Ben Zwycky

I thought it was watermelon seeds

Glad to see things are looking up. Well, it seems she has long since decided to act like a rebellious child, so you should treat her like one. By that I mean be firm and consistent. There is always room for acts of mercy and kindness, but as far as overlooking her actions is concerned, they should be the exception, rather than the rule. Otherwise she will fail to appreciate (or even understand) them, as she has been doing up until now. I would like to add a little warning: "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, (Ephesians 4:26, quoting Psalm 4:4 (NIV)) DonÔÇÖt let anger and resentment build up, they will consume you. Let go of all the negative feelings you have towards her and forgive her in your heart, setting yourself free. This doesnÔÇÖt mean letting her walk all over you, or that she canÔÇÖt hurt you anymore, it just means that the hurt wonÔÇÖt fester into something far worse. And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19(NIV)

Congrats, a whole lot of adventure and joy awaits you. (I should know ) You'll find time to post somehow

Sounds like a door being opened to me, but I won't count your chickens just yet. It's strange how things seem to work themselves out as you work things out between yourself and God, or maybe it's not strange at all You are still in my prayers (not that I'm a great prayer warrior or anything, but every little helps:)) You will get through this, even if this job doesn't turn out to be the one for you. Later,

First of all, how did the interview go? Secondly, RaceÔÇÖs post reminded me of something I would like to share at this point. This may be of help to you now, $ilk, and in the future I hope, and also to all you other Christians who are taking part in or ever read this thread. For those of you who do not believe in God or in spiritual things, you will find most, if not all of what follows very difficult to accept. What I am about to say is not aimed at you, and you do not have to read any of it. Even some of you Christians might find this a little too deep for your liking. It concerns the spiritual side of the struggles that we face. The spiritual world is not just out there in the ether somewhere, requiring some special ritual to access, but is inextricably intertwined and interconnected with the physical world. It is here, now, right where you are and always has been. Every situation you face and every choice you make, no matter how mundane, has a spiritual aspect and spiritual as well as physical results on the people around you as well as on yourself, whether you realise it or not. That is just the introduction to what I have to say Now for the heavy stuff While I was going through a very difficult time (emotionally and spiritually) as a result of the nervous breakdown I described earlier in this thread, I received a vision/ picture/ whatever you want to call it, which opened my eyes on a few things. There was a large circular clearing in a forest, which had a small but beautiful hemispherical dome in its centre (maybe five metres in diameter). It shimmered like a pearl, and was guarded by a ring of knights dressed in white, who all looked quite frightened. I knew that this clearing represented my mind. All around the edge of the clearing, i.e. from all directions at once, very fierce-looking soldiers with studded black leather armour and viscous curved swords stepped out from the trees. I knew that these represented demonic forces. They attacked the knights without mercy, and the defenders were slaughtered, dying in horrible ways- they didnÔÇÖt stand a chance. I was getting more and more frightened as I saw all this happening. As the last of the knights fell, one of the black-clad soldiers slashed into the dome with his sword, revealing that it was made of paper, and it collapsed entirely, revealing a large diamond on a transparent stand. Then it was the black-clad soldiersÔÇÖ turn to be terrified as a bright light shone out from the diamond and vaporised them all, leaving only the diamond on itÔÇÖs stand in the middle of the clearing, shining peacefully and beautifully. I had been deeply hurt and had put up a lot of defences around myself to try and prevent further hurt and keep all my negative impulses at bay, which they were worse than useless at doing. The only thing they did do was prevent GodÔÇÖs light from shining in my life. The moment you gave yourself to Christ, God placed something perfect, powerful and beautiful at the centre of your being- himself. You can either let the light he has given you shine and spread its influence to every area of your life, or let other things get in the way and smother it. The enemyÔÇÖs attacks were powerful and effective and it was very distressing to see my carefully built defences utterly destroyed, but they were in fact just barricades of rubbish that I allowed to accumulate in my life so I could hide behind them, trapping me inside. The attacks or hardships instead of enslaving me, actually purified and freed me from my DIY prison cell. Also the best defence against the enemy is to let GodÔÇÖs light shine through you and throughout you unhindered. This fits in very well with Matthew 5:14-16 You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. (NIV) The last thing the enemy wants is for God to be praised. He wants people to be ungrateful, ignorant and rebellious, the opposite of real praise. So what does ÔÇ£letting your light shine before menÔÇØ mean? It definitely doesnÔÇÖt mean doing everything for show to get people to like you and say how wonderful you are, Jesus rightly called those people hypocrites. It means staying close to God, letting him work in you and really change you, and work through you and use you as a blessing for many people. Never lose sight of the source of your light, though. That is key to everything. In this way, these attacks and trials (in whatever form they come) will purify and strengthen you like a refining fire. Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. (Ephesians 6:10-11 (NIV))

