scorchedearth Posted March 11, 2004 Report Share Posted March 11, 2004 THE YEAR 2003'S BEST ACTUAL HEADLINES! -------------------------------------------------- * CRACK FOUND ON GOVERNOR'S DAUGHTER * SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS * POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS * IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS * IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS * PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE * PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER * TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS * MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH * JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT * WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE * IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY. IT MAY LAST A WHILE * COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES * COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE * RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES * TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD * MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGE * NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP * ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT * KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS * CHEF THROWS HIS HEART INTO HELPING FEED NEEDY * LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF * HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supreme Cmdr Posted March 11, 2004 Report Share Posted March 11, 2004 LOL!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkling Posted March 11, 2004 Report Share Posted March 11, 2004 quote:Originally posted by Blerm: THE YEAR 2003'S BEST ACTUAL HEADLINES! ------------------------------------------------- quote: * CRACK FOUND ON GOVERNOR'S DAUGHTERStrange stuff comes out of it they say quote:* SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS Ordinary folks couldn't figure out why the plane went "BOOM" quote:* POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERSPolice were quoted "We can Jayrun faster than they can Jaywalk" quote:* IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS It's just too dificult to get anything done without them quote:* IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS Then try the new & improved Charmin quote:* PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE Please don't condemn us! quote:* PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER Dammit, I'll show you how it's done! quote:* TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDSThe stress of the low paying job finally got to them and they just "Snapped". quote:* MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH They say that have a right to move on to the Afterlife. quote:* JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT It's very dificult, since he keeps jumping around. quote:* WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE Furthur study is needed on the "War" issue before we can know how it will affect Peace. quote:* IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY. IT MAY LAST A WHILE IF STRIKE IS SETTLED QUICKLY IT MAY BE OVER. quote:* COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES Somehow it makes the thermometer move, like majic! quote:* COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE Life is like a box of choc-o-lates, but death, we dunno what that is. quote:* RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES Something must be done, Adhesive wearing thin. quote:* TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD Where did all these bodies come from? quote:* MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGE After he was caught "Fondaling a Die-Hard" quote:* NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP The existing group was just too thin. quote:*ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT I'm sorry, I just couldn't produce enough to keep us up there. Next time I'll eat my beans, I promise! quote:* KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS And they're REALLY tasty! quote:* CHEF THROWS HIS HEART INTO HELPING FEED NEEDY Needy says it was very tasty, Chef goes missing. quote:* LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF That'll Learn 'em! quote:* HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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