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Smartest answers of 2005

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These are just too fricking hilarious.

I got them in an E-mail, so no one complain about there not being a link, OK?

And the 5 smartest answers for 2005 ARE.....


Smart Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket; instead he

opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she

said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

Smart Answer #4:

A lady was shopping for a turkey at the grocery store, but she couldn't

find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these

turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied,"No ma'am, they're dead."

Smart Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding

rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop

said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well. I got here as fast as I could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way

without a ticket.

Smart Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that

reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead

of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks

up to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck,

huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran

out of gas."



A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here


I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or

illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other

excuses whatsoever!"

A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, What

would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and Utter

sexual exhaustion?

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence Is

finally restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes

Her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam

with your other hand."

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