It's very possible to feel better and worse at the same time. Quite a mixed bag of results there. Don't condemn yourself over your weaknesses, that doesn't help anyone (especially not yourself) and often our weakness is an effective channel for His strength to flow (see quote from my previous post). You have feelings- understandably strong ones- you're a human being, not a machine. I can't tell you what to think about your ex-wife, I can only pray that he who is able will cleanse and guard your mind, and use your mistakes as well as your successes to do a lot of good in both your lives. Be strong, but not in your own strength.

It might be tempted to say good luck with the hearing, but then to quote another famous Ben "In my experience there's no such thing as luck" only varying dispensations of God's grace. You are all still in my prayers and whatever happens tomorrow, remember "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Cor 12:9, NIV)And with all of us, that's a whole lot of perfect power goin' round also Romans 5:1-5 seems appropriate especially: "we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." He who is with you is stronger than he that is against you

Good to see you fit and well [rp]respected enemy[/rp]

Is there going to be a custody hearing? If so, when? (so I can pray for wisdom for all concerned in deciding and accepting the decision that is made) Now I donÔÇÖt want to scare you, nor imply in any way that your ex-wife might do this to you, but IÔÇÖve seen a worse situation than yours end happily. About 25 years ago my uncle married someone who didnÔÇÖt share his faith (to get away from his family, who disapproved of almost everyone he met) While they were married she had multiple boyfriends and eventually they divorced. They had a custody hearing, which she lost ,as well as her appeal. She then kidnapped their three children and secretly took them to another country (a good few thousand miles away) and tried to have another custody hearing there in his absence and without his knowledge, on the basis of his being a ÔÇÿreligious maniacÔÇÖ (though IÔÇÖve hardly met a saner, calmer and gentler man in all my travels). IÔÇÖm not sure how long it took him to track them down (he got no help at all from her parents who stood by her every move) or what eventually happened to her (my family, understandably, didnÔÇÖt introduce me). To make matters worse, it later turned out that her father had been abusing her and my uncleÔÇÖs eldest daughter. When her mother found out about that, she left him on the spot. Like I said, it ended happily, he is now happily remarried to a kind, loving, and godly woman and we recently received an invitation to his eldest daughterÔÇÖs wedding, so it seems like the damage has been healed. Before I heard about all of that, I was totally against divorce in all circumstances- I still donÔÇÖt like it at all- it is never a ÔÇÿgoodÔÇÖ option (since for one itÔÇÖs breaking the most important promise a lot of people ever make) and for my marriage it will never be an option, but I came to see that in some cases it really is the ÔÇÿleast badÔÇÖ option. God knows the end he has in store for you, it is good for you and he will lead you accordingly. Stay close and communicate with him, and trust his ways.

A few more pics are up. Both boys are regularly sleeping through the night (until around 6), so it looks like the toughest phase (sleepwise) is over (at least until Jakub starts having nightmares, I suppose) Enjoy (we certainly do )

quote: Originally posted by LostInSpace: I don't see a tax for the DSL service however (yet). [/QB] You lucky thing. At the end of the year over here VAT on internet connections (of all types) goes up from 5% to a mere 22%. Ahh, the joys of consumerhood

