Parents - Stopping kids from biting.

[Guest $iLk]

This is the one thing I can't comprehend. The only time I really get onto my kids is when they are sitting there biting the crap out of each other. They don't quite draw blood, but they leave marks that don't go away for a couple days.

It's usually when one of them has gotten hold of a toy the other one wants, or has the pillow the other one wants... and then usually Chad (the oldest) will latch on to Josh's arm or leg until Josh starts crying and runs to me.

Chad then runs to one of his favorite hiding spots (face down on the couch in full view/face down on his bed in full view) and then acts like it's a big surprise when I come into the room with a stern voice and a "WHAT DID YOU DO TO JOSH?" on my tongue.

When they first came over here from my grandparent's in MS, they were like two animals... for the most part I broke them of it by them knowing they would get in trouble for doing it. But are there any ways to get them to quit besides swatting them on the arm or leg and saying "Don't bite!"?

[LostInSpace]

quote:

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Originally posted by $iLk:

This is the one thing I can't comprehend. The only time I really get onto my kids is when they are sitting there biting the crap out of each other. They don't quite draw blood, but they leave marks that don't go away for a couple days.

It's usually when one of them has gotten hold of a toy the other one wants, or has the pillow the other one wants... and then usually Chad (the oldest) will latch on to Josh's arm or leg until Josh starts crying and runs to me.

Chad then runs to one of his favorite hiding spots (face down on the couch in full view/face down on his bed in full view) and then acts like it's a big surprise when I come into the room with a stern voice and a "WHAT DID YOU DO TO JOSH?" on my tongue.

When they first came over here from my grandparent's in MS, they were like two animals... for the most part I broke them of it by them knowing they would get in trouble for doing it. But are there any ways to get them to quit besides swatting them on the arm or leg and saying "Don't bite!"?

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Well, one drastic measure would be to have the teeth extracted. I don't know their ages but if they are very young don't worry about it because it's only their baby teeth and the final set of teeth will grow in eventually. Second and less drastic would be to rub Cod liver oil on both or the main victim of the teeth attack. Trust me there's not a person on this planet that can stand the flavor of Cod liver oil. So the next time either one tries to take a bite they will be met with such a nasty taste that I'd think they'd think not twice but three times before biting again. Well, if you can't stand the smell of fish permeating the house, try this the next one that bites tell him he won't eat for a day and then take everyone out to Mcdonalds, including the perp, and have everyone but him have a good ol' shoveling that food right in front of the perp. Check out this one out Kids Biting maybe that's a better start in to understanding the biting.

[echo]

A drop of vanilla on the tounge of the biter. I guess it is unpleaseant. Me and my son saw a friend put it on her kids tounge...she responded like I used to with the Tobasco....Now it is a threat around here, haven't had to use it yet though.

[KreKol]

If they have been biting each other for a while you are going to have a hard time getting them to stop. What it all comes down to what kind of discipline they respond to. A good example is my son. He is a year and a half old. The boy has my pain tolerance. So when my wife gives him a swat, he looks at her like she is trying to beat a horse with a q-tip. She now has to set him in his bed and he does not like that one bit. Me on the other hand when I discipline him all I have to do is talk to him in a stern voice and tap him with one of my fingers. Find out what works for you and do it every time they bite and you will see the problem fad away. It will take some time and effort.

[echo]

$ilk!!!

Thanks for jinxing me...since posting my daughter has bitten her brothers face and my butt!

I actually gave her a bit of hot sauce she grinned and said "mmmmmm"

[Steve Schacher]

quote:

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It's usually when one of them has gotten hold of a toy the other one wants... for the most part I broke them of it by them knowing they would get in trouble for doing it.

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The problem is that [the ubiquitous] "they" progress from teeth (the built-in weapon) to knives to guns (thank heaven they don't have claws (cut their fingernails often, or they'll bite those, too)).

First it is toys, then girls, then who knows what.

I think the answer, from a parent, is strict values, and no deviation from punishment whatever the extenuating circumstances when they are young. What it ultimately comes down to, at a child's young age, is testing the bounds of what they can get away with from their parents. It's biting a sibling today, lying and blaming the sibling tomorrow, then general disrespect in the future.

