the perfect plan

[Wolferz]

What a perfect plan!!!!

Here's the plan:

1) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their

affairs, past &present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini and the rest

of them 'good old boys'. We will never "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with

Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us

there. We would station troops at our borders. No more sneaking

through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and

leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the

remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately,

regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90

days unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist

nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there,

change it yourself, don't hide here. Asylum would not ever be

available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers.

5) No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they

don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self sufficient energy

wise. This will include developing non polluting sources of

energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan

wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel

for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else.

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we

will not "interfere". They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds,

rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides' most of what we

give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it

most get very little, if any anyway.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an island some place. We don't

need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, it would

make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way,

no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer.

11) And lastly bring back the manufacturing from our country, curtail

the

cheap imports from all over the world and put the middle class back to

work

in our country.

Now, ain't that a winner of a plan.

[Guest $iLk]

Cept for the beauty school part... beauty is only skin deep... ugly goes all the way to the bone.

[Urza]

That's not far off the mark...

[Wolferz]

even if we are ugly to the bone we could learn to be more charming.