Long and amazing...the story I mean.

[Scotty]

I've had this ready for some time, but needed to steel myself in case it wasn't a hit. I also double checked my assumptions against the 2.08 manual and fixed those that were inaccurate.

Prelude: I am by all intents and purposes for this story the Chief Engineer, Scotty. Total freak of accident, I assure you. But, nevertheless, I am. My story will be told from him. Anybody who wishes to add his or her own or expand upon my story may do so, and I welcome it. For those who haven't read anything from me yet, just fasten your seat belt, this is going to be a bit on the wild side. Let's see what you folks are made of. Ready...Set...GO!

[RP on]

"Aye, she's a beut', all right." I thought out loud to no one in particular, and just as quickly wondered why I was thinking in Scottish, as I gazed out the shuttle view port to the shipyards holding my new ship, the "Prinor" - short for Pride and Honor. Well, not really mine, but knowing my commander, Michael Snow, I will put enough of my energy keeping this ship together to make her breathe like my own.

Commander Snow, or Commander Snow Job as everyone calls him to his back, has a reputation for getting into the worst of situations, all through no fault of his own, except possibly the last one. That one sent our ship to the repair docks for months, and it started out as a simple enough patrol out in the Pluto sector.

{Fading to recent memory}

During a standard patrol, an SOS was received from a distressed transport. Their engine was having overload problems and the crew didn't feel comfortable continuing the way it was. The transport was at least sixty years old and didnÔÇÖt look to be any less than one-hundred sixty years old. Snow offered to tow them to their sister ship, now stationed at the Pluto star station, Gazer1. The only stipulation was that we needed to stop by one last jump point to finish up our patrol. The transport crew was delighted and gratefully accepted the offer. They proceeded to take their core off-line and we 'hooked' them up with the tractor beam.

Just after we arrived on station at JMP-12, the Pluto to Earth jump point, three insurgent medium class Starlance fighters and one Starwarrior heavy cruiser appeared through it just below and off our bow.

Thinking to put an end to the whole affair rather quickly, Snow ordered "Nose down, full stop, launch all fighters, weapons up, IOD to 40%, shields up...belay that, shields down...shields to be raised on my mark". The reasoning for the shields to wait was that IC-3 was having problems with its shield modulation software and needed the shields down for docking and recovery.

The orders were carried out to the letter. Nose went down to face the fighters...six seconds later full stop was reached. Weapons and IOD active in the interim. IC-1 and IC-2 launched. IC-3 launching. IC-4 on station awaiting an engineer to finish tightening the last attaching clamps around the new HUD it had just received. Shields raised then lowered, exactly on cue from the commander. Thus the tractor beam was automatically disengaged. Exactly nine point four seconds after first contact with the enemies, the forward momentum of the transport caused it to strike our battle cruiser below and aft. It was very lucky for us that the captain of the transport at least had his wits about him. He immediately ordered for full thrusters to try to bring the nose of his

ship down, somewhat easing the damage to both ships. But not by much.

The impact of such a large and overburdened transport into the naked hull of a battlecruiser, with or without shields up, is something only nightmares are made out of. The cooling clamps for the main reactor were immediately shattered and the impact drove the battlecruiser into the flight path of IC-3, ending both pilots distinguished careers rather quickly. After I pulled myself back up from the floor, nearly 20 meters from where I had been sitting two seconds ago, I automatically recognized the distinct alarm of reactor overheat. With about thirty seconds before overload and not enough time to repair, I ordered the core ejected. And that would've been the end of it, but with a disabled transport just below the ejection port on the battlecruiser, the core had an obstacle in its way. Fortunately, the designers of the BFCoreEjectorSystem had planted enough high explosive energy into it that the core ripped through the upper hull of the transport and back out the bottom. However, having done this, the core had slowed to such a pace that it would never reach the distance necessary for a safe core explosion.

The docking clamps that held IC-4 in place were all that saved the fragile fighter during the first collision by the transport. So with the tech finished, it left the comfort of its command vessel and was flying around and under both large ships to try to sneak in on the dog fighting.

As IC-4 circled under the transport, now with a gaping hole on the underside of it, the core that was previously ejected, exploded. The brave pilots of IC-4 never even new they died.

