Jump to content
3000AD Forums
Sign in to follow this  
admiraltigerclaw

Just when you thought it was safe in the UC universe...

Recommended Posts

Somewhere near Earth, an event was transpiring...

It might have been a scientific accident, an intended test, or even a madd scheme by a lunatic, but in the end we all know the truth.

The Author was playing a joke on his avatar once more...

It happened four-hundred kilometers from GALCOM HQ, a type 0 Station in Earth Orbit. Subspace began to warp with normal spacetime like a massive Hyperion Subspace Device.

Then with a recoil snap-back that could be heard, despite the fact that space cannot carry sound, by EVERYONE within the EARTH AREA, something appeared in that spot.

Alarms went off on every ship in the system. COMBAT ALERT STATUS. The unknown threat had suddenly appeared, and got in without coming NEAR a jumpgate.

Strangly enough, subspace radio was instantly jammed by the ship playing the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Higher Ground... on all frequencies.

GALAXIUS had arrived.

Admiral Tigerclaw(ATC): Blast it all, WHERE ARE WE?

NAV: Appears to be Earth Sir.

ATC: Earth? WELL OF COURSE EARTH! What I mean is, what Universe are we in THIS TIME?

NAV: Not a clue sir...

Arteficial Logic Library Intelligence Core Emotional(ALLICE): I have no clue sir... but perhaps if you ask the locals... Oh dear.

ATC: *Sigh* What now?

ALLICE: I'm picking up several medium sized ships appraoching on what appears to be intercept courses. Many from the orbiting station.

ATC: Set the shields to defensive configuration and put ten phoenix Bombers on standby alert.

ALLICE: Yessir. Would you like me to get you a combat assessment?

ATC: Please do... *Sits down in command chair.*

ALLICE: Six Carrier type vessels, each containing what appear to be eight fightercraft each-

ATC: Only eight?

ALLICE: -appear to be using a primitive form of hyperjump system that phases them partially into subspace to allow near lightspeed travel, but still unable to attain full Lightspeed capabilities... They're armaments seem to be composed of mostly low end charged particle cannons and laser cannons.

ATC: They expect to deal damage with that? Okay, what else? What's their power source?

ALLICE: All vessels appear to be running on the equivilant to class four nuclear reactors...

ATC: Fission or Fusion?

ALLICE: Unable to determine sir... It appears to be fission though, I'm detecting tanks filled with Irridium directly linked to them.

ATC: O_o; My goodness... Fission reactors on spacecaft? No fusion, antimatter... gravitron, or even quantum reactors?

ALLICE: No sir... as it stands, our Zeropoint reactor places us several exponential levels superior to their power systems.

ATC: Threat factor?

ALLICE: All six carrier level ships could impact us and blow their reactors, and they wouldn't even distort our shields.

ATC: ~_~; That low eh?

ALLICE: Sir, it's compairing the threat of a misquito to the well being of Mt. Everest.

ATC: Damage assessment if we engage?

ALLICE: One shot from a DHP turret would vaporize their ship, shields, armor, all.

ATC: Well, if our Double Heavy Plasma cannon turrets would vaporize them, I'd not like to think what our subspace shockwave cannons will do to them.

ALLICE: Sir, the term OVERKILL comes to mind.

ATC: How bad?

ALLICE: Using a hydrogen bomb to get rid of a fireant colony, like Pyro did that one time...

ATC: Pyro was in the right that time, you know how hard it is to get rid of fireants.

ALLICE: Anyway sir, the ships are emerging from their hyperjumps.

ATC: I'd rather not cause an InterUniversal incident at this point... Plot a course out of Earth Space... Take us out to the Asteroid Belt, make for Eros if you can.

ALLICE: Subspace sensors show Eros uninhabitted at this point, no energy signatures near it.

ATC: *Bringing up a holographic screen.* Yeah, good. Do it.

NAV: Rodger that sir, coordinets in. Accellerating and manuevering to jump vector Tsunami drive online... jump in five... four... three...

