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You know you're a NOOB when....


Matchoo
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When you take minor damage to your ship and think "Oh it will only take 2 minutes to repair"....

I damaged my own ship because I wanted to see how long it would take... imagine my surprise when it takes 15 minutes (estimate) to fix a system down to 80% with all 10 System Engineers on it.

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When you try to deploy marines against a Gammulan starbase yourself using a Mk3 shuttle. Only to be blasted out of the sky by the SAMs.

(Took me a few times to figure out they were what was shooting me down. After that the transporter became a very good friend...it and gurilla tactics)

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Guest bogusheadbox

When the only enemy ship in the vacinity is a little fighter and is in hyperjump to my CC. I think no problem my pta's will deal with it when it get here.

Mistake no.1 PTA's offline.

Shields now horribly low and almost out. I am panicking. Need to take evasive manouvers.

So i disengage autopilot. Grab the stick and pull and twist into the tightest turn possible to get out of the firing line.

(Hull severly damaged and every system has taken a beating)

Mistake number 2. When i disengaged Autopilot and initiated manouveres. I forgot to set thrust factor.

So all i was doing was turning on the spot letting the fighter give me an "all over tan"

Did that last night. D'oh!!!

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When you sell items to a station, you look at the amount the station SELLS it for and think that is how much you are getting instead of looking at the price the station BUYS them for.

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Guest bogusheadbox

You know you are a noob when......

I park my CC next to a station for defense as a battlecruiser is Hyper jumping to me for a bit of a scrap.

however the station alignment to me is neutral........ and apparently the same to the enemy battlecruiser........(start new game here)

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quote:

Originally posted by Joel Schultz:

Instruct your FC/SC's to Return To Base...only to have them take damage when they smack into your CC because you forgot to allocate power to Launch Control.

I remember doing that a long time ago.

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You hold down the SELL button for what seems to be forever to get rid of all the Potassium your mining droids picked up. w00t! $$$

Then you hold down the BUY button for an extended period of time to stock up on Plutonium.

As you exit the starstation you can't figure out why your shields won't charge up and then it hits you...

You mistakenly sold all your Plutonium and bought 4k of worthless Potassium

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you land on a planet..put out your drones...and go to bed. The next morning, you come back and can't figure out why MALFUNCTION is plastard across all your view screens....you look at logistics..saying to yourself: "WHAT the hell,"looking at your ship systems in logistics" nothings damaged...why won't my screens work?...you try to take off, to go to the space station, to see if they can fix your screens.....and find your engines dont work!!!

ONLY then, do you think to check how much fuel you have!!! ...all the while questioning where the fuel went ..."MAYBE next time..if I **FIRST** turn OFF the ENGINES ???

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quote:

Originally posted by street:

you land on a planet..put out your drones...and go to bed. The next morning, you come back and can't figure out why MALFUNCTION is plastard across all your view screens....

Never go to sleep and leave Resnig in charge

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  • 4 weeks later...

...You're reading the section of the manual on the cloaking device when you come across 'telltale static ping' and go 'HUH?' Then see your systems screens flicker with static for a second, followed by a carrier decloaking and reducing your PUNY armed freighter to something akin to SLAG.

And all you can do is blink...

-----

...When you exit a planet to go to the local station and wonder why the heck you can't hyperjump the 900 KM range to it.

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  • 9 months later...

When you exit from a planet after finally getting two full drones full of minerals and ore only to see an enemy carrier coming to bear on you.... And you think it wants only the cargo..

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  • 5 weeks later...

Starting a career as EF-Pilot, then trying to reach the next enemy ground base. My fighter ran out of energy shortly before I reached it. The last klicks on foot, then a glorios attack via laser-pistol. Well... I managed to kill one marine....

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  • 2 weeks later...

When you think "nice planet, let's land to admire it", and then realize that Jupiter don't have a ground in fact.

When you think you are a great commander (after having capture a dozen starstations) landing on a planet, and try to exit in first person mode for the first time.

Looking at the keyboard commands you just read : f,z = jetpack hoover. Using z "-wow i'm flying, flying, flying...", release "-let's go back to ground" and finaly hurt yourself to death, like a fly collide to a car windscreen.

When you try to tow a disabled sol-air vehicle whit your CC.

When you think " let's destroy this station with my powerfull STS-STARFLASH missiles"

When you get your first RANDOM missille, and use it to the first planet you find, witch is actually only inhabited by ally/neutral.

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When you sit for FIVE MINUTES scratching your head, wondering why the hell your dead pilots won't start the cloning process. Then your eyes wander towards the lower right corner and FINALLY register the nondescript grey letters forming the phrase: "Medical officer is unavailable".

Then you spend another TWENTY MINUTES before you activate your Tactical computer and discover the Medical officer is off duty.

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