Simultaneously, the now very crippled transport took a shockwave that threatened to tear her apart. As it was previously using its thrusters to push itself away from the jack ass military ship that stopped right in front of it, the force from the explosion rammed the transport back into said jack ass military ship. Thus damage to our battlecruiser was intensified, but not nearly as bad as the transport, now with radiation and structural integrity alarms screaming throughout her.

The insurgents, having realized the predicament their opposition was in, and probably having a hard time concentrating while laughing, immediately started strafing runs across our hull. Adding the occasional missile didn't help things either...at least from our point of view. Fortunately, the Starwarrior didnÔÇÖt decide to join in...yet.

IC-1 and IC-2 were superb dogfighters. They formed a team almost unstoppable in any combat situation. Through sheer determination and awesome tactics, along with one remaining IOD cannon and tons of luck, they had the three insurgent fighters mopped up rather quickly. It was just at this point that the Starwarrior decided to come into the battle. Stipulation on the captainÔÇÖs motive has yet to be agreed upon. But this imbecile came directly at us at what appeared to be ramming speed. I still think that he was just trying to scare the living crap out of us. Which he did quite well I might add. But in the precious few minutes my team and I had, we were able to get at least the missle launcher working. Shields were still out though.

Commander Snow ordered the fighters behind us to try to catch the cruiser as it would be turning around to come after us again, assuming it didnÔÇÖt ram us, and to dumb fire the first two missiles available. He didnÔÇÖt care what they were, just ÔÇ£launch the damn things in a straight line towards the oncoming shipÔÇØ. As I learned later, his hope was to just get them to veer off and give us a chance for target lock next time. The first missile out was an STS-Starflash. Not much of a threat even if it did hit the target. But the second missile out wasnÔÇÖt a space to space missile at all. It was an OTS-Bugnor. The crew was apparently having weapons loading drills right before we picked up the freighter and never got back to replacing the correct sequence of missiles. Nonetheless, the oncoming ship didnÔÇÖt veer off at all. The first missile struck the port nacelle. This had the effect of pushing the ship slightly starboard. The opposing captain apparently corrected his course back in line with us. For when the second ÔÇÿmissileÔÇÖ hit a few seconds later, after all, an OTS is much slower than an STS, it hit directly under the nose.

Now not being a weapons engineer, I didnÔÇÖt even know if the OTS would explode in space. But it did. And how. Completely and utterly destroying the Starwarrior. There is nothing worse than just getting the barest systems back in line to have them knocked out again so quickly (well I suppose I couldÔÇÖve been on the Starwarrior and getting blown up by an OTS). This time the explosion sent a shockwave that took us directly on the forward upper decks. Of course, because the freighter had hit us previously, it had transferred some of its momentum to us and our two ships were separated at the time...at least until we came crashing back on top of it. Furthering the damage to both ships, again.

After the whole affair, the captain of the transport vehemently refused any more offers of help. His original crew of three was still in one piece, but suffering badly. Between the broken bones, cuts, scrapes, bruises and radiation from an exploding core just below their ship, they were probably within their rights not to want any more help... at least not from us.

In fact, Snow had to call out for help himself, what with the core gone, most of first deck crushed, dozens of personnel in and around medbay, two fighters lost, all shuttles disabled or destroyed in their bays, you know, severe battle damage.

{Back to present}

"The good old days", I mused as I re-thought that battle. The fighter jocks on that particular ship were the best; they definitely saved all our butts that time. I would hate to think what wouldÔÇÖve happened if the enemy fighters hadnÔÇÖt been destroyed before that cruiser entered the scene.

I still couldn't believe that Snow had command of any ship after that fiasco. There were hearings over the matter and Snow was found not guilty due to a few technicalities. Of all things, the tractor beam settings were set to tight; thus the towed transport was eighty meters closer to the battlecruiser than is standard. The court ruled that if the tractor beam had been set properly, or loosely, in my mind, the transport would've had time to avoid our battlecruiser. So in essence, they put the blame on me. That really riled up my red blood cells at the time, but the court decided not to press charges against me or put any mention of this ruling in my personal records. As it turned out, my adjustments to the tractor beam was saving the ship .8% in energy costs while in use. It was also decided to implement the design into all existing and future models, but with a memo to accompany it which warns all commanders that "...ships being towed in the future will be closer than before, so 'pay attention'...". Typical bureaucracy.

