Karma? Good Luck? Coincidence? I may become a believer. Viva YAHOO

[Guest]

It starts at the turn of the millenium.

I have lived in the USA since 1997...

...never before coming to the US and never IN the US have I met a girl that made my heart do backflips.

By 1999 I had been saving money with my meager college+CSR job to go somewhere exotic, the kind of place you can say when you're 100 years old 'yeah, I went there once and I loved it!'. That place was Tokyo, and I found the means to extend a 3 week 'plan' into a 3 month stay by attending a language program (which also gave me college credits..win-win situation)...

...In the closing months of the year 2000 I went to Japan. Where I met this girl. Perhaps the biggest mistake of my life was to not spend more time with her... as it was I barely had time to speak to her at all. She was from the pacific islands, was going to college in the US (didnt find out where..didnt seem important at the time)..and I never learned her last name, just her first name. On the day of my birthday (spent in Japan) she gave me a seashell necklace, which has been hanging on the wall of my room (in FLA) ever since.

At the end of the study program she and I had to go back to the US. I found out as I was taking the train to the airport that she had left the day before in an early flight, and she was the only one from the group I was with that I could not get her contact info...

... For almost a year I kept in touch with the other folks in the study program, they all asked about each other and I asked them about her..but nobody had her info nor her last name. I even did a white pages search and 411'd but I couldnt get info with just her first name.

So all I had left was the necklace, pictures and memories. It was so until 3 days ago...

...I came back from work (first day of my new job no less.. after almost a year of being unemployed!) tired as heck, turned on my computer, was sitting down and I glanced at the necklace. For some reason..call it an impulse or a moment of zen, I typed her first name in YAHOO .. something that I had done years ago when I came back and I never got any hits.

10 hits.

One was the website where I had put all the pictures I took on my trip (which others from the language program could and did download them.. I took approx. 80 megs of digital camera pics), the website long gone but Yahoo still linked to it..

...another was a hit in russian, apparently her name is used in a portion of some russian word.

third hit was odd. So I clicked on it. Lo and behold the moment I click on it I find myself staring at her picture. Turns out a high school friend of hers had posted school-era pics and labeled them in html text. I tried to find someplace in that website to email the website owner, but being an AOL site and being made with AOL easy page maker thing this woman had not put her email up...

...nor did she type in this girl's last name. Nor where this high school was located in (it was a US high school).

So close... yet so far.

I browsed the next set of hits.. finding nothing but more russian stuff.

6th hit. Click. I fall off my chair.

Her picture is in a small town local newspaper in the US..and there she is, unmistakable... captioned as being a student watching the kerry/bush debates live.. and her last name provided in the caption.

...YAHOO'd first and last name. One hit. A university website. Click. There she is.. picture and all working as a non-teaching staff member. Name, Univ. phone number, e-mail, city and state provided (city/state not the same as the one in the pic where she watched pres. debates..heck not even in same time zone inside the US).

It was nearly midnight, not a proper time to call a place of business or even a home for that matter . So, after a couple of hours of editing and quadruple editing my email I finally send it off...

...Work the next day was absolute torture. Every second, every stupid task in the office was like nails scratching on a blackboard. Cant the damn clock go any faster? Did the uni. servers flag my earthlink email addy as spam mail? ARGhhhhh.

I get home at night... no email. Maybe im just too edgy.. not even I reply to email every day. I hope it wasnt filtered as spam...

...Next day.. work... pain... get home.. no email. So close yet so far. Maybe it was blocked as spam.. no matter, I picked up the phone and called the uni. telephone number.. a staff member picks up the phone.. I ask for her by name... guy tells me she graduated there last year and hasnt been there since.. I ask him if he knows if she's still in the same town, he doesnt know but he'll ask around the older staff members for any info. I'm supposed to call him tomorrow to see if any results. Thanked the man deeply and realized the website I was seeing was probably an old version YAHOO linked to (there were no dates on it). I was miserable.

so close yet so far....

... i went back to the Yahoo hits to check on every single one no matter if they were in russian. It had been an astronomical coincidence to find any info on her after so many years. The pres. debate I remembered were in closing months of '04 . so she probably graduated from uni. earlier than that.

looking at other hits I find one that lists her first and last name as participating in a sporting event.. early months of this year. same town as pres debate pic. This night has not been good for my blood pressure...

the sporting event had phones of the sporting league that organized it.. so I called them up and asked about her.... lady on phone (turns out it was her cellphone) she was suprised to hear I was calling all the way from florida on this matter. She wasnt at work where the records were kept but she said she could look into it tomorrow for me. I gave the lady my name, email and phone number so the lady could foward it to her.

So close... so close...

and here I am now, completely unable to sleep at ALL and tomorrow i have to go to work.

What are the chances of all this happening? I mean.. im from south america, shes from pacific islands, we both studied in the US but we met in Japan.. turns out we both ended up living in the US half a continent apart.. now after all these years a simple, SINGLE WORD yahoo search may get us back in touch.. and every person i call when I do get some contact info have been very nice and helpful to me.

If shes not married.. man id marry her without a 2nd thought.

Please send good vibes my way everyone, at this point ill take any karmic help I can get.

cant sleep now.. arggghhh.

[TARWMSRK]

Ahhhh ive felt like that before--hopefully everything will work out (thank god for the internet and search engines).

[Guest]

no email today... spoke with someone at her old job they said that if the U. has her contact they will foward her my contact info (they wont give me her info for security reasons which is understandable).

More waiting...

[Guest $iLk]

Good luck fella.

[echo]

Tac my fingers are crossed for you. Your story is sooo sweet! I think when she finds out how hard you have been looking for her she will be touched!

