Why Some Athletes Can't Have Real Jobs

[Supreme Cmdr]

** Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all

dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate

me."

** New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:

"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

** And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own

mother to win the Super Bowl." Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win,

I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

** Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John

Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

** Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in

football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman

Einstein."

** Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to

graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)

** Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up

alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then

line up in a circle."

** Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter

Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to

prison for three years, not Princeton."

** Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of

heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the

morning regardless of what time it is."

** Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to

Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's

expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

** Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him,

'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, "Coach, I

don't know and I don't care."

[admiraltigerclaw]

ROTFLMAO!

Dude! Where'd you get these?

[Marvin]

Copy and paste time. Hotmail, here I come.

[Supreme Cmdr]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Admiral Tigerclaw:

ROTFLMAO!

Dude! Where'd you get these?

---

hehe, I read my spam? Just kidding, I have friends who send me stuff like this all the time.

[admiraltigerclaw]

Ah... friends...

You mean, THE PENGUINES?!

SUBJECT NAME: PENGUINE

CLASS: Bird

INTELLIGENCE: Surpasses mere humans.

"What more cunning a foe for mankind then one he thinks is harmless?"

Are THEY the friends who send you this DEADLY humor? (Death from suffocation due to laughter.)

Ladies and gentlemen, what will be Supreme Commander's next trick? STAY TUNED to find out...

::TRANSMISSION INTERUPTED::

[Cerebus]

** Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him,

'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, "Coach, I

don't know and I don't care."**

LOL!

[DennyMala]

ROTFLMAO!!

[Guest]

THat was just too good, and to think these guys make MILLIONS of dollars.

Hmm, that gives me an idea......