Need advice on woman

[Kalshion]

Some of you might say "Don't even try"

Here's the story:

I meet this girl online, now now! Keep reading please!

I know her name, what she looks like (she sent me a picture) and what she likes. She knows my name, what I like, but doesn't have my picture (I'm a little reluctant to show her)

Well, next year we plan on attending a Convention together in San Jose called "Fanime" (a japanese anime convention)

She wants to meet me, and quite frankly, I want to meet her along with her grand parents (it's a personel thing, I want to make sure they approve of me seeing her)

We plan on cosplaying together but that's not the problem I'm seeing

You see..... she has an ex-boyfriend, and I've read a lot of Eternal Triangle storys.. and I just can't help but worry that this could occur, I mean he doesn't live in California (where she does) he live's roughly in the middle of hte US (according to her)

But, during my time at Fort Knox I came to realization that I love this girl, we've talked on the phone so I know she's female and the way she talk's to me online make's me believe she love's me

But..... I'm worried if I go I might say something wrong and cause her to get rather angry at me

The thing is, she's still in school (Senior in high school) I'm a graduate, 2004, she's still a minor and quite frankly, I don't understand the law enough to know what I can and can't do.. and this is new to me... all female's I've meet I've meet face to face, but this girl is online but even know I can't let my guard down

I don't know, what do you all say? I want to meet this girl and seal our relationship, and possibly go a bit further, but I know online meeting and such is a very dangerous gamble, because you honestly don't know if what you've been told and hear is actually who you think it is.. again.. what do you all say?

What should I say to her when I meet her? How do I avoid getting a kick to the groin?

[Raziel]

I think unless you are really serious in wanting to develop a relationship, you would be better off either not metting her and/or letting it simmer as a friends w benefits sort of thing.

I think it would be a bad idea to aim for more then that, if you were not willing to be physically nearby her. Long distance relationships are just asking to get your heart stomped.(Meh sigh, if I followed my own advice. I would have gotten bit twice like that )

Now assuming you do want tokeep moving forward with her. Just do what you have been doing before, don't try to play it up. Whatever you have been saying or doing has worked so far, so keep it going.

Best of luck.

[Eclipse]

long distance relationships greatly depend on the people involved. Some people have the determination and tenacity to make it work and see things through and it works out just great. Other people don't think its worth the extra effort to put into kepping the relationship alive and things fall apart.

[Kalshion]

She says I treat her well, and the feeling I get is the same what she feels (love)

I guess the reason I'm second guessing myself is because she has an ex, and I'm worried that Ex might make a move despite his distence from her.. if something like that was to even occur, what would you do? I mean granted, I always carry my combat knife with me where ever I go (the store's here know I have it cause they've done me since I was born, and know I've been carrying it since an event that occured 11 year's ago)

[John Prezioso]

Kalshion- Do you realize what you're doing? Your asking advice about women from geeks who spend their time playing videogames and posting on forums!

But seriously, I think you should stop sweating it and relax. Just be yourself.

[sckid1108]

Don't worry about an Ex. Remember the old army adage:

"Just because there is a goalie doesn't mean you can't score ;-) "

[teknocack]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Prez:

Kalshion- Do you realize what you're doing? Your asking advice

about women

from geeks who spend their time playing videogames and posting on forums!

But seriously, I think you should stop sweating it and relax. Just be yourself.

---

LOL. Cripes, why didn't I think of that? Oh well. Kalshion, Prez is right. Relax and just enjoy. Because of your youth, I think you should not be looking for a serious relationship though. You have a lot of playing to do and there are a multitude of fantastic and not so fantastic women out there. This is when you should be sampling while you figure out what you are going to do for the rest of your life.

One final thought: Many people believe that a relationship with that certain someone will complete them and/or their lives. It's a lie programmed into us by society. You are already complete, you just have to be still and you will know this truth. Once you know this truth then all the pressure is off. Who you are has nothing to do with your brain, body, or heart. You are more simple and larger than those all at once. Once you meet the truth of who you are, then you are ready for a relationship. Then you are ready for anything.

[echo]

Seeing I am the only non-male geek around here I have to say, the whole thing sounds cute and romantic. However two thing caught my attention soo much that I cannot really pay much detail to the rest.

1. Why are you reluctant to show her a pic?

2. Always remember under 18 will get you 20

[Kalshion]

Because my only picture is my military photo? And it'd be a lie to show her that since I'm not in the military anymore

And yea, she's at least four year's younger than me and a senior in high school, although the two of us are in agreement that neither will do the you know what until after marriage

[John Prezioso]

quote:

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And it'd be a lie to show her that since I'm not in the military anymore

---

Hey - it's not a lie. You are a military veteran for life. Assuming you served your term, you have earned the right to wear that uniform for life.

[jamotto]

quote:

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Originally posted by Kalshion:

Because my only picture is my military photo? And it'd be a lie to show her that since I'm not in the military anymore

---

If you don't want to use your military photo then have a professional photographer take one.

[Kalshion]

Did, and sent it to her

She.... said I was handsome *blushs* that brings a tear to my eye cause no woman has ever said that to me

[echo]

That is sooo sweet. I wish you the best!

[Guest $iLk]

I love this thread... I love the internet!

I missed out on DragonCon last year myself... mostly because I never made serious preparations to go.