IÔÇÖd just like to echo everything Telson said and add that I know those things from personal experience as well as from the book (IÔÇÖm sure Telson could say the same). IÔÇÖd like to share with you some personal experiences and lessons IÔÇÖve learned that may help and/or encourage you/ be something to watch out for. It was under very different circumstances, so maybe the lessons wonÔÇÖt all apply, (theyÔÇÖre mainly about recovering from a traumatic experience) but here we go: (You can skip this next paragraph if you donÔÇÖt want to know a lot of peripheral details) A number of years ago as a student (a while before I first joined this forum, to give you some idea) I went through a nervous breakdown (and itÔÇÖs not something I would ever want to repeat). I drove myself into the ground trying to do an impossible amount of things at once on my own (a double degree course plus a language course plus running a society plus being a very active member of another plus training to be a decathlete plus helping out at a local school and a community centre, where a lot of people found even the single degree course too difficult) add to that a very unhealthy (completely one-way) long-distance ÔÇ£relationshipÔÇØ and you have a sure-fire recipe for emotional collapse. All of these things were my choices, often choosing them precisely because they were difficult, and being very proud of all I was handling. It never occurred to me (let alone was I able to confide in anyone) that I wasnÔÇÖt coping. Of course I ignored all the warning signs (failing a module the first year, failing the entire second year, even fainting from stress and hunger (I often skipped lunch to work more) during my repeat second year) constantly trying to live up to the weight of expectation I perceived was on me as the ÔÇ£giftedÔÇØ one in the family (though I was the one who expected the most of myself) Looking back, it amazes me that it took two and a half years for me to crack, but when I did it wasnÔÇÖt pleasant. I dropped out of everything, came home a broken young man unable to do anything except feel sorry for myself. It was only when I reached the end of what strength I had left, for once stopped wallowing in self-pity and genuinely asked for help that I realised that ÔÇ£him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagineÔÇØ was there with me with arms open wide (as he always had been) turned me around, gave me new strength and the healing process could begin in earnest. That is not to say that I didnÔÇÖt make any more stupid mistakes (including another unhealthy long-distance ÔÇ£relationshipÔÇØ (what was I thinking!)) but I learned whose strength to rely on and a whole load of other stuff. Over the years since those events I have (re)learned the following: 1. God has resources you canÔÇÖt even dream about. Nothing is ever an ÔÇ£inconvenienceÔÇØ or ÔÇ£too complexÔÇØ for him to handle. 2. DonÔÇÖt try to live up to anyone elseÔÇÖs expectations (not even your own) because expectations are almost always badly informed, and are often never satisfied (or satisfiable) 3. DonÔÇÖt try to do everything yourself. 4. DonÔÇÖt be afraid to admit your mistakes, or ashamed to ask for help, though from your posts it seems neither of these things are a big problem for you. Find someone you can confide in and confide in them regularly. 5. Taking a break is not an admission of defeat- itÔÇÖs a fundamental need. DonÔÇÖt ignore your bodyÔÇÖs warning signals. 6. DonÔÇÖt aim to be who you were before all this happened. This experience will change you, like my experience changed me. I donÔÇÖt like some of the changes, but I do like a lot of them, and can see a positive side to the ones I donÔÇÖt like. 7. A lot of good will come out of this whole situation, though it might not seem like it now. Some already has. Maybe this is small comfort to you, but taking part in this whole discussion has made me appreciate my wife more, and sharing it with her has helped us talk about and deal with some problems I had no idea she was having, so I thank you for that, for your bravery and honesty. One day you will use all your experiences and the lessons you learn to come alongside and help others in pain. 8. You are never alone. If youÔÇÖre ever in need of a spiritual uplift, (as IÔÇÖm sure you will be from time to time) you can do a lot worse than read the first four chapters of PaulÔÇÖs letter to the Ephesians. They are full of encouraging truths. IÔÇÖll end with one of my favourite quotes, from Micah 6:8 He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. You are not alone.

quote: Originally posted by $iLk: Thank you for remembering me in your prayers everyone, and trust that I am thankful for all of you. [/QB] You can count on that (at least from me) for a good while to come. Keep the faith, brother.

I'll be praying for you and the whole situation. Remember "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."

Petr pics in place

Yeah, I know. Well in my half-asleep stupor I forgot to plug the battery charger in, so no pics today. Hopefully I'll have some for you all tomorrow night. I'm off to get some sleep. In the meantime you can enjoy 4 new Jakub pics, making further progress in amphibious operations and media relations . Enjoy,

TWo new recruits in a year- I'm doing well! (though there must be an easier way...) Weighing in at a hefty 4.15 kilos, Little Petr was born at 5.15 this morning. Needless to say I’m pretty tired right now (especially since the local council started using heavy earthworking equipment less than 10 metres from my bedroom window from 8) so this’ll be short. I’ll be taking some pics tomorrow, so I’ll try and put them on the website tomorrow evening (along with maybe a couple more of Jakub) Later,

So what is the (performance) difference between a Radeon 9000 and 9200? or between a 9200 and 9200SE? The 9200SE description on the shop website I looked at just linked me to the description of the 9200.

