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How not to write metaphors


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quote:

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19 p.m.at a speed of 35mph.

That guy confuses english and maths ..

quote:

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.


.. and that one got issues!

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  • 4 weeks later...

quote:

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hotgrease.

well duh!

quote:

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met

That's disgusting

quote:

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall

Confusing just confusing.

quote:

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.


OUCH!

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  • 1 month later...
Guest Commanderlb

quote:

quote:

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The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

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seems familiar. Anyone else heard it before?


yes i think it is: plane flew as fast as the bowling falling into the pavement from the skyscraper

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quote:

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

This looks like DNA (Douglas Noel Adams) style to me. Maybe it seems familiar because you read "The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy" or some other title from his hand?

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