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echo

Hi Guys!

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Hi Guys!

Just thought I would drop in an say Hello. I miss everyone. Life has once again thrown me a curve ball and I have been seperated since Dec 6th....such is life. I didn't get angry or stalk, cried for the better of 3 months but I am ok now..... I have spent a lot of time reflecting and changing and becoming a better me. I want to do the best for me and the kids and if at some point someone comes along and wants to join us I might try it again....(idea makes me want to vomit)

I am unsure of the direction of the marriage, he seems to want it but is having fun in his own place with his buddies and College Basketball. Says he isn't sure we can work....who know's a woman only waits sooo long......and this is the longest I have ever waited.

Beyond that we are all healthly and pretty ok. I do Yoga, QiCHong and am even learning to belly dance!

So as they say "Rock on!"

"whatever doesn't me makes me stronger" now is that Kanye or someone else's quote? hahahaha

Love to you all!!!!!

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Nice to hear from you, echo! :)

Things seem to have a way of working out, so don't let it get to you. I'm sure everything will be okay with time.

-Sho

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Hi Echo!!

I was wondering what happened to my biggest fan and there you are! :)

I'm sorry to hear about your personal problems, but as they say, thats life. Sometimes we have to go - unwillingly - through life's journeys in order to be able to truly appreciate who we are.

Finding a mate - let alone a life-long one - is rife with trials and tribulations. But in truth, there is absolutely nothing that says two people have to be together. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, it just won't work because people are different. Until you can appreciate - and accept - the other person for who they are, there will always be compromises. Sometimes people simply don't want to compromise and thats their God given right.

Heck, I've had my share. e.g. I'm a notorious recluse. I never - ever - leave my house unless I have to. Heck, even when I'm home, either of the two highly demanding women in my life usually have visitors and they rarely ever run into me. We've argued about stuff like that time and time again. In the end, she just gave up and accepted the fact that she's the extrovert and I'm the introvert. We've even had big fights over the fact that I do more of my talking online than I do in real life. And lets not even go into how much money has gone into life coaching and counseling sessions. The only constant is that we agreed that we're both different and thus have to compromise. e.g. Trying to get me to go piss around in the park with people I wouldn't normally even talk to - let alone mingle with - when I live in a huge house with more outdoor areas than I care to explore (I live on a fishing lake & golf course fer crissakes - and I don't even play golf nor fish), is a lesson in futility and thus will always end up an argument. An argument that nobody wins because if I don't want to go to the park, I just won't go. I'd rather go hang out on the lake and do whatever they want us to do at the park, there. But ten minutes later, I'd either be plonked in front of a computer, TV or buzz off to the movies.

For me, having a partner - married or not - is all about respect, acceptance, compromise and understanding. Once you make the decision to settle down with someone, its not something you get to take lightly. Which is why you have to take everything into account before making such a decision. Let alone having kids.

I'd always thought that I would die alone and didn't even give it a moment's thought. Then my partner game along - which made me stay in South Florida though I had moved down here temporarily from NYC on an IBM project. Then my daughter came along. The rest is history and I'm as happy as a lark. Stuff like "...hey Dad, want to go to the park with us?" or "...hey Dad, lets go ride my bike outside" are easier to deal with because knowing that you have the choice to say yes or no, without it errupting into an argument, makes it that much easier. So over time, I conditioned myself to participate and thus join as many outdoor activities as I can. So, when I say that I just want to be left alone or if I do go out, just want to sit on a park bench with a Bluetooth headset on, reading a mag and totally oblivious to what they're doing, I don't get any resistance.

Its all about compromise and what you're willing to give up. For me, the sacrifices and compromises I make, ensure that I keep my family together. At the end of the day, I do what I have to in hopes that my partner keeps her end of the bargain. She in turn makes her own share of the compromises in order that we maintain a balance; especially since we now have a daughter who further complicates the balancing. So, we keep adjusting.

This is why marriage is such as challenge. Even though I am a Christian, I'm not into that school of thought that says you have to be married to be in a relationship, let alone have children. Marriage, apart from the religious aspects, - to me - simply serves to shore up some people's insecurities - especially those looking for guarantees in life. It is also - for some (Catholics) a religious endeavour which, in truth, can fall apart anyway, regardless of your faith and/or commitment.

