Jump to content
3000AD Forums
Sign in to follow this  
Kalshion

!Bon Voyage!

Recommended Posts

A little something I received after Bush won

Special Notice from Carnival Cruise Lines: THE EX-PATRIOT CRUISE!!!

We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn't forget that a lot of liberals had promised to leave the country if George W. Bush became President. With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who still want to keep their promise!

Attention: Would Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell, Ed Asner, Whoopi Goldberg, Cher, Phil Donahue, Rob Reiner, Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, Pierre Salinger, Danny Glover, and anyone else who made that promise:

Please dispose of all US assets and report to the Port of Miami for the sailing of the Funship Cruise, "Elation" which has been commissioned to take you to your deluxe new vacation huts in Iran. You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or the Sudan - whereby your huts will be replaced by tent to be constructed by hand especially for you by Oscar winner Sean Penn.

The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor through the Intracoastal Waterway down Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise.

Side cruises will be available to Cuba will be guided by your special tour hosts, Robert Redford, Oliver Stone, Steven Spielberg and Barbara Walters. Cuban rum,Mojitos and Cuban cigars will be available at a nominal fee. Squalor will be complimentary.

Please pack for an extended stay... Of at least four more years of life, liberty and the pursuit of expatriate freedom.

Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you will not allowed bring any.

Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain,

John Kerry as tugboat captain,

Al Gore as cruise director,

Monica Lewinsky as recreation director,

Ted Kennedy as lifeguard, bartender, and emergency procedures director

Ex-Congressman Gary Condit as intern coordinator,

Teresa Heinz-Kerry as etiquette coordinator,

John Edwards as hair salon stylist,

Dr. Jack Kevorkian as vaccinations coordinator,

and last but not least...

the Honorable Dan Rather as the communications director and Visa documents verifier.

Special guest stars scheduled to be flown in include Bruce Springsteen,the Dixie Chicks and John Mellencamp.

If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator Hillary Clinton. Her village can raise your children while you're gone, and she can watch over all your money and your furnishings until you return.

Ship sails promptly on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - at 4:00 PM est - so make your reservations now! Limited space available.

!Bon Voyage!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×