The other technicality was that the officer manning the shield controls was too fast. Can you imagine? Executing orders exactly on cue from your commander was now considered a bad thing. And the officer didnÔÇÖt yell loud enough over the chaos that the tractor beam was disengaged. Well, in my personal opinion, it is was SnowÔÇÖs duty to ensure that we were stopped before doing anything that disengaged the tractor beam. But I also know that when combat situations occur, little things are forgotten. Yeah, little things that can turn into big things.

"Approaching our new ship, Scotty".

I looked over at Commander Snow Job himself and chuckled. Snow was dressed, as all commanders are on their first date with a new ship, in his best uniform; stiff collar, shiny new buttons, glowing whites...the works.

"All dressed up with no place to go, eh Commander? Especially in this case since there is still a week until we leave dry dock, so to speak." I said smiling.

We are, of course, still going to have to test out the systems and you can't do that in a dock. But one week until we get the official send off.

Really, when it came down to it, I liked Snow. But he just had a knack of, not bad luck, but weird luck. Such as the time...

"Scotty, aren't you excited about getting aboard her? I don't think I've been this excited since my first command." More prodding from Commander Snow.

Shaken out of my thoughts, I said, "Yeah, I am. Just wondering what the construction yard engineers and technicians forgot to install or screwed up. There is nothing worse than taking a ship straight out of its initial construction. Even though everything is brand new, nothing works right the first time. And last I heard, they are still a good four days behind the latest schedule." Which put them a total of 117 days behind the original one.

Ten minutes later, Commander Snow and I were standing below the loading ramp of the shuttle that carried us to the Prinor. As it is my job to be the first officer aboard any ship I am chief engineer of, I am here now to make sure it is ready on time. As it is Commander Snow's job to be a pain in the ass at the most inopportune times, he is here as well. I really didn't need someone breathing down my neck as I struggle to do eleven days of work in only seven. Besides, I plan on doing my own breathing down other incompetent's necks.

Looking around the shuttle bay, I couldn't help but notice how clean everything was...and empty. There weren't cargo containers stacked in the corners, fluid stains on the deck, scoring on the walls, or even dust in the corners. Even the two crewmen doing last minute diagnostics and repair work on the far side of the bay were spotless. This ship had the look and feel of being brand new, which it is, but also of being untried and very fragile. Sometimes in the thick of things, I could've sworn the only thing holding our ship together was the dust and grime between the cracks.

"What do you think so far?" Snow said as he craned his neck around the shuttle bay himself.

"The paint looks good." I replied.

"Heh, heh. Always the pessimist, aren't you? You won't be happy with this ship until you tear her apart and put her back together again. Something of a strange goose, you are."

"You mean 'strange duck' I think. And yeah, it's hard to trust somebody else with something so important as your life. I mean, I trust you to get us into the deepest, most bizarre battles. But, I need to trust myself that the ship will get us out of it again. Without re-checking everything, I'll never know if something wasn't done up to specs, or better. And my life is very important to me, as is, dare I say it, yours too." Gawd, I hated saying that. I donÔÇÖt want him to know how much I like him.

"I agree wholeheartedly. I like me living as well. That's why I always do whatever I can to make sure you are on my ship.ÔÇØ Snow said, but getting more somber. ÔÇ£I know about the rumors concerning my...um...luck, or lack of. But, have you ever considered that both you and I are always together when something bad happens? You could be the unlucky one. Heh, bet you never thought of putting the blame on yourself, had you? And you shouldn't. It could be that unlucky things happen to us, but one of us brings enough good luck to get through it in the end."

"Think what you want, Snow. I make my own luck." Grimacing after saying that. Nothing like quoting something from a stupid holo-vid at a time like this. ÔÇ£And making sure this ship is top notch all the way is one of those ways. You just make sure that you don't try to take out a space station with this ship alone for a while, by the way. We are going to have enough green recruits on board, that we might have trouble with one small fighter."

"Or maybe we won't even get into orbit." Snow said smiling the whole way.

"Snow, I don't know about you. You of all people should know that the orbit function of ships this size were disabled over two years ago." I couldn't help laughing at the total stupidity of Snow's joke. Not funny at all, just too stupid not to be.

"Yeah, but why do they still put the orbit button on the main console and reference it in the operations manual is a mystery to meÔÇØ, Snow added.

"I don't know, maybe they'll find a use for it in the future and just re-label it to something else. Like maybe a button to..."

"ATTENTION ON DECK!" Blared the first technician to finally recognize the Commander on the ship.