As the terran carriers closed to engagement range, the three thousand foot long, dagger shaped, ship in front of them lurched forwards, cruising towards and past them in a matter of seconds.

TA Carrier ONE: Unknown ship accellerating... Five hundred MPS, one thousand, two thousand, eight thousand, ten kilometers a sec, twenty, forty, eighty...

And then there was a flash from the engines, and GALAXIUS was gone so fast that the sensors only detected a strange jump anomoly crossing the system at high speed...

The anomaly was out of the area in four seconds.

TAC1: I've never seen anything like THAT. One second it's accellerating to WELL above our speed, then it's doing some kind of HYPERJUMP clear out of range in seconds... while STILL picking up speed.

Command Officer: Can you give me numbers?

TAC1: Based on accelleration, in five more seconds it would be doing roughly thirty times lightspeed.

Command Officer: Inform Supreme Commander... we have an unknown.

-----

ATC: The Author is putting us up to this, I just know it...

ALLICE: He IS the supreme force behind us sir.

ATC: True, but what could he be concieving in his twisted mind this time? Why send us to a universe where the ships are still using natural jump anomalies to do interstellar jumps?

ALLICE: Perhaps back in the Author's world, this universe is simply some game, and we're being sent here as conveyers of good will?

ATC: You don't send a GALAXIUS CLASS Command Cruiser, with a Zeropoint, who happens to be me, who happens to be FLEET COMMANDER for the GCFA, to a universe that only exists within' a game. That would tip the balance so much its rediculous.

ALLICE: He did that with you and JSW in Total Recoil. Remember? He sent you to the Sailor Moon universe where you proceded to stomp over the main villain cast. Your Zeropoint abilities were more than a match for the entire cast of all the seasons combined if I remember correctly.

ATC: Oh well, so I can tap the very energies of spacetime, big deal. I learned how to control it, and even created a reactor based off it, so sue me.

ALLICE: I couldn't sue the one I love...

ATC: Let's not fly off on a tangent... this isn't Zeropoint... you're supposed to behave like the AI core you are. As the Author hasn't written that part of the story where you've created a BIOengineered body for yourself.

ALLICE: I'm sorry sir.. So what should we do now?

ATC: *Closes a holoscreen.* We wait... Whoever's in charge will come hunting for us eventually. And then we can ask some questions, and maybe ask some of the Author...

ALLICE: Such as?

ATC: >_>

ATC: <_<

ATC: Why are we HERE? And why are we stuck in Rapid Diolog Mode?

As if to answer the question, the Author himself returned to narration. Tigerclaw simply shook his head and looked at the holographic image of Allice as they questioned their situation...

'Why were they here?' 'What will they do now?' and... ATC suddenly sat up straight in his chair...

"Where's BOB?" he asked?

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! RETREAT!!!!" The head marine shouted in terror. The man had just appeared inside the well secured compound and set about ripping things appart supposedly looking for, the kitchen. The Marine's entire contingent had been scrambled to contain him. Unfortunately, this man dressed in traditional japanese priest robes, weilding a gigantic sword, seemed completely immune to every weapon they tried. His power was phenominal, his voice alone had incapacitated half his forward party, and was now driving through them hacking away as if on a berserker rampage... And still he continued to shout.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!" He bellowed at a volume that cracked the ceramic armor of some nearby marines... "YOU REQUIRE TRAINING! COME TO BOB! BOB WILL TEACH YOU GREAT SKILL!!!!"

"Good GOD!" The marine yelled as he looked back... "Unit four! I need EVAC NOW! The whole base can be considered lost!"

Tigerclaw looked up at the narration, and slapped his hand to his face...

"Leave it to the Psycho Samurai to be completely uneffected by hostile fire. Or even effected by such things as PLOT consistency..." he grumbled...

Yes indeed folks. Admiral Tigerclaw has arrived. And with him comes his merry band of... Who am I KIDDING? Merry band? More like totally INSANE crew. It'll be non-stop madcap insanity from this point onward.

