Jump to content
3000AD Forums
Sign in to follow this  
Wolferz

how to be seriously annoying

Recommended Posts

How to be seriously Annoying.....

Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".

Drum on every available surface.

Remove every line of someone's .newsrc file except the entry for alt.sex.fetish.hamster.duct-tape.

Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

Staple papers in the middle of the page.

Ask 800 operators for dates.

Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.

Slip active anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

Set alarms for random times.

Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.

Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.

Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

Honk and wave to strangers.

Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

Wear your pants backwards.

Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music".

Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode.

ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

only type in lowercase.

dont use any punctuation either

Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

Pay for your dinner with pennies.

Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assasination/UFO/OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

Light road flares on a birthday cake.

Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".

Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".

As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.

Sing the "This is the song that never ends..." song. (Ya know, Lamb Chops?)

Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk into it.

Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.

Drive half a block.

Name your dog "Dog".

Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

Ask people what gender they are.

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.

Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".

Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.Then advise them to seek treatment for their stuttering problem.

Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

Wear a LOT of cologne.

Ask to "interface" with someone.

Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".

Sing along at the opera.

Mow your lawn with scissors.

At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batta batta batta batta batta batta batta-suhWING-batter!"

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".

Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".

Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".

Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket." or "wakey wakey Eggs and Baky."

Stare at static on the tv and claim you can see a "magic picture".

Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.

Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

Never make eye contact.

Never break eye contact.

Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.

Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Make appointments for the 31st of September.

Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ummm, reading halfway through the list, I was somewhat annoyed that the list was so long. If you had posted it twice, I would have been really annoyed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I had garnered your E-mail address from your profile and sent you 50 copies, THEN it would be SERIOUSLY annoying

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

quote:


Originally posted by Jaguar:

And morse code is Dit dah. not beep bip.....

And yes, I know morse code....LOL


LOL This is the 21st Century.

Not using the old Telegraphers Key anymore

I bet if you asked the average high school student what Morse Code is, They would give you a vacant stare.

I still chuckle when I remember my kids watching a black and white TV show for the first time.

They asked me," Dad, is the TV broken?

They didn't want to believe me at first, when I told them that it was made that way and it was all there was until the 1960's.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LMAO....thanks Wolferz. I ahve actually done the honking and waving at strangers thing. Still LMAO.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

quote:

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".

Think I am going to try this one on my techs.. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

quote:

Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

I do that

also

Laugh (seemingly) incontrollably at every 3 word when telling a joke (best when combined with a forgotten punchline)

Clear your throat. Again. And again. yes, keep clearing your throat.

Ask for a quarter. When you get one, ask other people in the vicinity for quarters.

In the winter, keep cursing incessantly about the [bleep]ing cold weather, snow, etc. Make sure you mention it's over 30c/80f in florida/california

At a bus stop, ask each person waiting when is ## bus is coming, even after you got an answer.

Flip a coin at a table while letting it fall on the table or floor, repeateadly.

Keep your big backpack on you when standing in a crowded bus

Never go to the back of the bus when you have to stand. Complain when people try to push you so they have space

Ring the bell for every stop in a bus. (Try not to get noticed of the driver will kick you out)

Stand on the edge of the sidewalk as the bus comes to a stop and move back 2 seconds before it stop since it's not the one you're waiting.

I could think of many more Thanksfully i don't do most of these hehe.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×