[Darkling]

I once met a girl online shortly after divorcing my 1st wife. This girl told me that she was very Voluptuous and that all the guys thought she was totally hot. I told her that I didn't like very thin girls, but at the same time I'm uncomfortable with a woman who weighs more than me, and I weigh 160LBS, so I asked her, would I be uncomfortable, and she told me "DEFINITLY NOT". So the Romancing continued.

2 months later I met her and she looked like she weighed a metric ton... Seriously she looked like she weighed NO LESS than around 350 to 400 LBS. It turns out that the pics she sent was of her Sister, who weighed about 135LBS, so needless to say I was VERY dissapointed.

When it comes to Online dating, you just never really know.

[LostInSpace]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Darkling:

I once met a girl online shortly after divorcing my 1st wife. This girl told me that she was very Voluptuous and that all the guys thought she was totally hot. I told her that I didn't like very thin girls, but at the same time I'm uncomfortable with a woman who weighs more than me, and I weigh 160LBS, so I asked her, would I be uncomfortable, and she told me "DEFINITLY NOT". So the Romancing continued.

2 months later I met her and she looked like she weighed a metric ton... Seriously she looked like she weighed NO LESS than around 350 to 400 LBS. It turns out that the pics she sent was of her Sister, who weighed about 135LBS, so needless to say I was VERY dissapointed.

When it comes to Online dating, you just never really know.

---

Just be glad it was an actual woman and not some guy. There's a myth circulating on the internet that women do exist on it.

[Guest]

You're young Kalshion.

Go into it with your eyes open, and do not go into it expecting a long term relationship..

Go and meet her, enjoy the time, meet her grandparents and have a good time.

If she is over 16 and you are 18, you're good to go, but if you are over 21, and she is under 18, forget about it. You will be arrested, and be considered a sexual predator for the rest of your life.

Again, do NOT go into this expecting a long term relationship, go into this, thinking that you are going to enjoy her company, and if it grows into something more... BONUS.... LOL

Good luck...

[Kalshion]

Thats what I'm afraid of

She wants to go to college after she gets out of high school (she's at least 4 year's younger than me)

Personally I'm stuck with no job thanks to this damn "Medical Discharge" crude I have on my military record

I'm 20 and she's 16, soon to be 17... I've already told her what would occur if we went further in the relationship and she's willing to wait until she get's older before making any "permanant" plans. Meeting her grand parent's is something I want to do to get there approval of me meeting/talking to her, mostly due to my age

[Guest $iLk]

quote:

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I'm 20 and she's 16, soon to be 17...

---

ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!

I know you aren't going to listen to me anyway... but as the voice of experience: Don't. No matter how "mature she is for her age", no matter how sane she appears right now...

I predict bad things - and a story full of hilarity at your expense.

[Darkling]

quote:

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Originally posted by $iLk:

quote:

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I'm 20 and she's 16, soon to be 17...

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ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!

---

Sounds like my 1st wife. She was 16 & I was 20 when we got married. Now, consider the fact that we were only 4 years apart when we got married, of course neither one of us was REALLY mature enough, but for the REST OF OUR MARRIAGE every time that SHE would make a mistake, all I heard from her, was how she was only 16 when we got married and that I took advantage of her, blah, blah, blah, blah,... Never mind the fact that when I met her, she was 15 and lied to me and told me that she was 18. By the time that she had told me the truth, we had already had sex. So you can imagine, as pictured above

[Kalshion]

Ok then, how is it the law forsaken's those of us who just want to have some life in us?

When I was 16, I had four friends who where 4-5 year's OLDER than me (20, 21, 18, 19) both male and females, we hung out together and yet the police NEVER got on us or asked us about our age, they never bothered us when they saw us together at the mall (although they DID follow us)

So what's the difference? (Is confused)

[LostInSpace]

It depends on what state you live in. Some are 16 and over and others are 18 and over. Usually, as long as no one complains about the age difference (such as a family member) and as long as you keep it platonic (again depending on what the state legal age of sexual consent is) there should be no problem aside from the maturity issue.

[Kalshion]

State rights

Age rights

Sexual rights

.....

Maybe instead of going into politic's I shoulda gone into this.....

Anyone know California's state righst in regards to these matters

[Guest $iLk]

Federal Age doesn't matter in the United States. Federal age to own a handgun is 18 also... still doesn't matter as every state is 21+.

According to Nevada law (NRS 200.364), if you are over 18 and she is under 18 - do not. I don't care what parents say, I don't care what your buddies say. Generally it's taken on a case-by-case basis, but if her parents complain at some point, her grandparents, or even if anyone complains you will be a registered sex offender and can never live near a school nor probably have custody of any children you might have.

Besides - the legal aspect isn't even my greatest concern. She isn't mature enough to engage in any relationship. Let her grow up and get everything out of her system. You focus on girls 21+ just because.

[Cruis.In]

meeting someone online and then subsequently going out might be fine. But as your interaction has been online only or by phone and not in person, developing feelings that last, and getting into an actual relationship is where the question marks might come in.

Because by relationship I assume, you mean full relationship and not just one continued on the internet. And for you to know if you love her and if she really loves you, you'll have to be with her and not just through the internet.

But notice up front I said meeting online and subsequently dating/marrying or whatever is your thing is not far fetched today... but determining true feelings you'll need more than just the net.