I reckoned that enough shuttles have been transporting materials and personnel back and forth that Snow wouldn't have been recognized right away. That and the fact that his arrival was unannounced.

Both crewmen in the shuttle bay snapped to attention. Hilarious, when you look at it. The poor sap that hadn't noticed the Commander yet stood at attention facing the shuttle bay entrance. I suppose he was expecting someone to enter through there.

Snow just shook his head and grinned. "At ease, gentlemen. Pretend I'm not here right now. I would rather get this ship up and running than playing military right now."

Startled and now looking very embarrassed, the second crewman glared over to the first and whispered, "Why didn't you tell me he was over THERE", pointing with his finger.

"Well Scotty? Do you want to go to the bridge with me? See about all of the new enhancements that are supposed to be there?"

Oh, this is going to be good. I had heard some rumors about the bridge. Time to go see if they are true. "Sure. This might be the only opportunity I have to spend time up there this week."

Making it to the turbolift was somewhat comical. Everybody we met first had a look of surprise on their face, then struggled to get in proper form and salute the Commander and me as we passed by. Snow obviously enjoyed it, but then insisted on spouting the same rhetoric that he unloaded to the crew in the shuttle bay, but I could've done without it. At a time like this, every minute lost saluting and talking means it is another minute not spent working. Such is the military, I guess.

When the doors opened to the bridge, I immediately noticed that the rumors were true. Snow stood gaping into the bridge area, his eyes wide and a big grin on his face. He ever so slowly crept out of the lift and spread his arms wide.

"This is GREAT", he yelled, startling the half dozen technicians working in the area. And of course, they all stopped to salute. Snow quickly returned the salute a resumed his impression of hugging a house. "Absolutely incredible. Look at all the room, the lighting, and the viewscreen. Look at that viewscreen", he said again as he walked towards it. Wonderment is oozing out of him. He is in heaven.

Almost bursting out my own clothes, for another reason altogether, I couldn't wait any longer. "But Commander Snow? Where are you and the other officers going to sit?"

Just as quickly, Snows composure went from awe to total shock. "WHERE'S THE FURNITURE?" he screamed to no one in particular as he did a complete 360 degree turn. "WHERE IS THE FREEKIN FURNITURE?" he yelled again.

The technicians, just getting back into there role of worker bee, almost jumped out of their skin when Snow started screaming. I almost lost it right there. That was the rumor I had heard about. The Supreme Commander had ordered last minute changes to the layout of the bridge and they hadnÔÇÖt been completed yet. So, the standard bridge furniture hadn't arrived yet.

"Sir", I replied in my best impression of a drill instructor. ÔÇ£The furniture is on back order". Oh I wanted to laugh, but carried on with my tale. ÔÇ£The Supreme Commander has ordered that all bridge chairs be re-covered in paisley syntho-fabric with artificially scented head rests. And the forward momentum restraining devices, or seat belts, had to be returned because they clashed with the new colors. He decided if the ship was captured there shouldn't be a major fashion fo-pau to embarass us.ÔÇØ

The poor technicians, they wanted to laugh too, but their Commander was still somewhere between shock and rage. And looking at him showed he might be directing that rage towards me.

"SCOTTY! GET IN MY READY ROOM! NOW!!"

"Yes SIR!" I snapped off.

Once inside his ready room, Snow was just shaking his head. Not even looking at me. "Scotty, you could've told me. I would've told you. That was very wrong of you to make me look bad in front of those people."

"Yeah, maybe", I snorted, "But you should've seen the look on your face. God, I hope the bridge recorders were working. If that's the only thing on this ship working, I hope it was that." I started a bout of uncontrolled laughter, good enough to tighten those glaring eyes from Snow a little bit further.

"Scotty, get out of here. Go play with your little machines in engineering." Snow said this with a degree of defeatedness, but I also knew paybacks are a bitch.

"Yes Sir!" I said with a wide mouthed grin on my face. I did an abrupt about face, waited for the doors to open and strode on out. The whole way to engineering I was smiling, occasionally laughing out loud as memories of Snow's reaction hit me again. The poor unsuspecting crewmen I met in the halls didn't have a clue...yet. I'm sure the technicians on the bridge will be talking soon enough. It really isn't going to be that bad. This little scene just brought the Commander down a notch and put some humanity back in him.

[RP off]

Feel free to add any people, places, events or whatnots. Or just put in your own off the wall story.

Later. Scotty.