditional japanese priest robes, weilding a gigantic sword, seemed completely immune to every weapon they tried. His power was phenominal, his voice alone had incapacitated half his forward party, and was now driving through them hacking away as if on a berserker rampage... And still he continued to shout. "HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!" He bellowed at a volume that cracked the ceramic armor of some nearby marines... "YOU REQUIRE TRAINING! COME TO BOB! BOB WILL TEACH YOU GREAT SKILL!!!!" "Good GOD!" The marine yelled as he looked back... "Unit four! I need EVAC NOW! The whole base can be considered lost!" Tigerclaw looked up at the narration, and slapped his hand to his face... "Leave it to the Psycho Samurai to be completely uneffected by hostile fire. Or even effected by such things as PLOT consistency..." he grumbled... Yes indeed folks. Admiral Tigerclaw has arrived. And with him comes his merry band of... Who am I KIDDING? Merry band? More like totally INSANE crew. It'll be non-stop madcap insanity from this point onward. "I can only hope this Supreme Commander guy has a hefty amount of insurrance on his forum." Tigerclaw mumbled. "Because collatteral is ALWAYS a result of wherever I go... IS THERE NO GOD?!?!?!!?!?" Actually, I believe he's on a coffee break, the ten thousand year long kind. "Shutup you," Tigerclaw muttered at the Author. "Just end the post already..." Done. ::TRANSMISSION TERMINATED::