LostInSpace Posted June 25, 2004 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2004 How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Avg. Engineer = 180 pounds Avg. Engineer can lift 1/2 body weight over his head 180/2=90 Pounds Avg. Light bulb = 4 oz. = .25 Pounds (1 Eng/90 pounds) * (.25 pounds) = 0.00277777778 engineers to change a bulb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gol_Stoan Posted June 29, 2004 Report Share Posted June 29, 2004 This one is medical: A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies: 1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before." 2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?" 3. "Can you hear me NOW?" 4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!" 5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" 6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married." 7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?" 8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do The Hokey Pokey...." 9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!" 10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!" 11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity." 12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?" 13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 1, 2004 Report Share Posted July 1, 2004 LOL, too good. OK, golf joke..... A guy walks into the golf club after 18 holes of golf. Manager walks up and asks him how his game was. "Well, the game was great up to the 2nd hole, then Harry had a heart attack and died right on the spot. The rest of the game was pretty well gone after that, take a shot, drag Harry, take a shot, drag Harry, we should have rented a damned golf cart...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolferz Posted July 2, 2004 Report Share Posted July 2, 2004 Joe and Harry were on the 18th tee and Harry was looking forward to a nice cool beer in the clubhouse. Since Joe had won honors on the tee, he was up first. After teeing up his ball, he looked down the fairway and stepped up to address the ball. Joe situated his feet, looked down the fairway and proceeded to wiggle his driver and replant his stance for several minutes. Continuously looking up to glance down the fairway. Harry was thirsty and finally said,"What's the problem, Joe?!!" Joe replied,"Look down there, that's my wife standing on the clubhouse balcony and I want to hit a perfect shot." Harry replied, "Forget it Joe, you can't hit her from here!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostInSpace Posted December 28, 2004 Author Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 Why were men created before women? Because you always need to do a rough draft before you get it right. Ouch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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