27 things you should never do in the space shuttle....

[Guest Mikel]

1. Open a window for some fresh air.

2. Suddenly remember that the airlock door is supposed to stay closed.

3. Play "light the bonfire" with the emergency supplies.

4. Walk the dog.

5. While in deep space, explain, in detail, the concept of black holes.

6. Reinvent landing procedures.

7. Install windscreen wipers, because hey, you never know.

8. Conveniently tear a hole in the ship's hull.

9. Discuss last night's episode of "Lost in Space".

10. Open the oxygen tanks to see if there really is oxygen inside.

11. Use the ship's rocket engines to cook up a meal.

12. In an intensely silent moment yell, "My God! The door!"

13. Replace the cooling fluid with vodka.

14. Smuggle a pack of hyenas into the cargo compartment.

15. Press the big red button.

16. Ask one of your female companions what she's wearing under her suit.

17. Introduce pig lassoing at recreation time.

18. Radio "Houston, we've got a problem" just for the hell of it.

19. Forget to wear your seatbelt.

20. Bring your own grog.

21. Use the control panel as a drum kit.

22. Five seconds before launch, announce the

disturbing fact that you're not wearing a spacesuit.

23. Try to invent hyperdrive.

24. Decide that the oxygen tanks could use a little helium.

25. Ask what the in-flight movie is.

26. Invite the family along.

27. Practice reverse parking in the escape pod.

PS I put these here because they can also apply to any ship in the Battle Cruiser Universe. Have fun

[Guest]

Heh, here's one...

Why can't dogs ride on the space shuttle?

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Because when they hang their heads out the window their face would peel off.

(drum roll)

Thank you, thank you. My name's Vorpal, I'll be here all night...

[Commander Jamont]

1 thing you should take in your shuttle

Your mother inlaw

Because

1. you can jettison her out of the shuttle when she jells out you.

2. you ask here to clean the windows outsite the shuttle , without a suit.

Hehe

Byeez

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Commander Nick Jamont

GCV Prophecy IV, ISSHQ (Saturn)

Intel & Espionage Wing Leader - ISS Fleet

"silence is gold"

[Guest]

....go after the ships cat (anyone saw Aliens?)

[Whisper]

...decide to find out why they call it "explosive decompression"

...use the radioactive fuel core for a lava lamp.

...use the radioactive fuel core for a massage roller.

...drink coffee that came out of the "recycler" (good for 25 flushes!)

...decide its too stuffy inside and go out for some fresh air.

...peel of the ceramic re-entry tiles and use them for a game a Moh-Hajong.

...play "Twenty Questions" with Mission Control (Is the problem with the oxyegen delivery tank? No! 6 left! Is it the fuel tank? No! 5 left...)

...barnstorm (And now I'll pull a double flip!)

...try to find out how fast it really goes. (Wee! Earth looks so small! Sorry Huston, what was that? Your breaking up...)

...go on and on about "What not to do in the space shuttle".

[This message has been edited by Whisper (edited 10-24-2000).]

[Guest aramike01]

Allow those funny looking green men to come aboard.

Wildly press at the control panels 'cause they do it on Star Trek.

Skeet shooting.

Attempt to land on the Sun.

Press the "eject" button.

Test explosives.

And finally...

• Attempt to build an international space station with the habitually tardy Russians.

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Vice Admiral Michael Kristophers

ICV-Intrepid, Spectre (Antis)

Fleet Leader

Spectre Fleet

Official Tester, Battlecruiser Series

You can only love or hate what you truly understand!