Also, punishment comes in several forms. The classic form is of positive and negative punishment and reinforcement. The smart parent will know when to use which.

Definitions:

Positive: Giving

Negative: Taking away

Punishment: Bad

Reinforcement: Good

Think of it as a four cell matrix with the following dimensions:

o across the top goes punishment and reinforcement

o across the left goes positive and negative

Fill in the cells with the following concepts:

1. Positive Reinforcement: Giving something good

2: Negative Reinforcement: Taking away something good

3. Positive Punishment: Giving something bad

4. Negative Punishment: Taking away something bad

Examples:

1. Positive Reinforcement: An extra half-hour of TV time, or staying up later, or more game time

2. Negative Reinforcement: no dessert, no cookies

3. Positive Punishment: grounding, no tv, no phone, no playing with friends, early bedtime

4. Negative Punishment: resuming going out with friends, resuming normal bedtime, resuming playing games, resuming watching TV

Depending on the infraction, use the appropriate response. When the child's behavior improves, reward by either giving a positive or removing a negative.

Anyway, that's one theory.

[Guest]

Bah, you dont need to do all that new age punishment/reward hippie solutions.

My sister and I used to get into real ugly fights when we were under 10.

One day we were visiting my grandma's house and we got into one of those kicking/biting/pushing fights, my dad decided he had had enough of trying my mom's verbal warning/punishment/etc..

we got smacked so hard in the butt I tell ya it STOPPED.

Next day we *almost* got into another fight (we had slept over at grandma's house, dad was at work)... and lo and behold, we got smacked again..by grandma.

Never got into any physical fights ever again since then.

Though I must admit, I lose every verbal fight with my sis. Women have so many advantages there its just not worth it. I keep quiet.

[Guest $iLk]

I've tried the time-out things... it works in getting them to scream and holler until they get to go play again... at which point they repeat behavior that got them in time-out again.

Usually that means it's bed-time so I stick them in a room by themself and don't let them get out until they take a nap... they are usually fine after nap until one of them gets ahold of a toy...

I even buy two of every toy... even if they are totally identical... whichever one the other is holding is the best one.

Probably shouldn't have taught my oldest son to say "Sharing is tommunist!" Might be instilling the opposite values he would learn in school.

[Kalshion]

Its unfortanent, that you can't bestow the type of punishment that was used in the past

(IE, spanking there butts, or some other forms that caused the child to RESPECT there parent and there sibbling)

Unfortantly, once a child gets into school he begins to learn that he can get away with stuff, he can also get away with name calling and soon learns that he can insult his parents and there is hardly anything they can do. Most parents think that the school will take care of there problems, where in reality the schools just make the problems worse

I have no right giving you suggestions on how to raise you're kids, granted im just a child really (18 years old, but in my family 18 years and under is still considered a child)

However, it might be best to excercise caution when you're children start going to school (if they havn't already), if they start learning things you want them to learn then you might have to up the punishment (my father did that to me when I first learned about the F word.. god I will never that type of punishment, still have that taste in my mouth)

[Guest]

I agree, but the thing is, when words dont work, what else is there? Telling a kid that keeps breaking things not to do it and they still keep doing it... well, a good smack and it will stop.

Words have to be backed up by actions.

And that almost got me into typing something about the UN in this thread

[Guest $iLk]

I hate to have to spank my children... it's old fashioned, but it does work. I don't need to take it to the extreme as my own father did... it was a constant threat hanging over my head if I didn't breathe right... he didn't reserve it to teach me anything... he reserved it to punish me for anything and everything he didn't like.

The psychological impact alone made me hate him for awhile... but I have to give him credit... I grew up with some good values... and me and him get along fine now after hardly talking for a couple of years.

[GREG MILLER]

Biting???? My brother's kid would just punch out the kid holding the toy he wanted, didn't matter if it was a boy or a girl. Every family gathering was the same, if someone started cryin, we were looking for Ken Jr. (We are talking 3 years old here!)