Jump to content
3000AD Forums
Sign in to follow this  
Supreme Cmdr

Health Q&A

Recommended Posts

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste

them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart

will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life

of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and

corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an

efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?

Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy

vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily

allowance of vegetable products.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to

one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating a regular exercise

program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In

fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for

you?

Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?

A: Thicker gravy.

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the

middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should

only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's

the best feel good food around!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about

food and diets.

Now go have a cookie...flour is a veggie!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

LOL, those were good.

This one....

quote:

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.

Hmm, hey honey, come here, I want to exercise a muscle and make it bigger...... LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

quote:

Hmm, hey honey, come here, I want to exercise a muscle and make it bigger...... LOL

eventually, the... erm... thing you are thinking of is no muscle

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

quote:

Originally posted by Hasenau:

quote:

Hmm, hey honey, come here, I want to exercise a muscle and make it bigger...... LOL

eventually, the... erm... thing you are thinking of is no muscle


Speak for yourself...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×