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Every joke has a little bit of truth in it (or a lot)


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A young woman was about to finish her first year of college.

Like so many others her age, she considered herself

to be a very liberal Democrat, and was very much in

favor of the redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a

rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly

expressed. Based on the lectures that she had

participated in, and the occasional chat with a

professor, she felt that her father had for years

harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he

thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his

opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the

addition of more government welfare programs.

The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her

professors had to be the truth and she indicated

so to her father.

He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she

had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to

maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult

course load and was constantly studying, which left

her no time to go out and party like other people she

knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend,

and didn't really have many college friends

because she

spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked,

"How is your friend Audrey doing?"

She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by.

All she takes are easy classes, she never studies,

and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular

on campus, college for her is a blast. She's always

invited to all the parties, and lots of times she

doesn't even show up for classes because she's

too hung over."

Her father asked his daughter,

"Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him

to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your

friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both

have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that

would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's

suggestion, angrily fired back, "That wouldn't

be fair! I have worked really hard for my grades!

I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard


Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree.

She played while I worked my tail off!"

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently,

"Welcome to the Republican Party."

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  • 1 month later...

Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably

never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows

them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men pass gas more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to

build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the

front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told.

I married Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.


have discovered a food that diminishes

a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

Women will never be equal to men until

they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

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Nope, not single and I've never been forced to sleep on the couch unless she was snoring too loud

I did however forget to add the last two lines in the joke, which was sent to me by my brother.

Send this to your male friends who need a good laugh or to your female friends that can handle the truth

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