Jump to content
3000AD Forums
Sign in to follow this  
Cruis.In

divorce

Recommended Posts

*Hand Up*

Considering a second divorce, actually. Not much fun.

Why do you ask?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My advice? Don't re-marry! Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. You skip alot of useless steps that way.

(KIDDING!)

I'm still working on my first, although my wife's a divorce salty dog.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

*Hands up*

Which is what happens when lawyers get involved in anything, especially divorces.

Prez has good advice. Don't remarry.

Do what I did. Find yourself a lonely widow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

quote:

Originally posted by Prez:

My advice? Don't re-marry!

We were both divorced, so that was the plan. After 7 years, a kid and a house togther, it seemed silly not to. Marriage really does change some people.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hi, sorry I didn't come back. I was under the impression this thread would get deleted for some reason... hopefully not.

I've been married for a year my son was born 3 months ago on thursday this week.

And it's is over. I wanted to give a complete stranger, or in this case my fellow bcer's on here my story and see what they thought. The ones who've been through it, and maybe they could share there story with me.

If you're willing PM me... if all you divorcee's want to read my story, reply yay or nay, and I will post it public... to get all your thoughts together...and advice. I don't mind putting my personal stuff in lime light, especially when if that's what it takes to have something like a life again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Very sorry to hear that Cruis-in.

Just remember you have friends here you can talk to if you ever need it.

If I could give one piece of advice, I would suggest that if at all humanly possible, you do whatever you can to make sure that both you and your wife (or ex-wife, as the case may be soon) remain active parts in your child's life. He will be the better for it. Good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest $iLk

My story is on this forum. Search my member number 2090 for a thread titled "An update on my life..." - maybe it'll keep things in perspective. The thread is from 2003.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am divorced, carazilly enough planning a second wedding.

If I could give you one piece of advise being a child of a divorce and a mom who is divorced. Be there for you kid/kids. Know them and their dreams. Spoil them but don't try to buy them. Lasty as a human, don't let it define you or destroy you. There is a light at the end of it all.

Chin up said the spider to the pig.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Get a house, a dog, and a girlfriend. Have her visit on weekends, but never let her stay more than a week. LOL, that's when life is peachy. NEVER, EVER, EVER, did I say ever?, get married.

Reasons? Not against marriage, or the concept of it. Family is great, BUT the guy ALWAYS takes a huge beating during divorce. The way the laws are set up, he is ruined financially for the rest of his life, no matter what the situation of his wife is, especially in California. So, it's just not worth the risk of one person ruining 20, 30, or even 40 years of your life and retirement because you were married, had children and then ended up divorced, no matter whos fault or reasons. You are better off having a child or children out of wedlock and taking care of them (education, health, upbringing) than marrying and running the chance of your retirement and financial stability going *puff*. Better off financially and emotionally.

It boggles my mind when guys say "I do".

Take it like a man. Bite it. Do your job (work wise, and children wise), learn your lesson, and NEVER re-marry.

[ 02-18-2006, 02:42 AM: Message edited by: Soback ]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ummm hello...Soback...did you forget there is a chick here? I agree that some guys are dragged over the coals but my ex made out like a king. When I tossed him out he didn't have one bill (he had gotten an accident settlement and paid his all off) and all the free time to do as he likes, he pays the minimum in child support and visits for a total of 4 hours a week (his choice) I on the other hand, have my big expenseive house, that he never pitched in for, along with over $30000.00 and it only lasted form 1998-2001. Never mind two kids to raise and pay for day care and sports and whatever else their golden little hearts desire. I have to work over 40 hours per week and commute 15 hours to get to and fro. I miss just about everything significant my kids do in a day. Never mind have to keep contact with him and read his foolish emails about how he has no money and begging to claim one on his tax return.

I know I am going off but truly you cannot just throw out generalizations like that. I am sure there a women in California who are in the same position as I am, as I am sure there are men who raise their kids and women who make out.

I do agree with the first sentence you opened with, but again I am the one with the house and with the guy who wanted to stay more than a week.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LOL, Don't let him.

As far as genaralizations go. Of course I throw out generalizations. I talk from my perspective. Nor am I going to post a full page essay on my perspective, yet make sure to include statements that there are exeptions and go on listing them like disclaimers. Calm down. This is the problem these days, people hear a statement in a conversation and take it as 100% irrevocable, iron clad opinion. If we didn't generalize, our conversations would take forever just to say "Hi, how you doing." I say it's the lawyers, political correctness and the warning labels fault that people eyes start twitching at every little paragraph that doesn't include a disclaimer of "These statements are non factual and are of editorial opinion. Might not apply in every case and/or time."

Back to you agreeing with the first paragraph. Keep the house and have the guy visit. Why would you take the chance at marrying. Not only are you playing with your future, BUT remember, if you marry, those alimony payments, no matter how little *puff*.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't get alimony, I get child support and no matter who I marry whether it be a male or female (I am in Mass after all), will change the fact that the kids belong to the first husband and unless he signs papers stating he doesn't want the responsiblity of even being their father would that change. Vesides I would also forfeit every penny of that measley support for him to stop letting down my kids emotionally.

As far as disclaimers, I do not think your post left too much to interpretation, nor will I remain silent when I feel strongly about an issue. Nevermind I am a chick and once I get fired up there is no room for calming down

I never in 8 million years thought I would want to get married again, but here I am. You can't let fear of being hurt or losing a few dollars jade you. Nor can you forget that an unmarried couple does not receive the same rights or benefits as a married couple.

Now I will ask, have you ever been engaged or married, or is your opinion based soley on the expiriences of others?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Engaged, to a girl I've been with for 4 years. Dodged that bullet, and have never been happier. Great gall, just not for me.

The rest is people I know, my friends, and stories I hear. Every time I get the yearning of "Is there more to life than just .... like having a wife, ect.." I tell myself to calm down, and remind that part of the brain what my life would've been if I actually got married to that girl, OR what it could be based on the experiences I hear about. On top of it, the statistics don't look so good either. It just doesn't make sence to go through all the problems, the rewards are definatly not worth the risk. Let me kinda expand on that. It WOULD be worth the risk if two people couldn't have a relationship if they weren't married, BUT since two people can be together, love each other, share in each others lives, even raising a child, while at the same time having the security of their OWN future, it makes no sence to be putting your life (financial, emotional, ect., after the divorce) and retirement in jeopardy just to be legally married.

You brought up the benefits of security that marriage offers by law. Yes, to an extent. But keep in mind that those same benefits can be emulated with other legal documents, while at the same time keeping the bomb of *after divorce* out of your life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×