Anyway, if you have custody of your children, I think that getting married again should be farthest from your mind. At least in the near term. You might want to look into the alternatives to marriage project as it has some useful guidelines on how to live your life without feeling the pressure of the institution of marriage.

As for him, though he's gone, all you can hope for is that he doesn't neglect his duties as a father. You might want to head on over to dads.com and subscribe him to their newsletter.

Though I'm sure that you'd do fine and be OK, I wish you all the best. If you ever need to talk, well, you have my PM. :D

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There is strength in every moment. Sometimes you have to stop everything and listen with your entire soul. You will do just fine.

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Well thanks guys! SC you just turned me into a babbling chick! hahahaha thanks for that, I should have come here sooner. I am glad things are good with your family. This was my second marriage and he came from the religious background that would rather us be married than living together the way we were. The wedding day came and it was all downhill from there.

He still comes to see my kids (his step children) as he has known them since they were babies and we are begining to sorts date (if that is what you call it).

We didn't communicate right and he thought he wasn't good enough and I thought he didn't want to be here. Now he doesn't trust we can work. Once he left I thought I would be fine, however I found I was a mess! It was the biggest wake up call in my life and I melted.... the ice princess melted....sorta like the Winter Warlock in Santa Claus is Coming to Town...... So I am doing all sorts of accepting and letting go etc. He is also doing some work, more playing than work but it is where he wants to be right now.

What I was finding hardest was what happened to my pride, I mean I never fully opened up becasue I didn't want to be hurt and then kind of pushed him away. Ego is a funny thing sometimes. I was really down and out for a couple months, I had forgotten that I have a life and interests and these great kids, it took me a bit to get up off the floor and brush off....but I think I have.

I think if I focus on the positive it will all come together, I am just spoiled and impatient. I have to say I am learning a lot , and things that teach us to be better people aren't all bad.

BTW in true Echo style....I am trying to change my email address and it's asking for a password and I think I don't know what it is...hahahaha...derrrr...clueless....I can picture you shaking your head.

I promise I won't stay away too long ever again! I am glad I have not been forgotten and I am still your BIGGEST fan!!!!

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BTW in true Echo style....I am trying to change my email address and it's asking for a password and I think I don't know what it is...hahahaha...derrrr...clueless....I can picture you shaking your head.

Send me your new email via PM and I'll go in and manually change it and then reset your password so that a new one is sent to the new email address.

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I'm sorry to hear of your problems Echo. You seem to be a strong woman and an intelligent person, I'm sure you'll find happiness again.

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Really sorry to hear about your troubles, echo. Take your time and think things through, patience is such an underrated virtue nowadays.

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Hey Echo, I'm really sorry to hear about the problems you are facing. As ben said, patience is good and in time things tend to unravel themselves of the knot we see today.

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Patience......yes that word is slipping into my consciousness. I am instant gratification girl....Thanks for your support I appriciate it.

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What a YEAR!!!!

Hi Everyone! I hope you are well. After 11 months of seperation me and my husband are officially back together, he finished moving back yesterday. He is away for a week but then we will live happily ever after.....

No seriously, we both have learned a ton.

So I thought I would pop in and say Hi and Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Birthday to anyone I may have missed!

Take care!

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Hi Echo! :-)

Great news, I hope you two will enjoy the rest of your time together.

My best wishes.

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Hi Echo!

I'm glad to hear everything worked out. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

-Sho

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Hi Echo!! :) That's good news indeed.

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What a YEAR!!!!

Hi Everyone! I hope you are well. After 11 months of seperation me and my husband are officially back together, he finished moving back yesterday. He is away for a week but then we will live happily ever after.....

No seriously, we both have learned a ton.

So I thought I would pop in and say Hi and Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Birthday to anyone I may have missed!

Take care!

Sounds great!! Glad you made it. Hope the kids are OK.

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great news, echo! I'll be praying for you both to continue moving in the right direction.

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