Law according to Murphy

[Gallion]

Does anyone have the old BC3k version of Murphy's Law? Got this the other day and had to laugh

• 1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.

• 2. Incoming fire has the right of way.

• 3. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire.

• 4. There is always a way.

• 5. The easy way is always mined.

• 6. Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.

• 7. Professionals are predictable; it's the amateurs that are dangerous.

• 8. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: -When you're ready for them -When you're not ready for them

• 9. Teamwork is essential; it gives them someone else to shoot at.

• 10. If you can't remember, then the claymore is pointed at you.

• 11. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring is the main attack.

• 12. A 'sucking chest wound' is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

• 13. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

• 14. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

• 15. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.

• 16. Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.

• 17. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

• 18. If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.

• 19. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.

• 20. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.

TTFN

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Fleet Commander Gallion

(Pro Tem)

GCV Graf Spee, Starbase Cerberus

Fleet Leader - Wraith Fleet (Pro Tem)

Wing Leader - Wraith Fleet/Corsair Wing

"Run Silent, Run Deep"

Corsair Cove

Official Tester, Battlecruiser Series

[Eclipse]

I used to have a page of these things bookmarked... b4 I reformateed.

1. Friendly fire isn't

2. Recoilless rifels aren't

3. You aren't superman, marines and fighter pilots take note.

4. No combat ready unit ever passed inspection.

5. Corrolary: No inspection ready unit ever passed combat.

6. The effective range of a grenade is usually one foot shotret than the average grunt can throw it.

7. Artillery barrages fall too short and airstrikes overshoot.

8. It's not the one with your name on it you have to worry about, it's the one marked "occupant" or "to whom it may concern."

9. Napalm is an area effect weapon.

10. The more complex the weapon, the farther away it has to be shipped for repairs.

11. A clean and dry set of BDU's are a magnet for rain and mud.

12. Tracers work both ways.

13. Odd objects attract fire. Corrolary: you are an odd object.

14. when you drop your gear, your magazines always fall farthers away while your canteen always lands at your feet.

15. One enemy is never enough, but two is entirely too many.

16. No plan survives contact. Modern version: No OPLAN survives contact.

17. If it's stupid and it works, it isn;t stupid.

Thats about all I can think of at 7:30 AM

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Commodore Kyle Antilles

ICV-Eclipse, Destiny Starstation (Nevuela)

Commanding Officer, Destiny

Spectre Fleet

"You can only love or hate something you truly understand"

[Rico Jansen]

Gallion? You meant these?

I knew I had them somewhere on my harddrive.

quote:

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Author: Daniel G. Londo├▒o ([email protected] ICQ 6955087)

Subject: The Murphy's Laws of BC3K

Lets face it, Murphy's Laws are the only constant in the universe!

Here are some for Battlecruiser 3000AD:

The chance of a crash is directly proportional to the amount of time since

your last save game.

The chance of a crash is directly proportional to your achievments in the

game.

The chance of a crash is inversely proportional to the amount of time you

spent reading the docs.

The amount of experienced Commanders is inversely proportional to the

amount of bodies floating outside the airlocks.

Any or all of the above combined.

IC Pilots never take a break.

Marines are the ultimate weapon: They're cheap!

Shuttle crews are near-sighted.

Anything that can go wrong will go wrong, it does'nt matter if you read the

docs.

There is never time to do it right, but there is always time to do it again.

If everything seems to be going well, you obviously have no idea what the

hell is going on.

Murphy was a Commander.

If you're feeling good don't worry, you'll get over it.

Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.

Professional soldiers are predictable, the universe is full of dangerous

amateurs.

Every TacOps command that can be misunderstood will be.

Military Intelligence is a contradiction.

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.

The one item you need is always in short supply.

You are not Superman. Marines and IC pilots take note.

There is always a way and it usually does'nt work.

If the enemy is within range so are YOU!

There is no such thing as a perfect plan.

