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German men told they can no longer stand and deliver

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The telegraph

quote:

By Kate Connolly

(Filed: 18/08/2004)

German men are being shamed into urinating while sitting down by a gadget which is saving millions of women from cleaning up in the bathroom after them.

The WC ghost, a £6 voice-alarm, reprimands men for standing at the lavatory pan. It is triggered when the seat is lifted. The battery-operated devices are attached to the seats and deliver stern warnings to those who attempt to stand and urinate (known as "Stehpinkeln").

"Hey, stand-peeing is not allowed here and will be punished with fines, so if you don't want any trouble, you'd best sit down," one of the devices orders in a voice impersonating the German leader, Chancellor Gerhard Schroder. Another has a voice similar to that of his predecessor, Helmut Kohl.

The manufacturers of the WC ghost, Patentwert, say they are ready to direct their gadgets at the British market.

Their prototype English-speaking WC ghost says in an American drawl: "Don't you go wetting this floor cowboy, you never know who's behind you. So sit down, get your water pistol in the bowl where it belongs. Ha, ha, ha."

They also plan to copy the voices of Tony Blair and the Queen.

So far 1.8 million WC ghosts have been sold in German supermarkets.

But Klaus Schwerma, author of Standing Urinators: The Last Bastion of Masculinity? doubts whether it will ever be possible to convert all men.

"Many insist on standing, even though it leads to much marital strife," he said.

In German, the phrase for someone who sits and urinates, a "Sitzpinkler", is equivalent to "wimp".

***Snip***

ROFLMAO!!

I just can't stand it, this just made me laugh...

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I can bet that many of these will be buyed in Italy and the exact same number will litter our waste dumps....

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The day I sit down, to take a leak, is the day I can no longer stand!!.....poor German's. Tell me women's desire to castrate, is not THAT prevelant, around the world!!

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Rotflmao, but not the bathroom floor

And I remember my ex-mate howling because I didn't return the seat to its horizontal resting position after using the facility.

My argument was always, "Hey, Woman, I have to raise it after your use, so why can't you be a doll and just put it down after I have used it?"

She had a thing for going tinkle in the dark without turning the light on, and on more than a few occasions, the sound of vehement cursing could be heard in the middle of the night around my house.

I'm sure the shock of seating one's self in cold water would make anyone curse their mate.

This could also have given rise to the common slur; "Write your weight on the wall."

My ex should have counted her blessings. At least I was always conscientious in regard to flushing and we didn't have to utilize an Outhouse.

Alas, if it were left to the women of the world, we would all be Sitzpinklers.

Yeah, Right, when Hell freezes over!

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This is one area I think women don't have a clue. They claim they can tell if you are lying, cheating etc.. But they can't tell if the bathroom seat is up or down? Give me a break. It's just another excuse of more control over the guy. When you think about it, it's pretty sad that a marriage can be rather rocky over something as simple as a toilet seat.

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quote:

When you think about it, it's pretty sad that a marriage can be rather rocky over something as simple as a toilet seat.


I have seen marriage get pretty rocky, over less. and have also seen it survive things, which SHOULD have utterly destroyed it.

Where Women are concerned...."It is always UNCHARTERED territory".

*keeps things EXCITING, I suppose.*

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Guest Grayfox

thats why im glad im not married anymore.

as for peeing standing up... helps keep the hand/eye coordination sharp

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Guest

I grew up sharing a bathroom with my sister, it was never a big deal for me to put the seat down after I was done, and I still do it, then again, I have 2 daughters and a wife now, and I am going to teach my son the same courtesy.

Raise the lid and seat when you go, lower the lid and seat when you're done.

Why that is so difficult? I don't know.

They use the seat down 100% of the time, we use the seat down maybe 15%, so sooner or later, having that seat down is going to convenient for us as well.

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I have fallen in and been stopped by a closed cover..a bit of a pain but not enough to get me upset. I feel bad for you guys.

Since I have been training my son, I am more confused about you guys than ever....when to sit when to stand, what to do in the morning if you're "happy"! What a trip!

I feel bad for those German men!

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Originaly posted by Echo:

"what to do in the morning if you're "happy"! What a trip!"

Improvise ROFL

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quote:


Originally posted by Scrivener:

I always figured the perfect solution was - the toilet seat stays up when not in use. It's always worked in my house.


In mine too....

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On the other hand, it has become a sport here to try and aim at those (non-waterproof ) devices while at it... works hilariously well...

hehe "Stehpinkeln" Guerilla Front!

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quote:

On the other hand, it has become a sport here to try and aim at those (non-waterproof ) devices while at it... works hilariously well...

I can hear it now:" blub...bloop..PLEASE.... bloop....blub... bloop..seat down!! "

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First in Germany, now in Amsterdam Look Who Has a Real Potty Mouth...

quote:

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - The citizens of Amsterdam may now take counsel of talking toilets that expound on the perils of smoking or the futility of war and berate them on hygiene and cleanliness.

The first such toilets, fitted with sensors to detect exactly what visitors do and to pass comment if appropriate, were installed in a central Amsterdam cafe Thursday. Creator Leonard van Munster, who sees the project as an artistic venture, will build more if the demand arises.

"You might consider sitting down next time," the toilet told a male Reuters reporter politely in a female robot voice. The next user was told that "The last visitor did not take heed of basic rules of hygiene."

Depending on circumstances, the toilet might remind you to wash your hands or ask you to lift the seat.

"It could suddenly start coughing and warn you about the dangers of cigarettes, or name all the cool movie stars who smoke. It just depends what mood it's in," van Munster said referring to people who sneak off to secretly have a puff.

Great, toilets with "moods"

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quote:

Originally posted by Wolferz:

Rotflmao, but not the bathroom floor

She had a thing for going tinkle in the dark without turning the light on, and on more than a few occasions, the sound of vehement cursing could be heard in the middle of the night around my house.

I'm a bloke and I've got this lazyitis too. The other night I went for a wee and got the *splish* noise not the *splosh* noise. Ooops! Try a bit to the left. Same. Back to centre and a bit to the right? Same. Finally it dawned on my 3am fogged brain (and confirmed by groping) that the seat AND the cover were down! Confessed my crime in the morning and it got a laugh - luckily.

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Guest kenny87

quote:

Originally posted by Narny:

quote:

Originally posted by Wolferz:

Rotflmao, but not the bathroom floor

She had a thing for going tinkle in the dark without turning the light on, and on more than a few occasions, the sound of vehement cursing could be heard in the middle of the night around my house.

I'm a bloke and I've got this lazyitis too. The other night I went for a wee and got the *splish* noise not the *splosh* noise. Ooops! Try a bit to the left. Same. Back to centre and a bit to the right? Same. Finally it dawned on my 3am fogged brain (and confirmed by groping) that the seat AND the cover were down! Confessed my crime in the morning and it got a laugh - luckily.


Remember that ladies; what would you prefer:

A - A little bit of extra effort from having to put the seat down, or

B - A piss soaked toliet seat

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