Rules for non-military personnel

[Wolferz]

MILITARY RULES FOR NON-MILITARY PERSONNEL, OR YOU CIVILIANS[MILITARY RULES FOR NON-MILITARY PERSONNEL, OR YOU CIVILIANS!]

"Dear Civilians,

We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many

Civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:

(1) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat)

during the playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass.

(2) When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag

in protest---kick their

ass.

(3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the

highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing

otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.

(4) (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that

you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others that you used to be "Special Forces,"

Collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old. Now, it will only make you

look stupid and get your ass kicked.

(5) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them,

"Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such

ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).

(6) If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard 'non-military',

inform them of their mistake---then kick their ass.

(7) Next time Old Glory (the US Flag) prances by during a parade,

get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your right hand

over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or

veteran lucky enough to be carrying her---of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass-kicking.

(8) Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a

veteran... We are Americans, and we all bleed the same (RED), regardless of our party affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief (CinC).

The President (for those who didn't know) is our CinC regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those Congress people meet. All we know is that when those civilian Congress people screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out. (Amen !!) If you keep asking us the same stupid

questionￛs repeatedly, you will get your ass

kicked!

(9) 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me---stop

saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore,

could kick your ass!

(10) Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying

'Let's go kill those Commies!' And stop asking us where he is! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me---if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go kick their ass!

(11) 'Flyboy'(Air Force), 'Jarhead'(Marines), 'Grunt'(Army),

'Squid'(Navy), 'Puddle Jumpers'(Coast Guard), etc.,

are terms of

endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. That could get your ass kicked.

(12) Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the

military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving

and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make

everyday. Without them, our country would get it's ass kicked."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It is the Veteran, not the reporter who has given us freedom

of the press."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It is the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us freedom of

speech."

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It is the Veteran, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It is the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the

flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester

to burn the flag."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"If you can read this, thank a teacher"

"If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran "

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(Please pass this on so I won't have to kick your ass!) {:-)

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[Marvin]

I'd pass that on to everyone I ever flew with but, if I did, they would probably collectively kick my ass.

I can't think of a better way to alienate the civilian population.

Happy Easter.

[Wolferz]

I agree 100%

That was sent to me by my brother, who just recently completed 20 years of service as a squid.

If I said anything derogatory to him about it, he would kick my ass,cause he's larger than I.

I would get me a chunk on the way down, and I guarantee,he'd miss the chunk sorely

[Dave Peterson]

Belongs in the humor section... but quite entertaining!

[Guest]

I used to work with a retired marine, he and I would call each other Jarhead and Grunt, cannon fodder and commo puke, all the time.

This new kid comes in, just out of high school, and calls him a jarhead, and he looked at him, said, "if you EVER call me that again, I will kick your ass." He whined because I had called him that, so why shouldn't he?

You can guess the response...LOL

[Wolferz]

yup, ya gotta earn it kid. LOL

[Kalshion]

quote:

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Belongs in the humor section

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I don't find ANY of these humorious.. how you can is BEYOND me

If I was to see someone talking during the National Athem I'd tell them to shut the hell up, which is exactly what I did a day ago at the martial arts tournament. Had an idiot talking while the girl was singing the national athem, told them to either shut the hell up and start respecting the Athem or they can just LEAVE.. suffice it to say they left *good riddance*(I'm apart of the staff)

Number 2.. again.. how can you even DARE find this humerious? If I was to catch someone burning the American Flag outside there house, I would do what every other neighbor on my block would do: Go Hunting.

If your not going to respect this country's Athem or it's flag then just get the hell out..

quote:

---

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It is the Veteran, not the reporter who has given us freedom

of the press."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It is the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us freedom of

speech."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is the Veteran, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It is the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the

flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester

to burn the flag."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"If you can read this, thank a teacher"

"If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran "

---

^^ The above is absolutely right ^^

I've already thanked my father who fought in the vietnam war, my grandfather/grandmother who fought in world war 2

None of this is humerious.. or at least I don't find it humerious

[Marvin]

quote:

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Oaths of Enlistment and Oaths of Office:

"I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God." (Title 10, US Code; Act of 5 May 1960 replacing the wording first adopted in 1789, with amendment effective 5 October 1962).

"I, _____ (SSAN), having been appointed an officer in the Army of the United States, as indicated above in the grade of _____ do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign or domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservations or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office upon which I am about to enter; So help me God." (DA Form 71, 1 August 1959, for officers.)

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The Army version. Other services say pretty much the same thing.

To repeat: "...I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States...."

Keep in mind, it is still the politician who writes the Constitution. And it is still the reporter who speaks out when it is being violated.

As far as it being humor, I suppose it depends on how many beers you've had. The military is like a family ... in the same way most any group is like a family. And one of the things about a family is they usually get the "inside joke" ... while others might not.

Back when the Internet got started, you would find warnings about how what you intended to say might be interpreted differently once in print. Ergo, "j/k" and other similar doo-dads.

Admittedly, there are people in the military who would like to kick ass occassionally. But they refrain from doing so. 'Cause it wouldn't be a very good example of defending the Constitution. If anything, it would be a violation. So, instead, jokes are made. And shared with those of similar background. Family.

If civilians don't think it's funny ... well, maybe they should listen in on a few of the jokes doctors tell one another. Or firefighters. Or police officers.

You name it. Just keep in mind that it's a family joke.

[Guest Remo Williams]

quote:

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None of this is humerious.. or at least I don't find it humerious

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Right, humor is a matter of perception and comes in all flavors. I'm sure some of the things that make you laugh would be apalling to others and thatÔÇÖs just the way the cookie crumbles.

[Kalshion]

True true

But it also might be because I come from a pure military family (father, mother, sister, brother, older brother, grand mother, grand father, all of which have/are in the military)

I guess I just have a more restricted view of the United States and how it should be treated

[Wolferz]

Lighten up Francis