If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

GCV-Murphy never left spacedock.

The CIC is always right.

The chance of a cargo pod being blown up before you can pick it, is

directly proportional to its value.

BC AI - Isn't.

IC AI - Takes too long.

Intruders will board you in two ocassions: When you can't afford to have a

system blown up and when you don't want them on board.

Intruders are the ultimate crewmembers: They know your ship better than

your marines do!

GALCOM HQ is a cover-up for a fireworks depot.

Tractor beams are the ultimate PTA counterpart.

Cloaked BC's usually have their PTA's on.

GALCOM HQ communications officers have a speech impediment. Consequently all

ACM missions communiques are impossible to understand.

Deployed solar reactor panels symbolize the final act of a desperate

Commander.

The amount of SDF vessels is directly proportional to the amount of gamers

competing for a 3dfx card.

A Dralthi Pilot can kick the crap out of an IC. Long live the Drakhai!

An IC can kick the crap out of a Dralthi Pilot...after several clonings.

An X-Wing pilot can kick the crap out of anyone.

Murphy was an X-Wing pilot.

If the cost of a missile came out of the IC pilot's pocket, GALCOM would be

invincible (on the IC's wasting Vagrants on other fighters)

The GCV Orion Fleet is full of holy men and women. They were crucified and they

still walk tall.

Dont mess with the GCV Excelsior! (CIC's flagship)

---

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Cmdr. Rico Jansen

GCV de Ruyter, Genesis (Moon)

16 Squadron Leader - Prime Fleet, Gamma Wing, 1st Squadron

[Gallion]

Yep!

TTFN

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Fleet Commander Gallion

(Pro Tem)

GCV Graf Spee, Starbase Cerberus

Fleet Leader - Wraith Fleet (Pro Tem)

Wing Leader - Wraith Fleet/Corsair Wing

"Run Silent, Run Deep"

Corsair Cove

Official Tester, Battlecruiser Series

Co-Leader, Team 1

[Rico Jansen]

Hey Gallion, what's with "TTFN". I see it with you all the time but I haven't got a clue what it should mean. It was time I started asking.

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Cmdr. Rico Jansen

GCV de Ruyter, Genesis (Moon)

16 Squadron Leader - Prime Fleet, Gamma Wing, 1st Squadron

[Gallion]

Ta-Ta-For-Now

TTFN

[Rico Jansen]

I guess those words could be mine now. I'm off to my dorm. Thank for the explanation. Cya.

Rico

[Tyrn]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gallion:

T

a-

T

a-

F

or-

N

ow

TTFN

---

The letters immortal of Tigger.

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Commander Tyrn Marcel

GCV Falcon, Wraith HQ (Lyrius)

Wing Leader - Wraith Fleet/S.O.G.

Hard, Fast, Furious... FIRST!

Official BCM Beta Tester Team-5 Co-Leader

[This message has been edited by Tyrn (edited 12-11-2000).]

[Akuma Minako]

**lol** You guys do have too much time on you're hands don't you?

God...I can't breath. That was good.

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Commander Akuma Minako

GCV - Tenchi, Orion Starstation (CENTRIS)

Deterrence Battle Group

www.orion-hq.fsnet.co.uk

[Gallion]

quote:

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The letters immortal of Tigger.

---

Somewhat incorrect in your spelling there Tyrn

The correct spelling is T - i - double gu - er

TTFN

[This message has been edited by Gallion (edited 12-11-2000).]

[Tyrn]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gallion:

Somewhat incorrect in your spelling there Tyrn

The correct spelling is

T

-

i

-

double gu

-

er

---

LOL...I stand corrected

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Commander Tyrn Marcel

GCV Falcon, Wraith HQ (Lyrius)

Wing Leader - Wraith Fleet/S.O.G.

Hard, Fast, Furious... FIRST!

Official BCM Beta Tester Team-5 Co-Leader