Supreme Cmdr Posted February 21, 2002 Report Posted February 21, 2002 Picasso sent this via the internal mailing list. Hilarious stuff. =================== Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to Laugh-line, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won. quote: Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000!!! piece of shit sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch.So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that, along with 5 other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my ass as soon as I get in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but couldn't shit for 2 days because my ******* was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass! ! !
Blades Posted February 21, 2002 Report Posted February 21, 2002 OMG. Poor bastard. Thats probably the worst thing I've heard all year.
Vanethian Posted February 21, 2002 Report Posted February 21, 2002 Damn... it's very sad. I hope Rob has made a joke to her sister... if it is not the case, i think i'll have jellynightmares for a month!!!! LMAO!!! (I live in Sicily!)
Outlaw Posted February 21, 2002 Report Posted February 21, 2002 Hehe, beware of the Portuguese Man 'O War!
Guest Grayfox Posted February 21, 2002 Report Posted February 21, 2002 hehehe. hopefully he doesnt take any x-lax by mistake thinking its chocolate
GREG MILLER Posted February 21, 2002 Report Posted February 21, 2002 Now that takes the cake. You mean to tell me this piece of equimpment, which costs $20,000, doesn't come with a filter on the intake hose??? I feel a lawsuit comming on.
Guest Remo Williams Posted February 21, 2002 Report Posted February 21, 2002 ROTFLMAO! Oh that brought tears to my eyes.
Guest Posted February 21, 2002 Report Posted February 21, 2002 "Nothing is 100% or 0% probable, except life, death, and time." and taxes!
Rosko Posted February 22, 2002 Report Posted February 22, 2002 The jelly fish,........what an arsehole *100th POST [ 02-21-2002, 21:18: Message edited by: Rosko ]
Akuma Minako Posted February 22, 2002 Report Posted February 22, 2002 Ahahahahahaa! I'm with Menchise on this one. HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!
echo Posted February 23, 2002 Report Posted February 23, 2002 I'll have to remeber this when I go back to work next week, after 6 mo leave. It can't be that bad!
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