Afternoon at the movies - Ballistic Ecks vs Server

[Supreme Cmdr]

Almost 2hrs worth of rubbish. OK, I like Antonio and Lucy, but this movie just reeked. Its got nice explosions though.

Wait for the DVD

1/10

[CommanderJohnson]

I'm going to go see it in about 30 minutes, will post on it when I get back. I hope it isn't THAT bad. Good explosions should at least rate a 3/10...

[CommanderJohnson]

Ok, that movie was horrible. So no one else sees it, here is a total critique:

The movie attempts to combine an action movie with a chick flick, which ends up making it fail horribly. It adds an entire emotional subplot designed to tug at the heartstrings of viewers (im guessing females since I was just laughing during most of it). It has two family/children plots which could easily have been taken out. Music that seems suited for love stories is played between battles, even though the time between battles has nothing to do with a love plot (any love story isn't even developed past "she's a woman, he's a man") and it doesn't fit the "we're about to get attacked again" mood. Beautiful scenery is thrown in at the same time for absolutely no reason, ruining the mood that should be "what's going to happen next" with "wow, look at the pretty sunset...wait...isn't this supposed to be an action movie? Why the hell is that there?!?". The plot of the movie isn't much better, there is no character development of the villians, almost none of Sever, and very little of Ecks. The "world is going to end" urgency of most actions movies is non-existant, instead replaced with an emotional urgency that makes almost no sense. The only thing keeping viewers watching is trying to figure out why people are shooting at each other, since the plot changes so many times with no order or chronological connectivity that it's almost impossible to follow, and then once you do figure it all out, you realize that the movie sucks.

On the plus side, the explosions were nice, and the pseudo-techno music was cool. Oh yeah, and the fighting scenes sucked too, it was a pitiful attempt to live up to the Matrix's martial arts action, but it left you thinking "I really wish I watched the Matrix instead, at least that was an action movie." Now, I think i'm going to go watch The Matrix. That was a good movie.

EDIT:

Oh yeah, -1/10. I can get good music from the and fighting Matrix. I can get good music and explosions from Star Wars. I can get all of em from The Rock. Talk about a load of...

[ 09-21-2002, 10:08 PM: Message edited by: Dredd ]

[Urza]

Whoa, I was going to see this, but MAN, I may have to go to HSX and short this one. (hey, if I hurry I can get it commission-free, being Saturday)

[ 09-21-2002, 10:22 PM: Message edited by: Urza ]

[Epsilon 5]

So the impressive trailer was just fluff??

[Supreme Cmdr]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Epsilon 5:

So the impressive trailer was just fluff??

---

Yep. As Dredd and I said, nice explosions, cool actors. Bad movie. Thats why they put the first two in the trailers.

[Epsilon 5]

And the "matrix : reloaded" is coming in november, right?

[Supreme Cmdr]

If you think we're kidding, go read this

[DraconisRex]

OKAY... That's one movie I WILL NOT see... These short excerpts shows why....

quote:

---

"Some movies were made for the big screen, some for the small screen, and some, like Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, were made for the palm screen."

-- Susan Walker, TORONTO STAR

---

quote:

---

"A 90 minute cacophony of bullets, bombs, and other things that go boom, delivered without the tiniest thread of excitement."

-- Mark Palermo, THE COAST (HALIFAX, NOVA SCOTIA)

---

quote:

---

"I'm guessing the director is a magician. After all, he took three minutes of dialogue, 30 seconds of plot and turned them into a 90-minute movie that feels five hours long."

-- Bill Muller, ARIZONA REPUBLIC

---

quote:

---

"Whether it's the worst movie of 2002, I can't say for sure: Memories of Rollerball have faded, and I skipped Country Bears. But this new jangle of noise, mayhem and stupidity must be a serious contender for the title."

-- Lawrence Toppman, CHARLOTTE OBSERVER

---

I don't know... At least in Get Smart, there was an occasional chance at entertainment... Thanks for the heads-up, SC!

*Salute!*

[Epsilon 5]

Oooookayyy...

I'll wait for it to be on TV. Nah.

[Supreme Cmdr]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Epsilon 5:

Oooookayyy...

I'll wait for it to be on TV. Nah.

---

heh, that should be a pretty long wait. Just rent the DVD when it comes out in a couple months.

Damn this movie was bad

[Epsilon 5]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Supreme Cmdr:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Epsilon 5:

Oooookayyy...

I'll wait for it to be on TV. Nah.

---

heh, that should be a pretty long wait. Just rent the DVD when it comes out in a couple months.

Damn this movie was bad

---

I don't have a dvd player

[Supreme Cmdr]

DVD and video releases usually come out around the same time.

..and if you don't have a VCR, be sure to send us a postcard from that cave you're living in.

[Epsilon 5]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Supreme Cmdr:

DVD and video releases usually come out around the same time.

..and if you don't have a VCR, be sure to send us a postcard from that cave you're living in.

---

I was kidding, I know it'll be on VHs too

paustcord? uhx?

[DraconisRex]

I don't think It Came From Outer Space was attacked as visciously as Ecks was. I mean, ICFOS was a really bad movie, with a potentially interesting story, but had BAD acting, NO plot, and seemed to take FOR-freaking-ever to finally get to the end....

It took about 5 tries of watching it before I finally completed it -- nothing like caffeine to help you in a crisis....

Although Them! was a B-Class movie, at least what it was suggesting was semi-plausable for its time. But these are 50's and 60's movies I'm comparing to Ecks. I guess the sub-title for it (which would make it THE worst movie of all time) should be: It came from 2002.

I will avoid this movie like doutie diapers, and only HOPE the producers have learned something from their effort: DON'T make the same mistake twice.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show was another B-Class movie, but they never intended for it to be considered a serious effort. It was done in FUN, and was humorous in part, completely intentional. I have to say it's several generations above ICFOS, and based on the reviews I read, is a crapload better than ECKS.

[DraconisRex]

I was wrong... It wasn't ICFOS, it was Plan 9 From Outer Space. My bad... So was it!