"I can only hope this Supreme Commander guy has a hefty amount of insurrance on his forum." Tigerclaw mumbled. "Because collatteral is ALWAYS a result of wherever I go... IS THERE NO GOD?!?!?!!?!?"

Actually, I believe he's on a coffee break, the ten thousand year long kind.

"Shutup you," Tigerclaw muttered at the Author. "Just end the post already..."

Done.

::TRANSMISSION TERMINATED::

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just a static blip on your radar display... Really, there's no one out here... I'm not out here in a Mk III with ten missiles set to you on FATAL. REALLY. Would I lie?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, sure, pick on the helpless runt in the Generis...pay no mind to that swarm of white dots surrounding my 'blip' on your scope...those arent crab mines, really!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

::RESUME TRANSMISSION::

WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR FEARLESS, CLUELESS HERO! HE WAS ON HIS WAY TO THE ASTEROID EROS... And he had just ONE thing to say when he got there...

"This is Eros?"

Tigerclaw stared at his holographic screen at the fifty meters of rock in front of GALAXIUS.

"What's left of it, so it seems," Allice commented. "But the contour pattern on the left side is a perfect match for a section of Eros. No other asteroid detected within the system has any matching features."

"I can't beleive that," Tigerclaw snapped. "There's NO WAY a civilization who's level of technology barely gets them lightspeed can have enough firepower to take out essentially a gigantic chunk of IRON."

"Don't forget that just because the tech is crude, doesn't mean it's not effective," Allice admonished.

"Yeah yeah, don't remind me," Tigerclaw muttered. "That whole Arcean VS Drengin incident proved the point quite well when the Drengi used that juri-rigged subspace shockwave cannon. The Arceans are REALLY lucky we were only half a parsec away. Anyway, I have other things to deal with. Perhaps I can get some answers if we find a good place to moniter subspace communications. SET A COURSE for Proxima Centauri!"

"Sensors show nothing AT Proxima Centauri sir," Allice advised.

"All the better to listen in on Subspace traffic," Tigerclaw grinned. "Standard cruise speed commander."

"Yes sir," the helmsman replied. "ETA Proxima Centauri at standard cruising speed, seven minutes."

"I just hope Bob isn't causing too much damage, wherever he is..." Tigerclaw muttered.

Oh the implications...

"WHERE'S MY EVAC?!" the marine shouted into his comm. "I'm desperate!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" Bob bellowed. The commanding Marine could only watch in sheer perplextion as this completely invulnerable foe proceded to use his seven foot Nodachi Sword to cleave an APC in two.

"What the hell?" he asked no one in particular, but then returned to reality. "What do you mean, DEAL WITH IT?!"

"You're on your own!" the shuttle pilot stated over his COMM. "We've got our OWN problem and-" He looked up as a tremendous explosion blew the Naval Cruiser nearby in half. "Oh my GOD! They got another one!"

"Who got another one?" a voice asked. The pilot jerked around in his seat to see some mustached man smiling out at the ensuing fireball.

"WHO ARE YOU!? HOW DID YOU GET ON HERE?!"

The man simply smiled.

"I'm Pyro... OOOOOOoooo... That was a good explosion. Lots of flamable liquids make for a nice fireball, and it seems to burn hotter," the man stated, in a rather absent minded matter. The pilot recoiled in horror!

"YOU! YOU DID ALL THIS!" he shouted, then spun to his comm and shouted some more. "This is BLUE BIRD ONE! I HAVE LOCATED ONE OF THE INTRUDERS! HE'S ABOARD MY SHIP! HE'S INSANE I TELL YOU!" He spun back around to shout at Pyro, but he was nowhere to be seen in the shuttle. In his place, the components to one of the OTS missiles he's been carried lay open and jury-rigged to a simple timer device.