New announcement: apparently the faster but limited data connection is optional for current customers, and they can carry on with their current setup until the end of the year when there's going to be a whole new range of options. Basically it's a confused mess, so we're going to put this off until after the new year at least to reassess our options, because the initial investment (just under 200 bucks for the router and about 70 for each card) is far too high for something so uncertain.

Our national telecom company, in its great wisdom, has decided to change the way ADSL is run in this country (ADSL is still pretty new here, and has only just reached my local phone exchange). Instead of a 192/64 or 320/128 connection with unlimited data transfer for 1400 or 2400 crowns a month (about 50 or 85 bucks), they have decided to provide 512/128 with 10GB/month or 1024/256 with 20GB/month for the same initial price. For every 10GB you go over that limit costs an extra 400 crowns (about 13-14 dollars). This makes my plan (which I still intend to implement) of setting up a WAN on my estate to share the connection (and cost) a little more complicated. I was hoping to get between 10 and 20 people to share the connection and allow for a certain number of 10GB units in the shared monthly charge, evening up accounts every 6 months or so (if we’ve used it less, giving money back, if more sending everyone an extra bill (which I’m sure won’t go down very well, alternatively I could just unplug the router when we get too close to the monthly limit, which I’m sure won’t go down well either). Of course I would monitor our use and send out a message to everyone when we’re getting near the limit to tell them to cut down their use until the end of the month and avoid either of these situations.) The monthly charge will also include a fixed network maintenance charge (a worst-case scenario one of the cost of buying the router and all the cards right after their 5-year guarantee is up, spread across those 5 years and number of users.) Obviously the smoothest operation of such a scheme depends on choosing an appropriate data limit per user while trying to keep the monthly charge to a minimum to attract more people to join in the first place. So, what I want to know from you guys is, what is an appropriate average data limit per month per user? (I know that most of you are probably above-average users, so I’ll bear that in mind.) My favourite schemes (depending on the number of people who sign up) are as follows: No of users / Connection speed / data limit per user (GB/month) / Cost per person (crowns) 5 / 512/128kbps / 2 / 340 8 / 512/128kbps / 3.75 / 325 10 / 512/128kbps / 4 / 310 15 / 1024/256kbps / 4 / 310 20 / 1024/256kbps / 4.5 / 300 25 / 1024/256kbps / 4.8 / 300 1 crown is a little less than 30 per dollar, but wages here are massively lower than in the US (average is about 13,500 crowns (450 bucks) a month) I don’t like the 5-user scheme but that’s the minimum number of users to make it at all affordable. Basically the more users, the higher data limit per person we can afford, but also the slower the connection, obviously. is 3-4 GB per month per user enough to allow relative freedom of use or not? (I’m hoping that some people who sign up will be below average users so that I might be able to use it a little more, but I can’t depend on that too much)

Here are some possible ideas for a fleet rp Feel free to comment, vote, add other ideas of your own. (it's always possible to combine ideas): Search and Rescue Operation to recover a damaged/downed ship in the Gammulan quadrant Retrieving a deep-cover operative in the Insurgents or Gammulans Counter-Intelligence operations (maybe a little complex, depending on how we do it.) Breaking an organised crime ring with an underground base on Mercury ISS on patrol (policing your flight group patrol zones) basically the same as log files, will be a bit random and directionless at least to start with but where we could try and tie some events together later depending on what people have been encountering/ thinking up

Why don't we look back through the Fleet log files and see if there's anything in there that might be the basis for a good (simple) rp adn just take it from there?

You know I am.

I'm still around, how about resurrecting log files- or basing a small rp on what's in there already? My earlier story idea was a bit too daunting for everyone it seemed. Start with something small and flexible.

Another litle trick is that when your shuttle docks and relaunches, it's hyperdrive engine is instantly recharged. So, while the shuttle is in hyperspace (and towing you, give it the HALT command. While it is emerging from hyperspace order it to tow nothing (disable) Your capital ship should then be able to move forward. Then give it the rtb order and full afterburn through the jumpgate/wormhole in your carrier/capital ship. The shuttle should dock with you on your way there (or you can target it with your capital ship, tractor it and press y to retrieve the craft) Once through the wormhole, press 0 to halt your craft, launch the shuttle again, immediately order it to tow you, then tell it where you want it to jump. I hope that wasn't too complicated for you.