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The future of tech support...

Supreme Cmdr

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And you guys think I'm bad. I got sent this hilarious bit via email this morning. Make sure you're not eating or drinking anything when you read it.


This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of

in a long time. I think this guy should have been

promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the

Word Perfect Help line which was transcribed from a

recording monitoring the customer care department.

Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired;

however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect

organization for "Termination without Cause."

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer

Support employee (now I know why they record these


"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"



"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

" Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see


"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of

it, not just one?"


"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"


"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle

-- it's because it's dark."


"Yes, -the office light is off, and the only light I have is from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power failure."

"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and

manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?! "

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take

it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too damn stupid to own a computer."

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Originally posted by Greg Miller:


Good one SC.

If I was his boss, I wouldn't have fired him. I just would have taken him to my office and explained that what he did was true, it just wasn't proper, and to never do it again.

Nah, I'd have given him a pay rise. Or maybe promoted him.

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Originally posted by Emmett.hendrick:

Some users really are that thick.

So are some techies.


Originally posted by Emmett.hendrick:

It pushes you to your limits sometimes not to yell at them and call them stupid and hang up on them.

Or kick them out of your office. Or tell them to either go back to school and demand a refund or learn something.

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That story brings back lots of memorys of when I was a techie.

I remember someone having a problem with a program they had. Since we only did system support we weren't really able to deal with this sort of problem but I asked her to send a copy of the disk in anyway so I could have a look.

A few days past and I received a letter from her stating " Please find enclosed a copy of ~ Program ~ as requested"

I then pulled out what was the copy, a photocopy of the disk...

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This is the very reason I've chosen to pursue a career in theatre.

I've got to agree with everyone else, that guy deserves a promotion or something. Just something to get him the hell away from that phone, he doesn't deserve to be fired.

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