[Guest]

Thnx echo. I hope so too.

I'm at a standstill right now, that sporting league is the last connection I have and so far everything points she's living in the same state her pres. debate pic of late '04 and sporting even of early '05 are.

Maybe I should hire a proffessional to find her... I dont know how well that would look you know? Still, she has graduated from uni and its very possible she may be returning to the pacific islands. If that happens my chances go to zero.

*sigh*

[Pisces-21]

Dont give up You will find her Good luck sir Just keep trying.

[Guest]

saturday.. nothing yet.

[Scrivener]

Ugh. Been there, Tac. A couple times. It never ends well.

I've learned from trial and error how to translate my emotions. The ones I really trust are the ones where I feel 'at peace' near someone. Comfortable would be another term. I've felt this once and blew it (that's really my ONLY regret). It was the final learning experience that brought everything together for me though. Strange thing is my friends are playing matchmaker now and have given me a second chance. We'll see.

In any case, relationships that begin with stress are not relationships you want to pursue. But maybe everyone has to learn that lesson the hard way. I did, even though I knew the whole time what I was doing. Funny thing, emotions.

[echo]

Tac, I can only guess that if I found out someone was looking for me and I got his number etc, I would probobly be too nervous to call right away. Especailly if the encounter you guys had was or had the potential to be more than a friendship.

Now keep in mind, that comes from a lady who has one finger in her ear and one near her mouth pretending to talk on the phone to her 3 year old who is 2 feet away!

[Guest]

"Tac, if you want to find her, hire a professional. You would be surprised how many strings they can pull to find someone."

I may end up doing that.

"You may also use "social engineering" to get better quality infos. Take a look at "The Art of Deception" of Kevin Mitnick. It's not all about computers, instead, much more about smart talking to get the infos you need"

Smart talk usually means lying or as the title says, deceiving people. The people ive talked to are friend of hers..ex-collegues and the organizers of her sports league; lying to them to get her info will only get me into a buttload of trouble later on. So no.

echo: well, like I said i barely had time to talk to her back in Japan.. if it was half an hour every day it was too much. Still she made that big an impression on me. I know she may delay in contacting me, but what really has me on the edge is not knowing IF she's got my info.. no one has told me 'hey we let her know you're looking for her and she got your email and phone #'.

Scriv: "The ones I really trust are the ones where I feel 'at peace' near someone." You nailed that one man! Thats exactly what I felt.

[Guest]

I got an email from her.

Took me 3 hours to write the reply. never in my life have I edited an email so much.

im so happy! I owe you guys a karmic favor!

[Guest]

gracias nomad!

[Guest Grayfox]

good on you tac! i enjoy soppy happy endings. no sarcasm intended or implied.

so i take it the email contents were in a positive form? if so, buena suerte!

[Guest]

well that remains to be seen. her first email was of course the 'hi what a surprise to hear from you' email.. you know.

Im waiting for her 2nd reply.. I hope I didnt scare her by telling her how I found her email. As echo said, I hope she's touched .. otherwise she'll believe im a stalker or worse.

so yeah, im even more nervous now. *sigh*

[echo]

Don't worry tac, if she didn't want to hear from you, she wouldn't have written!

I am soo happy for you! Regardless of what way it goes, you'll never again wonder "what if". Just remember to give it 100%.

Best wishes! xoxoxo

[Guest]

"you'll never again wonder "what if"

yes, true. Up until I got her email it was my greatest regret in life. Now I just hope I dont create a new regret

Thnx echo

[Ben Zwycky]

You're reminding me of my email relationship with my (now) wife.

I feel the need to quote some very wise words( I forget who wrote them)

Love (and especially marriage) is not about finding the right person, it is about being the right person

[Guest]

Its a strange world we live in isn't it Ben? My sister is actually in Ireland right now visiting a guy she had been talking over the internet for a year or so... he stayed in our house for a couple of weeks in january and now she's there until the middle of this month. And by the way they're going it wont suprise me if they end up married.

[Cc]

If possible,have her visit Avoca,Co.Wicklow, where Ballykissangle was filmed.

A super great BBC show filmed in Ireland having to do with an English priest in Ireland.

Very popular all around the world,shown here in the US on BBC America and PBS.

DVD on Amazon.

[Guest]

Actually CC, the guy lives in the area where they filmed 'The Princess Bride'.

[echo]

I love that movie!!!

[Guest]

cripes I just hijacked my own thread

[Ben Zwycky]

old habits die hard, eh?

[Ben Zwycky]

*back to the subject at hand*

Unfortunately, this situation in other ways reminds me of the rest of my long-distance relationships, where the amorous affection was totally one-way (me to her). Take it gently, and build the friendship, because that is what will make any future marriage a strong one.

My next piece of advice may seem a little odd, or obvious, but if you are really serious about this girl, then you have to make her an object of study. Find out how she thinks, how she looks at the world, what her life priorities are, what she most looks forward to and is afraid of, in which ways she most naturally gives and accepts affection, which things are precious to her and which are meaningless.

A couple of major issues to consider- does she share your sense of humour and is she going in the same spiritual direction as you? IÔÇÖm not saying those are problems that canÔÇÖt be overcome, but they are major causes of breakdown in marriages and long-term relationships.

Love (I mean real love, not just the fireworks, though they are great) is not a feeling, and its not something that just happens to you. ItÔÇÖs a daily decision to be kind, considerate, sensitive, patient and humble with that other person, to do something good for them without requiring something in return. Some days (and moments) your feelings make that easier, sometimes they make that harder, but if you work at it consistently, you can reach a depth of relationship that few experience, and that is to their great loss.