"WHAT?! HOW DID HE MANAGE TO ARM THE BUNGOR SO FAST?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!~"

The resulting blast obliterated the fleet that had been ravaged by many smaller explosions... Pyro watched from a nearby beach, sporting a pair of sunglasses and a martini.

"Now THAT's what I call an explosion," he smiled. "Who would have thought I'd find a nuclear device around here? I love physics..."

Up in space, a cloaked Insurgent Stormcarrier watched the carnage unfold. The tactical officer turned to his commander.

"I don't know who's down there," he stated, but their doing a better job than we would." The commander turned off his TACOPS computer and looked over at his helmsman.

"Discretion is the better part of Valor," he muttered. "Let's put the operation on hold until we know what's going on. RETURN TO BASE!"

"How many millions was that damage Pyro caused?" Tigerclaw asked, an 'oh dear god not again' look on his face. Allice responded curtly.

"More than his Salary covers sir,"

"I'm gonna kill him," he grumbled. "Then I'm gonna have Megumi ressurrect him so I can kill him AGAIN." Tigerclaw grumbled rather loudly as he continued to watch the narrated events, knowing that only PART of his crew of dangerous lunatics had been accounted for.

"Why is it every time we dimension hop, THEY end up in the most inoppertune places?" he asked.

"A hole in the Plot sir," Allice stated. Tigerclaw smacked his hand to his face.

"End the Post," he muttered. "I want to be alone..."

DONE

::TRANSMISSION TERMINATED::

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

quote:

Originally posted by Bandus:

:scratches his head:

You are not the only one, and I think mine is bleeding.

Read some more of his posts and yours will too...

Such as This one...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

quote:

Originally posted by jamotto:

quote:

Originally posted by Jaguar:

Such as
one...

what was wrong with it Jaguar? Admiral Tigerclaw has one heck of a imagination you have to admit.


Yep, heck of an imagination..... Remember This?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

quote:

Originally posted by Admiral Tigerclaw:

I have certain POWERZ... such as the ability to turn your minds to MUSH just by speaking...

Either way, I'm sure my Avatar is getting a headache...

A.Tigerclaw

Fleet Command: GCFA

"What do you mean 'We can't random jump'!? Pick up the number pad, punch in whatever buttons you think look pretty and hit the 'ENGAGE HYPERDRIVE PROFILE' button! JUST GET US OUT OF HERE!"

-Tigerclaw, upon discovering the ship didn't have a Random Jump feature...

System Profile Information

-The following was painted on the hull. "Beware of Attack Samurai"

Ship theme song: Red Hot Chili Peppers, Higher Ground


Tigerclaw, please read This...

This applies to EVERYONE by the way....

I am going to have some REAL free time this week, so, Don't let me have fun on your account.... Literally, on your account, you have until Thursday commanders, everyone check his or her sig for compliance please.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So, because I am head of the GCFA, which has nothing to do with UC, I have to remove it then huh? Alright. I shall comply... *Removes fleet, then rearranges some unneeded extra wording to compress siggie...*

The GCFA inquiries council is SO going to chew me out... Good thing I'm in charge and not them...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you, Douglas Adams.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tiger Claw

I'm trying NOT to join in

I'm in about roughly 50+ Different Roleplaying Genra's now.. I'm REALLY trying to cut back here

But, if you don't mind another crazy imagination freak to join yer story then I guess I can give it a wireal*sp* just send me a PM with stuff that you do not want me to do (kill off you're crew in one hit type of stuff , even though I would never do that)

Anywho, Jag, you mean to tell me you can't tell who Tigerclaw is?

My own obversations..

Tigerclaw is an imagenitive person, his creativeness is one of the highest I've seen in the roleplaying world. Not many people possess that ability to roleplay AND use there imagenation at the same time

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Quoted by Kalshion

quote:

Tigerclaw is an imagenitive person, his creativeness is one of the highest I've seen in the roleplaying world. Not many people possess that ability to roleplay AND use there imagenation at the same time


I have to agree. This is some of the best writing I've seen in a long time. I'm having a blast reading it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×