Jump to content
3000AD Forums
Sign in to follow this  
LostInSpace

JOKE OF THE DAY

Recommended Posts

How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Avg. Engineer = 180 pounds Avg. Engineer can lift 1/2 body weight over his head 180/2=90 Pounds Avg. Light bulb = 4 oz. = .25 Pounds (1 Eng/90 pounds) * (.25 pounds) = 0.00277777778 engineers to change a bulb.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This one is medical:

A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"

5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do The Hokey Pokey...."

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

LOL, too good.

OK, golf joke.....

A guy walks into the golf club after 18 holes of golf.

Manager walks up and asks him how his game was.

"Well, the game was great up to the 2nd hole, then Harry had a heart attack and died right on the spot.

The rest of the game was pretty well gone after that, take a shot, drag Harry, take a shot, drag Harry, we should have rented a damned golf cart...."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Joe and Harry were on the 18th tee and Harry was looking forward to a nice cool beer in the clubhouse.

Since Joe had won honors on the tee, he was up first. After teeing up his ball, he looked down the fairway and stepped up to address the ball. Joe situated his feet, looked down the fairway and proceeded to wiggle his driver and replant his stance for several minutes. Continuously looking up to glance down the fairway.

Harry was thirsty and finally said,"What's the problem, Joe?!!"

Joe replied,"Look down there, that's my wife standing on the clubhouse balcony and I want to hit a perfect shot."

Harry replied, "Forget it Joe, you can't hit her from here!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×